Just Like Heaven
by Tinkerbell3902
Summary: COMPLETE. When they met, they couldn't stand each other. When they got married, they hated each other. But what they didn't realize was that love wasn't far behind... JoLu
1. Escape

**A/N:** Welcome to my newest creation! So, after finishing Opposite Sides, I wanted to write another story where Johnny and Lulu actually fell in love instead of building on an already existing relationship. I just got struck by this idea and started scribbling and I ended up with a full story (an outline of course but a full outline at that)! So, here it is! Enjoy! And as always, leave a comment!

* * *

_Spinning on that dizzy edge  
I kissed her face and kissed her head  
And dreamed of all the different ways I had  
To make her glow…  
"Why are you so far away?" she said  
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you  
That I'm in love with you?"_

_You  
Soft and only  
You  
Lost and lonely  
You  
Strange as angels  
Dancing in the deepest oceans  
Twisting in the water  
You're just like a dream…_

"Just Like Heaven" – The Cure

**Chapter 1 – Escape**

He was standing on the edge as he always did. The tips of his shoes hung over the terrace and the wind blew through his short brown hair. He looked down at the ground below. His mother's rose bushes flanked the side of the house and the stone path weaved through the backyard, leading towards the garden shed at the back of the property. The fall was relatively small and wouldn't kill him if he jumped but he thought about jumping anyway. A few cuts and bruises would only surface and would accompany the many others but no one would really care. Sure, he would get scolded by his father and maybe Claudia but Johnny Zacchara stopped caring about what his family thought a long time ago.

"Careful, John…"

He looked behind him and saw his older sister standing in the doorway. She was wearing her favorite black leather jacket, dark jeans and one of her many pairs of fire engine pumps. She smiled at him, a hint of wickedness on her lips but he knew that there was no malice towards him. That's just how Claudia was. Johnny rolled his eyes and jumped off the balcony and back onto the terrace.

"Go away, Claudia…" he muttered and Claudia scoffed.

"Not a chance…" she said.

He walked past her and headed back into his bedroom. He was still angry with Claudia for showing up out of nowhere after being gone for years. She explained that it was their father, Anthony Zacchara, that sent her away but she had plenty of opportunities to come back. Instead, she left him in this hell hole that they called a home. He collapsed onto his bed and she followed him back into the house and stood at the foot of his bed with her arms folded.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"Nothing…" he snapped.

"Did daddy say something to you?" she asked.

"No! Just get out!" he said, pulling a pillow over his head.

"Suit yourself…" she said turning her on her heel and heading out the door.

Johnny heard the door close behind Claudia and he groaned in frustration. He had to get out of this house. Between Trevor, Anthony and Claudia, he was sure to go insane if he didn't do something right that minute. He looked over to his desk and saw his car keys sitting idly. He sat up, swooped up his keys and headed out the door. He needed to clear his head and what better way to do that than going ninety miles per hour on the highway.

* * *

"Lulu… why haven't you given me an answer?"

Lulu Spencer looked up from her morning coffee at Logan Hayes, her boyfriend of the last eight months, and sighed heavily.

"Do we have to talk about this now?" she asked, curling her blond hair around her ear.

"Lulu, I asked you to marry me two days ago and you still haven't given me an answer…" he said, walking towards her.

"I told you that I had to think about it…" she said, gently stirring her coffee.

"And have you?" he asked.

She was tired of this push-pull thing that they had going. The more he pushed her to make them official, the more panicked she became. She wasn't commitment phobic but she just couldn't help but to wonder if this was as good as it gets. Yes, Logan was a nice guy. After serving in Iraq in the war, he decided to start his own auto shop and was taking some classes at Port Charles University at night. He said that she inspired him to be better. He was a good and solid person but she didn't want to settle into a life that she wasn't sure that she even wanted.

"I have…" she said.

"And?" he asked.

"I'm—I'm still not sure, Logan… I wish you would just stop pressuring me into making a decision…" she said as she stood up and walked over to the kitchen sink to rinse out her coffee mug.

"What's there to think about? You know that I love you, right?" he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders.

She looked up at him and his blue eyes were fixated on her. She felt uneasy about this whole marriage thing, especially with Logan. They hadn't been dating for very long but he was just so head over heels with her that he just wanted to make it official but something deep inside of her was just screaming not to. She witnessed the relationship between her parents implode and both Nikolas and Lucky had been divorced as well and she just wanted to get it right.

"I know that you do…" she sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Then what's the problem?" he asked.

"I just want to be absolutely sure…" she said softly.

"Ok… just know that I'm _absolutely_ sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with you…" he said, smiling.

She smiled weakly as he kissed her on the forehead and then walked into their bedroom. She exhaled shakily and shook her head. She hated lying to him. She knew that she wasn't ready to get married and even if she were ready, how could she be certain that Logan was the person that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with? She never pictured herself settling down but that's what Logan was asking her to do when he wanted her to wear his mother's engagement ring. Everything that ring meant was everything that she feared. She had a little bit too much of Luke Spencer in her to be with a guy like Logan.

"Do you need a ride down to the MetroCourt for work?" Logan called from the other room.

"Yeah I do… the transmission on my car is still broken…" she said.

"Lu… how many times have I told you to go and get a new car?" he asked.

"A thousand times but you know that we can't afford a new car!" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

Logan appeared in the hallway and looked at her. She knew that he wanted to give her everything that she could ever need but mechanics didn't make much and anyone who paid the slightest attention would see that despite his best efforts, it just wasn't working.

"I'll take care of it…" Logan said.

"Logan… a car payment on top of the rent for the apartment and then the tuition for your night classes isn't going to be good… let me talk to Nikolas about loaning us some money…" she started.

"No! You're not going to Nikolas… I'm going to take care of it, Lulu… just believe me…" he said firmly.

He left the room and she covered her ears as he slammed the bedroom door behind him. When she didn't hear Logan storming around the apartment anymore, she uncovered her ears and sighed heavily.

"And he wonders why I haven't given him an answer to his proposal… go figure…" she muttered to herself.

* * *

Behind the wheel of his car, Johnny was in control. His hands gripped the wheel firmly and they flowed steadily from side to side, making the car glide swiftly down the highway at an unearthly speed. He pressed on the accelerator gently, sending the arrow past the eighty miles per hour mark. His eyes were intense and focused ahead of him. No one else existed when he was driving. It was him, the car, and the road. There was no Anthony, raving about his dead mother or Claudia's latest betrayal, no Trevor, scheming his way into a more prominent position in the organization, and no Claudia, trying to make up for everything that had happened years ago. He looked up as he zoomed past a weathered sign that had to be from the seventies from the font and color choice.

"Welcome to Port Charles… great…" he said, matter-of-factly as he read the welcome sign into the sleepy seaside town.

The downtown area rose before him, office buildings, the hospital, and the MetroCourt hotel all towered above him. Johnny never went into Port Charles because of the presence of Sonny Corinthos. The town was always deemed unsafe for Johnny and Claudia because that was Corinthos territory but no one really knew who Johnny was, he figured that he would take his chances.

_After all, what was the worst that could happen? _

He slowed down and surveyed all of the buildings and looked for the tallest one. He cut across two lanes and swerved into the parking lot of the MetroCourt hotel. The hotel was by far the largest building in town. He kicked the door to his yellow convertible Mustang closed and headed into the lobby. It was a nice hotel, almost too nice for a drab town like Port Charles, Johnny thought. He headed to the elevator and hit the button for the top floor. The doors closed in front of him and he sighed heavily as the elevator slowly rose. He made his way over to the stairwell to the roof. The air was cool but still. He walked over to the edge of the building and hopped on the ledge. He leaned over slightly, looking at the fall. He chuckled to himself as he paced along the ledge. _Now, this was a fall_. The hotel had fifteen floors plus the roof. The cars below looked like ants scurrying along wildly in the street. He closed his eyes, held his arms out and stood there for a moment, hoping that a strong gust of wind would give him the push that he needed to dive head first into a fatal freefall.

"Don't!"

Johnny's eyes shot open and he turned around and saw a girl standing in the door way to the roof. Her eyes were wide and full of fear as she held the doorknob with all of her might. She was wearing a chocolate colored leather overcoat over a white t-shirt and jeans. Her hair was brilliantly blond and was in loose curls that sat gently on her shoulders. After he got past the emotion in her eyes, he noticed that they were a warm coffee brown. If he weren't so angry, he would've really noticed how stunningly beautiful she was standing before him.

"I wasn't going to jump…" he growled, turning away from the girl.

"Funny… when someone is standing on the ledge of a fifteen story building with his arms stretched out, I don't think he's enjoying the view…" she retorted.

He turned back around to face her. His eyes narrowed on her as she walked towards him. She stood there with her hands on her hips with her head tilted, as if she were examining him. He felt his mouth curl into a cruel smirk and he stretched his arms out and teetered on the edge, taunting her.

"I mean it! Stop it!" she screamed.

He laughed and jumped off the edge, landing right in front of her. She was shorter than him, the top of her head barely passed his chin. She noticed their closeness and she stepped back.

"What's your deal? You don't even know me…" he said.

"Doesn't mean that I want to see you die…" she said.

"Relax… it's not like I haven't jumped off a fifteen story building before…" he said, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Oh, so you're even crazier than I thought… nice…" she quipped, folding her arms across her chest.

He looked up at her as the last syllable rolled off her tongue. Who the hell did this girl think that she was? Crazy? Him? No, he was the farthest from crazy. He took offense to anyone who made cracks at his sanity because they had no idea what he lived through with Anthony Zacchara's insane mood swings.

"You no idea what the hell you're talking about so I suggest that you just turn around and go back downstairs before you say something really stupid…" he growled.

She rolled her eyes but she turned around and walked away. Johnny watched her move towards the door to the stairwell and she slammed it behind her. It astounded him that even in a town where he knew absolutely no one, he could find a person that just wouldn't let him stand on the ledge of a building.

* * *

The sun was setting as Lulu's shift ended. She logged off her computer at the front desk of the MetroCourt hotel and picked up her purse. Sure, being a desk receptionist at her cousin Carly's hotel wasn't exactly her dream job but it was a decent paying job and that was all that mattered.

"Hey, are you ready to go?"

Lulu looked up and saw Logan standing at the desk. She smiled quickly and said yes. He held out his hand and she walked around the desk and took his hand in hers. He kissed her cheek and they began walking towards the parking lot. Her mind was in a million different places: Logan's proposal, stress from work, and that jerk that she met on the rooftop earlier on her break.

"Are you alright?" Logan asked.

"Yeah… I mean… I just had a rough day…" she muttered.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Oh nothing… just when I was on my break, I went up to the roof and met this guy who was just infuriating…" she said, opening the door to Logan's pickup truck.

"What? What did he say to you?" he demanded.

"Nothing really… he was just really rude…" Lulu said, sliding into the car.

"Forget him… but hey, why don't we head down to Kelly's and grab some dinner?" he asked.

She looked up at him again and was instantly hit with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. He was really trying and she wasn't being fair to him by not making an effort. She squeezed his hand and smiled.

"Sounds perfect." She said.

* * *

Johnny pulled up to the front of his house and parked the car. The guards that were posted at the gate immediately opened the door for him and Johnny handed one of the guards his keys so that he could park the car in the garage.

"John? Is that you?"

Johnny groaned as Trevor Lansing, the family attorney stepped out of Anthony's study. It was no secret that Johnny disliked Trevor but he put up with the lawyer just to appease his father.

"What do you want, Trevor?" Johnny asked.

"Your father wants to see you… he's been asking for you for over an hour, where the hell have you been?" Trevor hissed.

"I went out, ok? I got back here as soon as I got your messages…" Johnny explained.

"Fine… he's waiting for you…" Trevor said, motioning to the door.

Johnny sighed heavily and walked into the study. Anthony was sitting at his desk, reading the New York Times and Claudia was on the couch reading one of her magazines. Johnny cleared his throat loudly, letting his father know that he was standing right there. Claudia laughed and went back to reading.

"You know I don't like your attitude, John…" Anthony said with his voice laced with subtle anger.

"Sorry…" he muttered as he sat down next to Claudia.

"Where have you been?" Anthony demanded.

"Out…" Johnny quipped and Claudia hit him on the shoulder.

"John…" Claudia warned.

"I was out driving… I went into Port Charles and then came back as soon as I got Trevor's eight million messages…" Johnny said and Anthony's eyes raged with fury.

"How many times have I told you not to go into Port Charles? You know that's Corinthos-Morgan territory and now that the Alcazars are sniffing around, they're going to be on the lookout for any small threat and stomp it out immediately!" Anthony roared.

"I'm not going into Port Charles again… the people there are just—obnoxious…" Johnny said.

"What happened?" Claudia asked.

"Did you get accosted by one of Sonny Corinthos' men?" Anthony asked.

"No… I was at the MetroCourt hotel and this girl just randomly gets in my face and calls me crazy…" Johnny said and Claudia laughed.

"Well, what were you doing?" she asked.

"I was just standing on the roof of the building, minding my own business…" Johnny said, folding his arms.

"I can hardly believe that some random girl would come up to you and call you crazy for no reason…" Claudia said.

"John… do I need to get Trevor to get on this?" Anthony asked.

"No! I was just standing on the ledge of the roof, so what?" Johnny cried and Claudia shook her head.

"John… how many times do I have to tell you to stop acting recklessly? You know that we can't afford to lose you… you're going to be the head of this family and I will not tolerate any more of your antics, do you understand?" Anthony roared.

Johnny's blood ran cold as his father screamed at him. He was the only person that Johnny was truly afraid of. That was how Anthony Zacchara became Anthony Zacchara… by instilling fear in every person that he crossed paths with.

"I got it…" Johnny said quietly.

"So, no going into Port Charles?" Anthony said, picking up his news paper.

"I won't set foot into Port Charles…" Johnny said, putting his feet on the coffee table.

"I've never seen you so worked up about some girl calling you crazy, John… I'm starting to think that you might like her… was she pretty?" Claudia teased.

"Why does it matter? I'm not going into Port Charles anymore and I'm definitely not going to see that girl ever again." Johnny said.


	2. For the Love of Family

**

* * *

**

Chapter 2 – For the Love of Family

Claudia Zacchara pitied her brother. He was the shining hope of the Zacchara family… the one who Anthony would pass the torch onto and would continue the family legacy. She, on the other hand, was nothing to Anthony. Her mother was nothing to him and therefore she was nothing. Of course, Anthony didn't care if Claudia went into Port Charles and was gunned down by either the Corinthos-Morgan organization or the Alcazars but she figured that she would take her chances. She was walking along the piers, her red stilettos clicking on the wood. Her head was down, looking at her phone.

"Hey sweets…"

She looked up and saw a man standing in front of her. She put her hands on her hips and gave the man standing in front of her a glance over. If one thing was for sure, she wasn't about to let this clown get to her. She just shook her head, laughing under her breath and continued walking. The man grabbed her by her arm and pulled her to him roughly.

"What's got you in such a hurry?" he hissed.

Claudia writhed from his grasp and quickly stepped on his foot with her three inch heel. He swore loudly and Claudia began to run. She didn't get very far though. The man quickly caught up with her and grabbed her by the waist. Claudia screamed and tried to elbow him in the groin but he dodged her and then quickly covered her mouth.

"Feisty… I like that in a woman…" he said.

She struggled against him but he was a lot stronger than she was. She suddenly felt cold metal against her chin and her eyes looked down to see that he was holding a switchblade to her throat. She swallowed hard as he began whispering the most revolting things to her as he began to tug at her clothes. She fought back with all of her might and she managed to break free from his grasp but he lunged for her. He grabbed her by the leg and she lost her balance and she fell forward, hitting her head on the boardwalk and everything went black.

* * *

Johnny rushed over to Port Charles General Hospital as soon as he got the call. Apparently, someone by the name of Jasper Jacks had found Claudia at the docks unconscious and she looked like she had been beaten up very badly, according to the nurse that he spoke with. Johnny didn't even think twice about going into Port Charles to pick up his sister. He knew that his father's people wouldn't have done a thing to help Claudia get back to Crimson Pointe so Johnny had to do it. He turned sharply into the emergency room parking lot and swung his car into the nearest available space. Closing the door behind him, he made his way through the double doors and went straight to the nurse's station.

"I'm looking for my sister, Claudia Zacchara… I spoke with a Nurse Johnson on the phone…" Johnny said.

"I'm Nurse Johnson… and you must be John Zacchara, right?" the nurse asked.

"Yeah that's me… is—is she going to be ok?" he asked shakily.

"Yes, she's going to be fine… she didn't suffer a concussion like we originally thought but she's been beat up pretty badly… she's going to need to take it easy for the next week or so just to let her body heal…" the nurse said.

"Can I go see her?" he asked.

"Of course…" Epiphany said.

She turned around and led Johnny down to the hall to Claudia's room. She looked up at him wearily and tried to smile. Johnny immediately took her hand in his and squeezed it gently. Claudia sniffed and he tried to calm her so that she wouldn't start crying.

"Claudia… shhh… it's alright… I'm here…" he said, caressing her dark black hair.

"John…" she sobbed.

"What happened? Who did this to you?" he asked.

"I couldn't—I can't re—remember his face…" she cried.

"You can't remember anything? What about what was he wearing?" he asked.

"I don't—I don't know if I do…" she gasped.

"Ok, walk me through what happened, Claudia… please…" Johnny pleaded.

"I was on the docks… I was on my cell phone… and I was going to walk back to my car… and this guy came out of nowhere and started calling me 'sweets' and other things that made me want to vomit and I ignored him and kept walking… and that's—that's when he grabbed me… I stomped on his foot with my shoe and I started running but…" she said before her voice broke again.

"Claudia… it's ok… you can tell me…" he said soothingly.

"He grabbed me by the waist and put a knife to my throat… and then I—I could feel him start to tug at my skirt, John… and that's when I fought harder and I got away for a little bit but when he grabbed me again, he got a hold of my leg and I guess I lost my balance and I fell and hit the pavement… that's the last thing I remember…" she cried.

"Do you remember what he looked like?" he asked.

"He—he had a tattoo of a tiger on his arm… when he was holding me, he had his arm around my neck and I saw the tattoo." Claudia said.

Johnny looked at his sister's battered face. Her lip was cut and she had a white bandage wrapped around her silky raven black hair and in that moment, he realized that his bitterness about her departure all those years ago didn't matter. She was back and she needed him and he needed her too. He extended his arms out to her and she hugged him tightly. How could someone do this to her? How could someone treat his sister with such disgust? He wasn't going to stand for it. Johnny pushed back his chair and immediately went to the door.

"Where are you going?" she cried.

"I'm going to make sure that bastard never comes near you ever again…" Johnny growled.

* * *

Lulu closed the door to the apartment that she shared with Logan. Luckily enough, Logan had to leave early that morning to go take care of some things at the garage so he didn't wake her. She enjoyed the silence of the apartment and the fact that she wasn't going to be prodded for an answer to his proposal. She fished the keys out of her oversized purse and locked the door. She headed down the pathway and onto the sidewalk. She loved walking to work in the summer. Port Charles summers were always warm and sunny. The air was fresh and not stifling like in Manhattan. The walk over to the MetroCourt from her apartment wasn't a quick walk but it was a long enough for Lulu to clear her head. The sidewalk along the waterfront led to the docks. She was texting Carly about possibly meeting up for lunch when she heard yelling coming from one of the alleys near the docks.

"What the hell?" Lulu muttered.

She quickened her pace and went towards the direction of the voices. Her heart began to pound as the yelling became louder and more distinct.

"You are never going to see the light of day ever again! Do you hear?" one voice yelled.

"Yeah? And what are you going to do about it pretty boy?" the other voice fired back, taunting the other person.

Lulu quietly peered around the corner at the argument. It was two men: one was on the ground, sitting up against the wall of the alley and the other was standing right in front of him, with a gun pointed right at the other man's head. Lulu's hands shook violently and she knew that she should leave before something else happened.

"I think that now I'm going to have to go find her and **really** give her what I planned…" the man sitting on the ground said as a devilish smirk creeped across his face.

The one pointing the gun immediately kicked him in the stomach and as soon as he doubled over, the other man fired his gun. Lulu shrieked and she dropped her cell phone. The shooter looked up sharply and age was blazing through his eyes and fear iced through Lulu's heart.

_Those eyes… she could never forget those eyes… it was that guy from the roof at the MetroCourt._

"What the hell are you doing here?" he barked.

Lulu couldn't even answer him. She looked down at his victim and saw him lying there so still and she realized that he was dead. Her breath began to rise in her throat and she realized that she couldn't breathe. The guy began to walk towards her but she immediately ran back down the pathway towards the apartment. She reached the door to her apartment and began to shake all over. What had she just witnessed? Did she really just see that guy shoot that unarmed man for no reason? She tore into her purse, looking for her keys. When she finally found them, she had to take a few minutes to stop her hands from shaking so that she could get the key into the lock. She ran into the apartment and locked the door behind her.

"Oh my god…" she cried as she sunk down to the floor.

* * *

Claudia fidgeted with her hands, anxious for Johnny to return. Her brother had always been brash and impulsive and that look in his eye when he left was unnerving. _He was going to kill the guy that attacked her_. Of course she would've gladly wanted to see the guy who did this to her to fry but she just didn't want her brother to get involved in this mess. She didn't want him to ruin his life just by protecting her. Her eyes never left the door, waiting for it to open. First of all, she wanted John to be ok and not to get himself killed because of her. Anthony would never forgive her if anything happened to Johnny because of her and she would never forgive herself either. She suddenly heard the door open and Johnny walked back into the hospital room. He came to her and hugged her tightly.

"Wha—what happened? Where did you go?" she asked, holding her little brother's face in her hands.

"Don't worry about that… how are you doing?" he asked.

"Don't do that, John! Don't shut down on me ok? You need to tell me what you did!" Claudia demanded.

"I took care of the situation, Claudia… ok? Is that a good enough answer?" he asked.

" John… if you did something to that guy, you need to tell me and we'll fix it…" she began.

"Relax, Claudia… you're never going to have to worry about him ever again…" he said, putting his hands on her shoulders.

She looked him in the eye and knew what he had done and she bit her bottom lip. She didn't want this. She didn't want him to kill that guy for her. Even though he did it for all of the right reasons, she was terrified for her little brother. He was all that she had in this world and she wasn't about to lose him.

"John… you—you need to tell daddy… he'll make sure that all of the evidence is gone and nothing will get traced back to you…" she said, panicked.

"We're not telling dad anything, Claudia… don't worry… just try to get some sleep… I'll be back soon…" he said, kissing his sister on the head.

He walked out of Claudia's hospital room and softly closed the door behind him. He pulled out the cell phone that belonged to that girl. She had been the same nosy girl on the roof of the MetroCourt hotel. Out of all of the people in the world to be a witness to a murder, it had to be her: that know-it-all and irritating blonde princess. He shoved the sleek powder blue phone back into his pocket and ran his fingers through his short brown hair.

_This was going to be a nightmare… he could already tell…_


	3. The Arrangement

**A/N:** Thank you guys for all of the awesome comments and reviews! You guys are the best! Oh, and if you didn't know, I made a trailer for this story that I have on my YouTube channel. The link to the video is on my profile/bio page so if you haven't seen it, I'd appreciate it if you'd just take a look. I'm very proud of how it turned out. Happy reading! And don't forget to leave a comment!

**Chapter 3 – The Arrangement**

Trevor rushed over to General Hospital as soon as he received Johnny's message about Claudia. He didn't even bother to knock when he entered Claudia's room. Both Johnny and Claudia looked up at the calm and collected lawyer as he set down his briefcase at the foot of Claudia's bed.

"I need you two to tell me exactly what happened." Trevor ordered.

"First, you have to swear that you won't tell our father…" Claudia said.

"Do you want my help or not?" Trevor asked.

"Fine! Some bastard attacked Claudia on the Elm Street piers and left her there bleeding and hurt so I took care of him…" Johnny said.

"What do you mean by 'took care of him', John?" Trevor asked.

"He's dead." Johnny growled and Trevor shook his head.

"John… how many times have I told you to keep your temper in check? Your father is going to have a fit when he finds out about what you did…" Trevor muttered.

"You're not going to tell daddy anything!" Claudia screamed.

"Well what am I supposed to do then? Why did you even call me?" Trevor barked.

"Trevor, no one can know about this… you have to make sure that John doesn't take the fall for this… if John goes to jail for this, daddy will never forgive either of us… you have to help us…" Claudia said.

Trevor looked from Claudia then to Johnny. She was holding onto her brother's hand for dear life as if he were going to be carted off to prison that instant. Trevor sighed heavily and nodded his head.

"Alright… I just have to know what we're dealing with… John, did anybody see you?" Trevor asked.

Johnny swallowed hard and thought about that moment when he pulled the trigger. He was so angry at that guy for laying a hand on his sister that he was completely blinded by inconsolable rage that he didn't even see that girl watching him. He could still hear her scream ringing in his ears.

"Yes," Johnny said softly and Trevor groaned.

"Damn it… ok, do you know who it was?" Trevor asked.

"No… I don't know her name but she dropped her cell phone when she ran after she saw me shoot the guy…" Johnny said, taking the phone out of his pocket and handing it to the attorney.

"Ok, I'll get a trace on this and I'll use some friendly persuasion on her to get her to not talk to the police…" Trevor said.

"What do you mean by 'friendly persuasion', Trevor?" Claudia asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Just trust me… I'll handle it…" Trevor said.

Claudia and Johnny knew that look in Trevor's eyes. He had a plan. Trevor quickly exited the hospital room and disappeared down the hall very quickly. Johnny looked back at his sister with a concerned look on his face. When Trevor said that he was going to handle something, it always ended up badly.

* * *

Lulu sat on the couch, rocking back and forth. The image of that guy at the MetroCourt just shooting that other man in cold blood wouldn't stop playing in her mind. Her hands wouldn't stop shaking and her mind was racing on her next move. Should she call the police? Her brother, Lucky Spencer, was one of the Port Charles Police Department's most respected detectives and he would surely want her to go straight to the PCPD with what she saw. But how could she be even sure of what she did see? For all she knew, there could've been a nasty confrontation and what she saw was an act of self-defense.

_Maybe_…

The doorknob began to rattle and Lulu's heart began racing. Was he coming to silence her next? Surely she wasn't about to get away with witnessing a murder without having someone trying to make sure that she wouldn't talk.

"Lulu? Are you here?"

She turned around and saw Logan standing in the doorway. He immediately took notice of her agitated state and rushed to her side.

"Are—are you alright? What happened? I got a call from Carly saying that you hadn't shown up to work…" Logan said.

She didn't say anything but rather threw her arms around Logan's neck and cried on his shoulder. Her body shook all over and Logan tried his best to calm her down so that she could talk.

"Lulu… you have to tell me what happened… if you don't, I can't help you…" he said, curling a piece of her blond hair around her ear.

"I—I was walking… on my way to work… and—and I heard this yelling coming from an alleyway down on the docks… so—so I went to go see what it was and—" she began before her voice broke back into tears.

"Lulu… calm down… just tell me what else happened…" he asked.

"It was—it was that guy from the MetroCourt… and he was holding a gun on this other guy who it looked like he beat up… and they were yelling about something and then he just shot him!" Lulu cried.

"Oh my god…" Logan muttered.

"I screamed and he saw me and he started walking towards me but I just ran as fast as I could… and I got back here and locked all of the doors and windows…" she sobbed.

"Ok… well we need to call the police…" he said.

"No! What if he finds out that I contacted the police? He could—he could find me!" she shrieked.

"Lulu… you need to talk to the authorities… that guy is dangerous and he needs to be locked up before he kills anyone else!" Logan fought back.

"But—" Lulu started.

"I'll protect you… I promise… I swear on my life…" he said, taking her in his arms.

The moment of comfort came to an end when a knock came to the door and jolted Lulu out of her sense of security. Logan left her on the couch and went to the door. Lulu nodded and Logan slowly opened the door. An older man, dressed in an expensive Italian suit strode through the door without even saying a word.

"Can I help you?" Logan asked the visitor.

The man looked up at Logan and chuckled. He then turned around on Lulu and smiled.

"You must be Lulu Spencer…" he said.

"Who wants to know?" she asked timidly from the couch.

"My name is Trevor Lansing… I'd like to have a word with you… alone." He said.

"I'm not leaving…" Logan growled and Trevor looked to Lulu to ask him to leave but she didn't.

"Whatever you say to me you can say in front of Logan…" she said.

"Very well then… I'm an attorney for the Zacchara family…" Trevor started.

"Wait… the Zacchara family? As in Anthony Zacchara, the crime lord?" Logan asked.

"My client has never been charged with any crimes…" Trevor said, matter-of-factly.

"What do you want?" Lulu asked.

"It's my understanding that you've come into contact with Mr. Zacchara's son, John Zacchara…" Trevor started.

"If you call watching John Zacchara shoot someone before your eyes contact!" Logan yelled.

Trevor looked to Logan and then back to Lulu. He had his work cut out for him. He never anticipated a hot-headed and no-brains boyfriend. Surely, he was going to be the source of a few problems.

"Yes well I think we can agree that Johnny's temper can get the best of him…" Trevor conceded.

"Temper? He shot a man in cold blood!" Lulu shrieked.

"Look… I'm here to negotiate a mutually beneficial deal…" Trevor started.

"We don't want your hush money…" Logan snarled.

Trevor rolled his eyes at Logan and walked closer to Lulu. He didn't know how this proposition was going to fly with Lulu and this boyfriend of hers but if he was very persuasive. That's how he got to where he was today.

"What I'm offering is something so much more than money… I'm offering security… an alliance…" Trevor said, sitting down next to Lulu on the couch.

"What kind of an alliance are we talking about?" Lulu asked.

"Marriage…" Trevor said.

Lulu's eyes widened at the word and Logan looked as if he wanted to kill Trevor with his bare hands for even thinking that his girlfriend would ever marry someone besides him. Frankly, he didn't want to see Johnny married for any reason. Any relationship that Johnny had could be exploited as a weakness to Anthony and he was betting on Johnny to take control of the organization and Trevor needed to protect Johnny at all costs, to secure his interests, not necessarily John's. This was truly the only way out of this situation.

"You must be out of your mind…" Lulu said, standing up.

"If you marry John, you won't be forced to testify against him in court if Johnny ever gets implicated in this case… and with you saving John from prison, I'm most certain that you'll be greatly rewarded… the Zaccharas are very generous when someone does a great service for them…" Trevor said.

"So you're going to pay Lulu to marry Johnny? That's the most vile thing I've ever heard!" Logan roared.

"Good thing it's not up to you… this is Lulu's decision… I don't recall you ever being pertinent to this conversation…" Trevor quipped and Logan gritted his teeth in anger.

"I can't marry Johnny… I—I won't marry Johnny… what he did was wrong and—" Lulu started.

"You don't have to make a decision right now… I'm just putting the offer there on the table… I mean… who knows? You might be able to work out some sort of divorce settlement with John that'll take care of your boyfriend's tuition bills and the down payment for that garage that he's trying to keep up…" Trevor said.

Lulu and Logan looked to each other, wondering how the attorney knew about their financial situation. Trevor stood up and picked up his briefcase. He then pulled out Lulu's cell phone and placed it on their kitchen table and proceeded to walk to the door but before exiting, no doubted returning to the Zaccharas to formulate more strategies to keep Lulu quiet about the whole shooting, he turned back around to the couple.

"Just think about my offer… I'll be in touch…" Trevor said before closing the door behind him.

Logan looked to Lulu, unsure about what had just happened. She couldn't even look him in the eye and she felt his hand come to her face and brought her towards him.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah… I'm—I'm fine…" she muttered but he saw that look in her eye that said otherwise.

"Please don't tell me that you're even considering that bastard's offer…" Logan said.

"Of course not… there's no way that I would ever marry Johnny Zacchara…" Lulu scoffed.

* * *

Johnny wheeled Claudia into the study of the Zacchara mansion. Anthony, fortunately, was not home at the time. Johnny insisted that Claudia take it easy by using the wheelchair but as soon as Johnny came to a stop, Claudia eased out of the wheelchair and onto her feet.

"Hey… you promised that you'd use the wheelchair…" Johnny said.

"I promised that I would let you wheel me inside… and we're inside right now…" she said smiling.

Claudia kissed her brother on the cheek and made her way over to the couch slowly, making sure that she didn't disturb any of the bruises and cuts on her body.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah… I should be asking you if you're alright…" she said.

Johnny sat down next to her and she ran her fingers through his brown hair. In many ways, he was still that little boy that she knew all those years ago. He was still extremely guarded but only showed his sensitive and caring side to her.

"I'm fine, Claudia… really…" he said.

"But John… what you did for me was—" she started but Johnny shook his head.

"Trevor is going to take care of it…" Johnny assured her.

Claudia nodded and picked up her newest copy of her favorite celebrity magazine and began flipping through the pages. Johnny shut his eyes and laid back on the couch but was jolted awake by the study door opening and slamming shut. The two siblings looked up and saw Trevor standing in front of them. He sent down his briefcase on Anthony's desk and walked over towards the couch.

"So? What happened?" Claudia asked anxiously.

"I spoke with Miss Spencer…" Trevor began and both Claudia and Johnny raised their eyebrows in ignorance.

"Lulu Spencer is the name of the girl that witnessed the shooting… anyway, I made her a proposition in exchange for her silence." Trevor finished.

"Money isn't a one-hundred percent effective way to secure someone from not talking…" Johnny said, skeptically.

"Of course… which is why I didn't just include money…" Trevor said.

"Trevor, stop being vague and tell us what you came up with!" Claudia ordered.

"John… you're going to marry Lulu Spencer…" Trevor said.

"Like hell I am!" Johnny yelled.

There was no way that he was going to get married to Lulu Spencer. He didn't want to get married period because of his own experiences with marriage. It was just another glorified version of control and he wouldn't go there. After witnessing his own parents' marriage implode, there was no way that he was ever going to go down that road… least of all with a girl like Lulu Spencer. She was obnoxious, nosy and incredibly self-righteous. One of them would end up dead before they could even begin to think about divorce.

"John! It makes sense… with you married to Lulu… she can't be forced to testify against you if this case goes to trial. She's the only credible witness that can put you away for life or send you to death row! If you marry her, you'll be free and in the clear!" Claudia cried.

"Exactly," Trevor chimed in.

"Forget it… there's no way that I'm marrying her… she's insufferable! I can't and I won't marry her… end of story." Johnny cried. He stood up angrily and walked right past Trevor towards the door.

"You asked me to handle this situation and this is the only way that I can guarantee you that you won't spend a night in jail for what you did… so the ball is in your court, John… but I'm telling you… if you don't marry Lulu, there's a very real possibility that you're going to get the lethal injection if you're convicted…" Trevor said ominously.


	4. Closing the Deal

**Chapter 4 – Closing the Deal**

Claudia was only a few paces behind her fuming brother and caught the door as he tried to shut it behind him. This was ridiculous. Trevor's plan was foolproof and he was just going to take his chances and possibly end up behind bars for the rest of his life?

_Not on her watch._

"Tell me that you're not this stupid, John…" Claudia said, closing the door to his bedroom behind her.

"I'm not marrying that girl…" Johnny growled as he flopped down onto his bed.

Claudia let out an exasperated sigh and sat down beside her brother. Johnny was more like Anthony that Claudia cared to admit. He was just as stubborn as their old man and on his way to being just as callous.

"Johnny… come on… this is a no brainer… you marry Lulu, she doesn't testify against you and then when this thing blows over, you divorce her! It's foolproof!" she cried.

"No," he said flatly.

Claudia went silent for a few moments and Johnny looked up and saw the horror on her face. His sister was many things but emotional… never. Emotions were for the weak. He saw her bite her trembling bottom lip and the tears well up in her eyes.

"Come on, Claudia… don't do that…" he muttered, turning away from her.

"I can't help it! I can't watch you be fed to the wolves for protecting me, Johnny!" she cried.

"Hey… I'm going to be alright… everything is going to be fine, Claudia…" he said, putting his hands on his sister's narrow shoulders.

She exhaled shakily, believing his words, and she managed to pull herself together. Johnny had always been resourceful and he was never the one to show panic unless if the situation deserved his worry. He was surprisingly nonchalant about this entire thing and as much as it comforted her that he wasn't worried… _it scared the hell out of her too_…

However, he was a Zacchara… and Zaccharas were cunning, sharp, and ready for whatever was thrown at them. She had to have some faith in the fact that maybe he knew what he was doing.

"I'm—I'm just worried about you that's all, baby brother…" she said softly.

"I know… I know you mean well, but I'm not a little kid anymore… I can clean up my own messes…" he said, flashing one of his oh so charming smiles.

"But John… this is murder…" she said, the tension was clear in her voice.

"I know… I'll—I'll **think** about marrying Lulu… I won't make you any promises though… I'll **think** about it…" he said, emphasizing the "thinking" portion of his phrase.

Claudia sighed a sigh of relief. So, it wasn't a definite but at least he would consider it. Those words seemed to take some weight off Claudia's shoulders and she breathed easier.

"You worry too much…" Johnny said.

"I don't think you worry enough… this is your life, John…" Claudia said.

"Exactly… **my** life… I know you mean well but I don't need your protection all the time… I can take care of myself…" he said. He then sat up and walked over to his desk and swept up his car keys.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"For a drive… I need some time to think…" he said.

* * *

_Marriage_.

The words sent a cold shiver down Lulu's spine. She wasn't a typical girl that dreamt about her wedding day, leafed through the pages of various bridal magazines and fawned over the ornate dresses, or melted at the sight of a gorgeously set diamond on an engagement ring. The thought almost made her want to gag. She was cynical about the entire idea of marriage and with good reason. Her mother had the dreams of a huge wedding, the ridiculous princess dress, the perfect ring, and the perfect man.

_But having the perfect wedding didn't lead to a perfect life._

Laura did everything right… supposedly. She had the dress, had the wedding planner, had the flowers, had the huge guest list and she had her perfect man. Nothing should've gone wrong.

But now her mother was sitting in Shadybrook, in a rocking chair, staring at the wall. Lulu didn't understand how everything could just go so horribly wrong.

"Lulu?"

Lulu snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at Logan.

"Yes?" Lulu answered.

"Are you alright?" he asked and Lulu rolled her eyes at him, clearly irritated.

"I'm fine…" she said, standing up and walking into the kitchen.

"You're—you're not seriously thinking about Trevor Lansing's offer, right?" Logan asked.

"Of course not!" she cried, defensively, and Logan easily picked up on it.

"Lulu… you can't be serious… marrying Johnny Zacchara would be a death sentence!" he shrieked.

She always knew that Logan had a short fuse but this was completely uncalled for. There was no way that she would even consider marrying Johnny Zacchara. If she did get married, which would be highly unlikely, she would have to be so in love with the guy that she threw all common sense out the window and there was no way that Johnny Zacchara would ever make her feel that way… she didn't even think that Logan could turn her from her cynicism about matrimony.

"First of all… I'm not marrying Johnny Zacchara… you're picking a fight when there's nothing to argue about!" she yelled.

"Really? So I shouldn't be worried that you're going to cut some deal with Trevor?" Logan asked bitterly.

"I can't believe that you're doing this…" she muttered.

"And I can't believe that you would consider marrying that piece of garbage!" he fired back.

Lulu looked at Logan, completely stunned. She couldn't understand where this paranoia was coming from. She'd only seen Johnny twice and he was already feeling threatened. She would've found it to be hysterically funny if she wasn't so disturbed by his rage.

"What is this really about Logan?" she asked calmly.

"Trevor—Trevor wouldn't have proposed a marriage between you and Johnny if we were already married!" he spat.

"So this is **my** fault? Because I didn't marry you **the second** that you asked me? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, Logan Hayes!" she screamed.

"It's true…" he grumbled.

"I can't believe you…" she said and she walked right past him. She picked up her jacket that was strewn across the sofa and headed to the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I need to get away from you before we both say things that we'll regret…" she said and she slammed the door behind her.

* * *

Johnny felt at peace behind the wheel of his car. His problems, fears, and doubts seemed to just fall away as he sped down the highway. It was just him, the car, and the road. There was no strategy planning, no scheming… just him and the black asphalt. The car couldn't tell him what to do or what choice to make… the car obeyed him. If he wanted to drive all the way to Canada, it had to oblige and if he wanted to go off a cliff, it had to. He quickly swerved into a nearby parking lot near the docks and walked along the waterfront. The air was calm and quiet. Johnny enjoyed the silence as he walked.

"Are you stalking me or something?"

He looked up at the angry voice and saw that it was Lulu, leaning against the railing that kept people from falling into the harbor below. He groaned and rolled his eyes. He wanted peace and quiet so he could possibly stomach the idea of marrying her but surely all she was going to do was piss him off even more and then he wouldn't be able to think of one redeeming quality about this blonde standing before him.

"My life doesn't revolve around you, Spencer…" he muttered.

"You don't even live in Port Charles…" she snapped back.

"Ok, I don't know why the hell you're so angry at me… I was just walking through… I didn't even see you there…" he said.

"I don't have to be nice to you… I don't **like** you… I might even hate you…" she spat.

"Hate's a strong word, Lulu…" he said, clearly mocking her.

"Want to know why I hate you? Because you ruin everything… one visit from your lawyer and one little marriage proposal just made my boyfriend flip out on me! He thinks that I'm seriously considering marrying you and he's pissed because I didn't marry him…" she ranted.

"That's neither my fault nor my problem…" Johnny chuckled.

"Yes! Yes it is! This whole domino effect started because of you and your love of violence! You shot that man in cold blood! I saw you!" she shrieked.

"You have no idea what you're talking about… you don't know me at all…" he said, gritting his teeth.

For how angry he was at Lulu for implying that he was some sociopathic murderer, his voice was ice cold. Who did this girl think she was? She hadn't spent more than an hour with him and he was already a cold-blooded killer.

"You're not even denying that you were wrong…" she said.

"I don't need to explain myself to you…" he scoffed.

"Well if I married you, I'd need the whole story, right?" she asked.

Lulu couldn't believe what had just come out of her mouth. Her words had shocked both of them. She looked at him, reading his expression. His eyes were wide, silently asking her to explain what she meant. Could she really do this? Marry Johnny Zacchara to save him from going to prison for the rest of his life or possibly saving him from the lethal injection? She didn't love him. That was a given but she wouldn't have to be married to him for long, just until the cops closed the case. After that, she could walk away. There wouldn't be any messy emotional feelings to deal with. He'd get his freedom and she'd get a check. She knew that it must've sounded horrible but they would be doing each other a favor. It'd be a fair exchange.

"Are—are you saying that you—you're ok with this?" he asked. The shock hadn't worn off yet.

"I'm—I'm not sure… I'd—I'd have to think it over some more…" she stammered.

He looked away from her, clearly at a loss for words. She couldn't believe what she was considering: marrying someone that she didn't love. It went against everything that she knew and had grown up with. Her parents had been Port Charles' greatest love story and her older brothers' relationships were slowly climbing through the ranks of greatness as well. However, all of those relationships had ended badly. Lucky had married and divorced his childhood sweetheart, Elizabeth Webber all before Lulu turned eighteen and Nikolas married, divorced, and then reunited with his long time love, Emily Quartermaine only to lose her to a serial killer earlier this year.

Surely Johnny Zacchara wouldn't be the cause of her future heartaches…

"I've got to go… Logan is probably worried about me… I—I guess I'll see you around…" she said softly.

"See you," he said in a low voice.

* * *

Lulu hesitated as she stood on her doorstep with her hand on the doorknob. She had no energy to argue with Logan again after that encounter with Johnny on the docks. She inhaled sharply and opened the door. Logan was sitting at the table and sitting across from him was Trevor Lansing.

"Trevor…." She exhaled and he stood up and walked over to Lulu.

"Logan told me that you had just stepped out… I hope that nothing we discussed earlier today upset you…" he said and she heard Logan scoff behind him.

"I—I just went for a walk… to clear my head and to think…" she said, folding her arms.

"About my offer, I hope…" Trevor said, smirking.

"Yes and…" she started but she was cut off by the lawyer.

"I have this for you…" he said, pulling an envelope out of his coat pocket and handing it to her.

She looked to the envelope and to Trevor and back to the envelope. Her hands shook as she tore it open and she gasped when she saw what was in it. She was holding a check for three million dollars. She looked up at Trevor sharply, completely dumbfounded by the six zeros on the check. It would take her a lifetime to make this amount of money working at the MetroCourt. With this money, they could pay off the loan that they had for Logan's garage, buy a house, and have some money left over for Logan's tuition. This check could change their lives.

"Lulu can't be bought!" Logan growled.

"Logan… the check is for three million dollars…" she said, completely out of breath.

Logan's eyes widened and he immediately came behind her and examined the check for himself. It wasn't a joke, it was really a check for three million dollars.

"And that's just the upfront… depending on the relationship at the end of the marriage, you may even receive more money as a part of the divorce settlement…" Trevor said.

They needed this money. They were barely making do with what they were doing right now and Logan was extremely proud and wouldn't let Nikolas or Carly loan them any money. If Lulu just played house with Johnny for a few months, all of their financial woes could just disappear. Lulu swallowed hard and nodded.

"Ok… I'll do it…"


	5. A Marriage of Inconvenience

**A/N:** Thank you guys so much for hanging in there with me with this story and also Homecoming, which I am proud to say is finally done! applause For all of you who read Homecoming, thank you so much for being fantastic readers/reviewers!! Well, here's the latest chapter of this story… I hope I'm not boring you guys with this… I know it's slow but I promise that things will pick up and JoLu will start warming up to each other soon! Happy reading!!

**Chapter 5 – A Marriage of Inconvenience**

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the presence of God and this company to join John and Lesley in the holy bonds of matrimony…"

_Lesley?_ Johnny snorted, trying not to laugh. He knew that Lulu couldn't have been her real name but Lesley? He was close to exploding but Lulu's fuming glare and the justice of the peace's pause stopped him from cracking.

"Sorry…" he muttered.

Lulu rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. This was absolutely ridiculous and she couldn't believe that a stupid check for three million dollars made her do this. He couldn't even put on a poker face for their wedding and they were supposed to fool the cops? Ridiculous wasn't the right word. It was more like hopeless. Lulu looked over and saw Trevor shaking his head and couldn't help but to start laughing as well. This entire situation was hysterical. She was wearing jeans for one thing and the only thing that she had on that was white was a white wifebeater tank top underneath a tight black hoodie. He was wearing jeans too but he managed to put on a button up shirt, only slightly more dressed up than her but not by much.

"John… if you'd like to start your vows…" the justice of the peace mumbled.

The poor priest had to be terrified of Johnny and Trevor. The fact that the Zacchara name was synonymous with crime, murder, extortion, and many other things along those lines wasn't enough but the fact that Trevor woke this man up at one o'clock in the morning, ordering this man to marry her and Johnny, with the threat of violence made Lulu's skin crawl. Johnny sighed heavily and stood up straight.

"Fine…" Johnny muttered.

"Do you John, take this woman whose hand you now hold, to be your true and wedded wife; and do you solemnly promise before God and these witnesses to love, cherish, honor and protect her, to forsake all others for her sake; to cleave unto her, and her only, until death shall part you?" the justice asked.

"Yeah…" Johnny said nonchalantly and Claudia immediately hit him on the shoulder.

"Ow! What the hell?" Johnny cried and Lulu chuckled.

"Be serious, John! God, I feel like I'm supervising a six year old…" Claudia sighed.

"I said it, didn't I?" Johnny asked, rubbing the spot where Claudia had struck him.

"Can we please continue?" Trevor growled, looking straight at Johnny.

"Of course… do you Lesley, take this man whose hand you now hold, to be your true and wedded husband; and do you solemnly promise before God and these witnesses to love, cherish, honor and protect him, to forsake all others for his sake; to cleave unto him, and him only, until death shall part you?" the justice asked.

"I do…" Lulu said, not even looking up at Johnny.

"At least she said 'I do'…" Claudia muttered.

"Well then give her a freaking medal then…" Johnny snorted.

"John!" Trevor hissed.

"Sorry…" Johnny mumbled.

Johnny couldn't take this seriously and who could? They were entering this marriage not out of love and he didn't even know the first thing about her. He didn't know her parents' names, he didn't know if she had any other family, he didn't know when her birthday was and it was just laughable.

"By the power invested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife…" the justice of the peace said.

"Oh god, do we have to kiss or can we just skip that part?" Lulu said, wincing.

"Like I would ever kiss you…" Johnny muttered.

"Stop it you two! If you don't suck it up, this plan is never going to work!" Trevor barked and Claudia snickered behind the attorney.

"Alright! We get it… we know our story by heart… we met two months ago and we're head over heels in love with each other…" Johnny started.

"And then he convinced me to leave Logan and to run away with him and I tried to refuse but I couldn't fight my feelings for him any longer and we decided to get married because we didn't want to wait any longer to be together…" Lulu finished. The irritation was clear in her voice.

"Maybe there is hope for them…" Claudia said.

* * *

"You got married without me??"

Lulu groaned as she held the phone up to her ear. She knew that Carly was going to take the news of her marriage to Johnny Zacchara the worst. Not because he was a Zacchara but because she was her little cousin and Carly had been dying for Lulu to get married so that they could throw a lavish wedding at the MetroCourt.

"Carly, it wasn't like that… it was—spur of the moment… it was—romantic…" Lulu lied.

"Still! You. Got. Married. Without. Me!" Carly cried.

Lulu sighed heavily as she walked down the long hallway of the Zacchara mansion. The Zacchara guards were moving some of her things into the mansion as she spoke. Moving into the mansion made the marriage look legitimate. Trying to explain all of this to Logan almost broke her heart. He loved her so much and the fact that she was "leaving" him for another man, fake or not, was just unbearable in his mind.

"Ok, you can throw me a reception at the MetroCourt… now will you forgive me?" Lulu laughed.

"Of course… but Johnny Zacchara? I didn't even know that you knew him… and now you're—you're married to him? What's up with that?" Carly asked.

"It—It just happened so fast, Carly… I don't know… he just came out of nowhere and surprised me…" Lulu said, hoping that she was convincing.

"And you decided to get married?" Carly asked.

"Johnny and I fell for each other quickly and he wanted to get married a month ago but I was—hesitant about getting married because of how fast we were going and Logan and…" Lulu started.

"And how **does** Logan feel about this? I'm assuming that he knows…" Carly asked.

"He's upset… of course he is… I told him that I couldn't help who I fell in love with and that I didn't mean to hurt him…" Lulu said softly.

"I bet he's upset that you two went out for a while and you turned down his proposal but you've known Johnny for two months and you've got his ring on your finger." Carly said.

"Yeah…" Lulu said, uneasily, looking down at the enormous ring on her finger.

"Well, I better go… I don't want to pry you from your husband… I know how you newlyweds get when you're away from each other for too long…" Carly giggled.

Lulu forced a laugh and said goodbye to her cousin. She turned around and saw Johnny standing in the hallway, leaning against the doorway, staring straight at her.

"I hope you were convincing enough…" Johnny muttered and Lulu rolled her eyes.

"You don't tell me what to do and I'll return the favor…" she snapped back.

He opened his mouth to say something as yet another guard came in with another large box of Lulu's belongings. How much crap did this girl need to move into this house? Was she planning on staying forever? He shuddered at the thought of her staying for over a month. The sooner that this marriage could be over, the sooner that he could get on with his life.

"How much freaking stuff did you bring?" Johnny asked.

"I'm just following orders, _dear_… Trevor wanted me to move in as soon as possible and I'm just moving in all of the essentials…" she said through gritted teeth so that she wouldn't yell at him.

"Essentials for what? A small country?" He cried.

"I thought that you weren't going to tell me what to do…" she muttered as a small smirk crept across her face.

"Fine… and just so you know… we're not sharing a bedroom…" he said, folding his arms.

"Oh ew! Like I would ever share a bed with you!" Lulu cried, wrinkling her nose.

Before Johnny could fire back a mean retort, Lulu turned around and went upstairs, probably to inspect the bedroom that Trevor had set aside for her next to Claudia's room. He never thought that someone could be so infuriating but he was wrong. One of them was going to end up dead before this marriage could end.

"So I see your wife didn't waste any time with moving all of her crap…"

Johnny turned around and saw his father standing in the doorway to the study. His eyes were narrowed on his son and his hands were shoved inside of his black slacks.

"Yeah… she's got a lot of stuff…" Johnny said.

"Was that arguing I heard?" Anthony asked.

"Well that's what Lulu and I do… we argue and then we make up… it's marriage…" Johnny said, leaning against the banister of the stairs.

"John, you're my only son… and I love you…" Anthony started and Johnny rolled his eyes.

"Yeah right," Johnny muttered.

"I'm serious, John! I love you and only want the best for you… which makes me wonder about this quick marriage…" Anthony said.

"My personal life is none of your business, dad…" Johnny said.

"You're my son, I'm concerned…" Anthony said, putting his hand on Johnny's shoulder.

"Yeah, since when?" Johnny said, skeptically.

"Since you got married out of nowhere!" Anthony yelled.

He didn't buy this concerned parent routine for a second. His father never asked a question just because he was concerned about Johnny's well-being. Every single question that Anthony asked always served Anthony's best interests, not his children's or anyone else's.

"I'm not having this discussion with you right now… I don't have to prove to you or to anyone the validity of my marriage…" Johnny said.

"If I get any inkling that girl is after your money, I'll make her pay…" Anthony growled.

Anthony turned around and walked back into the study and out the door to his mother's rose garden. His father's threats never ceased to send a shiver down his spine. Even if he didn't like Lulu, he still didn't like the fact that his father was threatening her life. He sighed heavily and went upstairs to his own bedroom. Lulu was definitely in way over her head with this family.

* * *

The house was silent at night. Everyone had retreated to their rooms and the only light that flooded the house was from the pale moon. Lulu slipped out of her bedroom silently and tiptoed down the hallway, passing Claudia and Johnny's room. She assumed that they were fast asleep since no noise seeped out from behind their doors. She held onto the railing of the stairs as she crept downstairs and into the main hallway.

"You're still awake?"

Lulu jumped at the voice and turned around to see Claudia standing behind her with a sly grin in her face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you… were you trying to escape?" Claudia laughed but still in a whisper.

"No… I just—I couldn't sleep…" Lulu muttered.

"You and everyone else in this house…" Claudia said, folding her arms.

"What do you mean?" Lulu asked.

"Well, daddy doesn't really sleep… he just kind of wanders around outside in the garden until he gets tired enough… as you can see, I'm awake and John's somewhere around here… he never goes to sleep until after two o'clock in the morning… don't worry, you'll figure it out…" Claudia explained.

Lulu looked at Claudia with a scrutinizing eye. Why was she being so nice to her? She knew that Lulu was the key to keeping Johnny out of jail but she was being above and beyond cordial… she was being almost… friendly.

"Did I do something wrong?" Claudia asked, taking notice of Lulu's expression.

"No… you just… surprised me… you're just so nice and—" Lulu started.

"Johnny is a really nice guy… he's just—a little bit more cautious that's all… he's had it rough with his mom passing away so early and then I got sent away when he was younger and I didn't see him for over 12 years and then he's been in this house basically raised by Trevor and my dad and that had to wreck havoc on his psyche…" Claudia said.

"Figures…" Lulu muttered.

"Hey… give Johnny a break… this isn't easy for him either… just—just give him some time… he'll come around… I know he will…" Claudia said.

Claudia bade her goodnight and disappeared upstairs to her bedroom. Lulu continued her journey through the house. She couldn't shake Claudia's words about Johnny. How could a nice person exist underneath all of that callousness? Claudia had to be lying. She was biased because Johnny was her brother and she had to love him despite all of his flaws. She felt her feet stop as she heard what sounded like a CD playing from the living room. Her curiosity drew her closer to the music and she saw Johnny… and he wasn't where she thought he was. There was no CD. It was Johnny at the piano, playing Moonlight Sonata. It was as perfect as if Beethoven himself had been playing it. His eyes were closed and his body moved gently along with his hands as he played. He was completely lost in the music and Lulu couldn't take her eyes off him. He looked so serene and the melody was so hypnotic that she couldn't help but to be entranced by him. Maybe Claudia was right. Maybe the rough exterior really was a defense mechanism and wasn't the real Johnny because the man sitting at the piano was a stranger. She didn't know him but she could see herself wanting to know him. Lulu opened her eyes, realizing what she was thinking and about who she was thinking about and shirked away from him, leaving him undisturbed.


	6. A Glimpse into a Life

**Chapter 6 – A Glimpse into a Life**

Things had begun to settle down as the weeks rolled by. Lulu barely spoke to Johnny while they were both at the Zacchara mansion but they managed to drop into Port Charles every once in a while together, just to keep up appearances. They hadn't gotten to the point where they could comfortably touch each other like a married couple would in public but they managed to be seen together walking through the park, talking in low voices so that everyone thought that they were only paying attention to each other. However, once a week, Lulu would slip out of the house to see Logan but his increasing paranoia about the Zaccharas and Johnny in particular were pushing Lulu to the limit. She needed some time to think and she tended to think better after she visited her mother in Shadybrook.

Johnny watched Lulu fumble with her purse in the kitchen as she fished for her car keys. Her blond hair was pulled back neatly into a ponytail that hung a little bit past he shoulders. She walked around him as he sat at the kitchen island, eating a bowl of cereal, her light footsteps trailing behind him. The sweet smell of her perfume drifted towards him as she passed.

"I'll be back…" she said, not even looking up at him.

"What?" he asked, snapping out of his trance.

"I said I'll be back… I have to run an errand…" she said, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

"Are you going into Port Charles?" he asked, turning around to face her.

"No… I'll be back in a few hours though…" she said.

She walked out of the kitchen and into the garage. What was getting into him? He didn't like her. She was rude, abrasive, judgmental and snippy. He shouldn't have been noticing her perfume or how her hair gently swayed back and forth as she moved. He should look at her and be utterly repulsed. That's what she felt when she looked at him. He was certain that she despised him as much as, if not more, than he despised her.

"Odd that your wife seems to be always leaving the house without you…"

Johnny rolled his eyes as his father walked into the kitchen, carrying his favorite mug. He went straight for the coffee pot and poured himself another cup. Johnny picked up a copy of the New York Times but Anthony snatched it away from him before he could begin to read.

"I was reading that!" Johnny growled.

"And I was talking to you… I don't like your attitude, John… you treat me with respect…" Anthony said, crumpling the newspaper into a ball in his fist.

"To get my respect, you have to earn it…" Johnny spat, going back to his cereal.

"I was merely making a comment, John… you know you should really stop spending time with Claudia… she's a horrible influence on you…" Anthony said, stirring in cream into his coffee.

"Are you done?" Johnny asked.

"No… I'm not done… do you know where your wife is going?" Anthony asked, setting down the mug and folding his arms across his chest.

"Lulu is doing a few errands…" Johnny said.

"Ha… she's _doing_ something alright… she's doing _someone_ else…" Anthony growled.

"I don't ask you about your personal life therefore I expect the same courtesy…" Johnny said, walking over to the sink to wash out his cereal bowl.

"John… you trust too easily… I should know, you're my son… it was the same way that I felt with Claudia's mother… she was beautiful and she had me entranced but in the end… she was lying to me and I couldn't accept that…" Anthony said, putting his hand on Johnny's shoulder.

Johnny rolled his eyes and walked away. This marriage wasn't real so Johnny shouldn't be allowed to care where she went. He had no claim over her. They weren't committed to each other and they sure as hell weren't in love but somehow, he wanted to know where she was going too.

"I'm—going to take off too…" Johnny said, taking out his car keys from his pocket. Johnny made a quick exit from the kitchen and Anthony sat down at the table with a smirk on his face.

"Good boy…" he muttered, taking a sip of his coffee.

* * *

The drive to Shadybrook was just how Lulu wanted it: quiet, not too long but not too short. Most people went to their parents for advice but Lulu went to visit her mother to talk out her own problems because her mother wouldn't talk back. Truthfully, Lulu was glad that her mother possibly couldn't hear her because she would flip if she found out half of the things that Lulu had confessed to her.

"Good morning, Miss Spencer… are you here to visit your mother?" the attendant at the front desk asked.

"Yes I am…" Lulu said, smiling at the woman.

"Alright… enjoy your visit…" the attendant said.

Lulu thanked her and proceeded down the hall to her mother's room. She put her hand on the doorknob and pushed it open. Laura Spencer was sitting in that antique rocking chair, facing the window, her eyes wide open and blank. Lulu sat down her purse next to the door and walked over to her mother's chair.

"Hi mom…" Lulu exhaled.

She said hi to her mother every single time that she saw her, half expecting her mother to say hello back but she never did. She just sat there, completely still, staring off into space.

"Well… I have a lot to tell you since I visited last… and you may not like it…" she laughed.

She knelt down in front of her mother, taking her lifeless hand in hers. Lulu wondered if her mother could feel her somewhere deep inside. If she could feel the warmth of her hand on hers or the cold metal of the large engagement ring that was on her finger.

"I got married, mom… and I know that you would want me to have the dream wedding with the band, and the dress, and the huge cake and with everybody there but… it—ok, I can't lie to you mom… I have this deal with this lawyer that I get three million dollars to marry one of his clients in order to prevent him from going to prison and… oh my god—am I a horrible person for agreeing to do this?" she whispered.

"Saying it out loud makes me feel terrible… I'm profiting from this family's situation… I know that they approached me about it but it—it doesn't make me feel any better… but then again… Johnny… that's the guy's name… Johnny killed another human being… and it doesn't help that he's a complete jerk but—oh mom, you can probably see right through me… can't you?" Lulu asked, squeezing her mother's hand.

She wondered if she was really that readable. Of course, Johnny hadn't gone out of his way to be rude or mean to her lately and she was slowly running out of reasons to hate him. She had witnessed him interact with his sister and caught a glimpse of his soft side when he thought that no one was looking. How long was she going to last in this marriage if she began to, dare she say it, like him?

* * *

Johnny walked the long hallway of Shadybrook's main facilities, wondering what Lulu could possibly be doing. He thought that he was going to follow her to some seedy motel outside of Port Charles where Logan would be waiting for her. He could deal with that in a way because he wouldn't have been surprised but this totally threw him for a loop. He walked by every door, peeking through the window to catch a glimpse of where Lulu was.

"Ok, mom… I love you…"

Lulu's voice was soft and warm. It was different than he had ever heard her. The door swung open and hit Johnny clean on the forehead.

"Ouch!" he cried.

"Oh I'm so sor—Johnny? What the _hell_ are you doing here? Did you follow me?" Lulu hissed.

"I know that it was wrong but—" he started.

"I can't believe you! You're following me like I'm some criminal?" she shrieked.

Her eyes were blazing with fury. This was the first time that he had ever seen her truly angry. Surprisingly, he felt horrible for following her, to intrude on her visit with her mother that was in a mental institution.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know that you were visiting your mother… I—I didn't even know that she was here in Shadybrook…" he muttered.

"You're not sorry and you sure as hell don't know **anything** about my mother and why she's here…" she growled.

She turned to walk away but Johnny caught her by the wrist. A shock seemed to ripple through his hand at the softness of her skin. It was the first time that he had really truly touched her. She seemed to feel it too, looking up at him sharply, her eyes focused on his face.

"Don't be so quick to judge, Lulu… I understand… more than you know…" he said.

Johnny had convinced Lulu to come outside to talk. She had no idea why he talked her into it but they were sitting on a bench outside in the gardens of Shadybrook. The wind raked through his hair as they sat in silence for a few moments.

"My father was… _really sick_… for a long time…" he began quietly.

"What do you mean by sick?" she asked.

He looked down at his hands. His fingers twisted uncomfortably and Lulu knew that this was a hard topic for him to discuss. Lulu never really interacted with Anthony Zacchara while they lived under the same roof. Of course, she overheard him speaking to Claudia, Trevor and Johnny, separately of course, that he thought that Lulu was after Johnny's money. He wasn't completely off base with his accusations but still. There was something really unsettling about her newly acquired father-in-law.

"He was very mentally ill for most of my life… he—um—he shot and killed my mother when I was eight years old in one of his fits of rage…" he said softly.

Lulu's eyes widened at his words. His honesty hit her like a ton of bricks. She never expected to hear him open up to her. Of course, Lulu noticed that there were pictures of Johnny's mother all over the house but she never worked up the nerve to ask someone what had happened to her. She felt that it was none of her business anyway.

"I—uh—I didn't know… I'm sorry…" she said and he gave a small smile.

"Most people are… but I understand what it's like to lose a parent to their mind… it's harder to rationalize why they're not there if the reason isn't something tangible like a divorce or something else like that…" he said.

"Wow…" she muttered.

"What?" he asked, turning towards her.

"You really do understand…" she said, allowing herself to smile a little bit.

"Is this weird?" he asked.

"What?" she asked.

"Us… being… friendly to each other?" he asked.

She looked over at him and he was staring intently at her. His expression was soft but cautious, like he was treading into uncharted territories, curious to see what was ahead of him but scared at the same time. This was strange for her too. Johnny was the unknown. He was the wild card. She didn't know what to think or how to feel about him or if she should feel anything for him.

"Yeah, it is… but I like it…" she said softly.

"Me too…" he said, smiling.

* * *

Lulu found herself in a motel room off the main highway five miles away from Shadybrook. Logan would be there in a few minutes. Her heart was beating in anticipation but because of Logan's impending arrival but of her next meeting with Johnny. She couldn't get him out of her mind. She never thought that she would ever have a positive thought about Johnny Zacchara but today just blew most of her preconceived notions about him out the window. Claudia was right… maybe Johnny did have a heart buried underneath all of that brooding and attitude. Suddenly, the door swung open and Logan went straight to her.

"Hey… sorry I'm late… I took the back way to get here so no one would suspect…" Logan said, cupping her face in his hands.

Logan probably thought that this was the most romantic thing in the world, sneaking off to meet Lulu so that her husband wouldn't find out. Lulu smiled uneasily and put her hands on top of his.

"It's alright… you're here now…" she said softly.

He smiled and kissed her. His kisses were always strong, almost making her lips yield to him. She felt his hands leave her cheeks and fall to the buttons on her blouse. She winced and pulled away from him. This wasn't what she wanted, especially not when her mind was so conflicted.

"Logan… stop…" she whispered.

"Lulu… come on…" he said, pulling her back into kiss her but she turned her head sharply.

"Stop this _now_… I mean it…" she said firmly. He scoffed and let her go, backing away from her. Lulu straightened out her hair and looked up at Logan's irritated face.

"I don't understand you, Lulu…" he muttered.

"What? Just because I don't want to sleep with you?" she asked shrilly.

"Ever since you married that Zacchara… you've been pulling away from me… and I want to know why…" he demanded.

"This has nothing to do with Johnny!" she cried.

"But this has everything to do with him! If you hadn't seen him shoot that man, we would be happy!" he yelled.

She opened her mouth to argue back but she didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. She wasn't happy with him. She swallowed hard and hung her head, not knowing what to say. This was so hard. A part of her wanted to just break things off with Logan so that she wouldn't hurt him anymore. This marriage to Johnny was killing him and she cared about him enough to want to get him past his pain, even if that meant getting over her.

"I—I don't know what you want me to say, Logan…" she whispered.

"I want you to tell me that I'm not losing you… can you do that?" he asked, walking back towards her. She sighed heavily and nodded.

"You're not losing me… I promise…" she said.

He took her in his arms and held her close. What she was doing wasn't fair and she knew it but it was the only way to keep her sanity. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes. She didn't know why but for some reason, sitting in Logan's arms, at that moment, Johnny's perfect smile came to her mind.


	7. Coming Closer

**A/N: **So, this originally was going to be two chapters but I decided that the original chapter 7 that I wrote wasn't substantial enough, I decided to merge my original 7 and 8 together to make this chapter and I think it turned out better than I anticipated! Thank you guys for being such a great audience and for writing fabulous reviews for me. I absolutely love and appreciate every single one. I'm really glad that you guys are enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it. As always, happy reading and don't forget to leave a review!!

**Chapter 7 – Coming Closer**

Lulu found that she really began to start liking the Zacchara mansion. She sat in the living room every day at sunset. The room was filled with floor to ceiling windows and at sunset, the room was filled with a hazy burnt orange color and it was absolutely beautiful. She closed one of Claudia's Italian fashion magazines and sat it down next to her. A full month of wedded tolerance had passed. Ever since the day that Johnny had found her at Shadybrook, avoidance turned into tolerance and tolerance quickly melted away into respect. After Shadybrook, Lulu found herself talking to Johnny more. It surprised her how easy it was to talk to him; no heavy confiding about inner demons but just talking. Lulu sighed and stood up and crossed the room. The sun hit the black lacquer piano beautifully and she was drawn to it. She lifted the cover off and let her fingers run along the cool ivory keys. She had taken about four piano lessons when she was a kid, her mother's idea of course, before she became frustrated all together and refused to have another lesson. Her eyes went to the loose leaf sheets of music sitting on the stand. She picked up the music and read the title of the song.

"Clair de Lune… by Claude Debussy…" she read.

She smiled. It was her mother's favorite classical piece. She had a record of it that was somewhere in the closet back home. She used to put it on every Sunday as she read right before she would put Lulu to sleep when she was a little girl. She always wanted to learn how to play the piece, as a tribute to her mother. She sat the sheet down on the stand and sat down on the matching piano bench. Her fingers sat on top of the keys and her eyes went to the music.

"Crap…" she muttered.

She never learned how to read sheet music. Her hands fell to her sides, disappointed and she heard a small laugh coming from behind her. She whirled around and saw Johnny in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest and a smirk on his face.

"Having trouble?" he asked, walking towards her.

"Yeah… I just—I found this on the stand and I recognized it…" she said softly.

"You're familiar with Debussy's work?" Johnny asked, raising an eyebrow.

"My mom…" she muttered.

"Oh… I'm—I'm sorry, I didn't know…" he said quietly.

"No, it's alright… it's just that my mother loved this song… she used to play it all the time when I was little. I've always wanted to learn how to play it… you know? For my mom…" she said.

"Do you want me to show you how to play it?" he asked.

She looked up at him sharply, not believing what he just said. He smiled genuinely and sat down right next to her on the bench. His shoulder brushed against hers and she felt her heart do a double flip. She had never been this close to him before. She could smell his absolutely wonderful cologne that he was wearing and feel, however fleeting the moment was, how strong his arms were. The close proximity was unnerving and she felt like she could pass out.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She snapped out of her trance and nodded. He smiled again and put his hands on the keys. He played the first part of the song, without even looking up at the music. A content smile curved on his lips as he played. He was amazing at the piano. The way that his fingers moved across the keys were so fluid and if he made any mistakes, she would've never noticed.

"You mother has good taste… this is one of my favorites too… I have the entire thing memorized." Johnny said.

"So I see… you're—you're very good…" she whispered.

"Now it's your turn…" he said, smiling.

"I can't—not after hearing you play…" she laughed.

"Well how else are you going to learn? Here… come on… you're going to need to put your hands on the keys if you're going to play…" he chuckled.

His hands went to hers and he enclosed his fingers around her hand. All of the heat from her body quickly rushed to her face. She felt ridiculous… like a sixth grader with a crush on the unattainable eighth grader. She never noticed before but he was possibly the most impossibly gorgeous man that she had ever laid eyes on. His eyes were deep chocolate brown and carried so much intensity, no matter what he was feeling, his dark brown hair was always neatly styled up so that no hair was out of place, and his smile could melt the polar ice caps. She shook her head slightly, trying to banish all of her thoughts of her husband out of her mind. What she was thinking and feeling was insane. He gently set her fingers on the keys and positioned them so that when she pressed down, the first chord of the song echoed through the living room. She gasped and laughed softly.

"Then you move down… here…" he said, moving her fingers to the next chord.

They continued with the piano lesson. It surprised her how comfortable she felt with him sitting beside her, holding her hand. It made her nervous but in the good sort of way. His hands were so warm and soft against hers, like a blanket protecting her hand from the elements.

"See? Not so bad right?" he asked, releasing her hand.

She looked up at him and saw how close his face was to hers. She could hear him breathing softly and his eyes were locked in on hers. Her heart was about to explode right out of her chest. She knew that it was coming. She knew that he was about to kiss her. Suddenly, the living room door swung open and they both looked up sharply. Logan was standing in the doorway, his eyes widened with fury.

"Well, don't you two look cozy?" Logan hissed.

Lulu turned away as Johnny stood up and went straight for Logan. Johnny folded his arms and smiled cruelly at the intruder.

"You must be Logan…" Johnny said quietly.

"I don't want you touching Lulu… do you hear me?" Logan growled and Johnny laughed.

"What **my wife** and I do is really none of your business, Hayes…" Johnny taunted.

"She's your wife in name only, Zacchara… she's committed to me… she loves me…" Logan said.

"Being territorial isn't really attractive… I'm assuming that you're here to talk to Lulu so I'll get out of your way…" Johnny said.

He walked past Logan towards the door. He looked back at Lulu and for a split second, she thought that she saw a flicker of disappointment in his eyes. She nodded her head slightly, telling Johnny that it was ok for him to leave her with Logan. Logan watched intently as Johnny closed the door behind him. As soon as Johnny's footsteps faded away, Logan turned around to face Lulu.

"What the hell was that?" he asked.

"Nothing and what're you even doing here? You're going to blow our cover!" Lulu hissed.

"I was just making sure that this still a cover! With the way you've been acting lately, I don't think you even remember that this is a cover!" he cried.

"You're being absolutely ridiculous, Logan…" she muttered, standing up.

"Then tell me that you don't have any feelings for Johnny Zacchara!" he barked.

The words shook Lulu to her core. Was she really that transparent? Hearing someone else call her out on it made it more real. She couldn't believe that she actually was beginning to have feelings for her own husband, the man that she married for the specific reason that she would never even think about falling for him.

"I—I was wrong about Johnny…" she stammered.

"What are you saying, Lulu?" he asked.

"He's not who I thought he was…" she said softly.

"Oh really? So he's really not a sociopathic murderer? Great! Just great! Now I feel so comfortable having him around you all the time!" Logan said bitterly.

"That's not fair! You don't even know him!" she yelled.

"Do you, Lulu? Think about it… have you really spent enough time with him to say that?" he asked.

"I'm not having this argument with you right now… you need to leave before you say something that you can't take back…" Lulu said, pointing towards the door.

She could see Logan gritting his teeth. He probably had an arsenal full of horrible things to say about Johnny and his love for Lulu and his desire to please her in any way possible won out over his jealousy and he held his tongue. He nodded in agreement and strode out of the living room. She sighed heavily and ran her fingers through her blond hair. It was dark now and the moonlight shone in through the high windows, casting a pale light throughout the room. She wandered back over to the piano and absentmindedly played the first chord of _Clair de Lune_ that Johnny had just taught her. She quickly picked up her hands, as if the keys were searing hot and held them close to her chest.

_This was so not good…_

* * *

Johnny couldn't sleep. He was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling of his room. His arms were folded behind his head and his mind was in a thousand different places. His brain was working overtime but all of his thoughts, however conflicting they were, all centered around one thing: Lulu… and it bothered him because he didn't know why. He didn't know why when he closed his eyes; all he could see was her beautiful smile. He didn't know why he wanted to kiss her so badly when he was sitting with her at the piano bench and he didn't know why he cared so much about what Logan said to her about him. He rolled over to his side, glancing at his alarm clock. He groaned as the clock read 2:17 AM. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to do away with his thoughts about his wife when he heard screaming coming from Claudia's room next door. He launched himself off his bed and sprinted down the hall.

"No! Stop it! Get away from me!" Claudia shrieked.

Claudia was flailing around, her eyes were shut but there was no one attacking her. Johnny came to her bedside and wrapped his arms around his struggling sister. He knew that she was having a nightmare about her attacker. Her eyes shot open and he saw the terror in them and held her closer. She clung to him as she sobbed uncontrollably on his shoulder.

"Claudia… shhhhh… it's ok… it's alright… you're safe now…" he whispered, rocking her back and forth.

"Johnny…" she sobbed.

"He's never going to hurt you again, remember?" Johnny asked soothingly.

"He—he was coming towards me…" she panted.

"He's gone, Claudia… you were having a nightmare…" he said.

"I know but…" she started.

"Claudia… the man who attacked you is gone… I made sure that he would never come near you ever again…" Johnny reaffirmed.

Claudia opened her mouth to say something else but Johnny realized that her gaze was no longer on him but behind him. He turned around and saw Lulu standing in the doorway. Her face was one of concern and confusion. Immediately, he wondered how much of that conversation she overheard.

"I heard you screaming from down the hall… is everything alright?" Lulu asked, walking into Claudia's bedroom.

"Just a nightmare… nothing serious…" Johnny said quickly, cutting off any chance of Claudia giving out too much information.

"I'm—I'm fine, John…" Claudia said, pulling the covers close and settling back down into her bed.

"Are you sure?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah… I'm fine… it—it was a nightmare… I'll be fine…" Claudia reassured him.

Johnny nodded and stood up. Lulu stepped aside as Johnny walked past her. He then closed Claudia's door behind him and as he turned away to head back to his room, Lulu stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

"Wait…" she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"Claudia was attacked?" she asked and he sighed heavily. Of course Lulu overheard everything.

"It's not your concern…" he muttered.

"You said that you made sure that the man that hurt Claudia would never come near her again… oh—oh my god… the man you killed… did he—was he the one who attacked her?" she asked, her voice becoming shriller with every word.

"The less you know, the better off you'll be, Lulu…" he said.

"Don't try to dodge me!" she hissed.

"I'm trying to keep your hands clean of all of this!" he cried.

"So it's true? You killed that man because he attacked Claudia?" she asked quietly.

"Did you think that I could just kill somebody just for the hell of it? What the hell do you think I am?" he asked, shocked.

He was surprised how defensive he became about her perception of him. She would be a lot safer if she thought that he was a coldblooded killer and hated him forever for it. The truth would've made her see him in a better light… maybe even care about him. That was the double edged sword. He didn't want her to care because it was too dangerous for her to give a damn about him. If she felt any obligation to protect him then she would be in more danger than she could've ever dreamed of. However, at the same time, he wanted her to care because he cared about her. She was beginning to matter to him in a strange sort of way.

"I—I owe you an apology I guess then… I called you… **so** many horrible names and I didn't even know what really… I'm—I'm just so sorry, Johnny… I really am…" she said, taking his hand in hers.

The sincerity in her eyes was paralyzing and it didn't help that she was wearing a very short satin nightgown. He never pegged her for someone who wore those kinds of things to bed. The champagne colored slip hit mid-thigh and was tasteful enough that it didn't look sleazy but it was enough to make him stare. Her hair was curly and loose on her shoulders and her eyes sparkled from the dim lights in the hallway. She was just… so beautiful. It was almost painful to look at her because he knew that he would never have her. As much as he hated it, she belonged to Logan. He got to hold her small frame in his arms, he got to whenever and wherever he please and he got to kiss those beautiful full lips that his own were longing to kiss. He clasped his other hand around hers and smiled feebly down at her.

"Apology accepted…" he murmured.

He let her hand go and she told Johnny that she was going to go back to her room to sleep. His eyes followed her as she sauntered down the hallway towards her room. He had to shake this thing, whatever it was that he felt for Lulu. He had to do it if he wanted to keep his sanity in this marriage. If he let himself fall for her, that would be the end of it… and he couldn't let that happen.

* * *

Commissioner Mac Scorpio had a tough morning. He was forced to take a cold shower because his daughter, Maxie, and her boyfriend, Damien Spinelli, decided to use up all of the hot water by taking an extra long shower… together… and Robin called yet again with the latest crisis about Patrick's late hours and staying home with the baby. Mac walked into the Port Charles Police Department and immediately went towards the coffee pot.

"Commissioner?"

Mac looked up and saw Detective Lucky Spencer standing in front of him. Mac patted Lucky on the back heartily.

"Morning, Spencer… what've you got for me?" Mac asked, eyeing the file that Lucky was holding.

"We got a tip last night about a body that had been dumped about six miles outside of Port Charles…" Lucky started.

"And?" Mac asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"The victim's name is Dimitri Karpov…" Lucky said.

"Karpov? As in…" Mac started.

"As in the Russian mob kingpin Andre Karpov's nephew… he was shot and killed… his body was dumped in a nearby landfill..." Lucky said.

"Interesting… the Karpovs haven't been in Port Charles for very long… I can't imagine that they're giving Sonny and Jason any problems…" Mac muttered.

"That's not the interesting part… the bullet that was extracted from Dimitri's body… we ran a forensics analysis on it and it turns out that it's a bullet that is manufactured for a certain type of gun in Italy…" Lucky said, smirking.

"What are you getting at?" Mac asked.

"Port Charles has only one crime family from Italy, Mac…" Lucky said and the truth washed over Mac as well.

_"The Zaccharas…"_


	8. Kiss from a Rose

**A/N:** Thank you guys for such great reviews! I'm so glad that you're enjoying it as much as I am. I was surprised how long this chapter turned out to be but I love long chapters :) This one is kind of all over the place with how things turn out but never fear… there's always a method to my madness! So, with that being said… happy reading and don't forget to leave a comment!!

**Chapter 8 – Kiss from a Rose**

Lulu walked out of Shadybrook's quiet and falsely serene building and towards her car. Logan knew that she went and visited her mother every Saturday afternoon and wanted to see her. She was nervous when she pulled into the parking lot of the motel that was their meeting place. Things had been deteriorating for a while with her and Logan and she didn't know if she had the strength to keep him at arm's length anymore. Her hand shook as it reached for the doorknob. She exhaled and pushed the door open. Logan was sitting on the bed, with his head in his hands. She couldn't see his face but she knew that if she could, it would break her heart.

"Logan?" she asked softly.

He looked up at her and did not smile. His mouth was set firmly in a line and she knew that he was upset. She slowly walked over to him and knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on his knees.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

She knew that it was a stupid question to ask because clearly something was troubling him and he laughed bitterly.

"No… everything is **not** alright, Lulu… you've been distant and cold… it's like—it's like I don't even know you anymore…" he said, standing up.

"Logan…" she started.

"What? What is it this time? Is it 'Logan, stop being ridiculous'? or is it 'Logan, stop being paranoid'? I'm not blind, Lulu… nothing's been the same since the Zaccharas came into the picture… you know this…" he said.

He was right. Nothing had been the same between them since the Zaccharas entered their lives but the fractures in their relationship were already there. Logan was just too close to the situation to see them and now that he was being pushed out, he was finally able to see the cracks that had existed for quite some time.

"I'm doing this for us, remember? Three million dollars! After this is over, we're going to have the life that we talked about… you'll be able to pay off all of those school loans and then you can pay for the garage that you want to open!" she cried.

"I don't need the money to have the life that I want! I want you! You're all that I need for my life to be perfect and I don't want to share you!" he yelled.

"What do you want from me, Logan?" she asked softly. He turned around and looked at her as she sat on the floor.

"I want you to choose… me or Johnny…" he said slowly.

Tears rushed to Lulu's eyes immediately as he finished his phrase. _Choose?_ How could she? Choosing between Logan and Johnny was like choosing two equally painful ways to die. If she chose Johnny, she would never be safe from her own feelings. If she allowed herself to fall for Johnny, she knew that she would get hurt. Logan was her shield. She cared about him enough to date him but she knew that she would never love him in the way that he loved her and that made her safe. If she chose Logan, she would always wonder what would've happened with Johnny if she had taken a chance. She would agonize over it, turning herself into knots over it. Thinking about how much she wanted him would make her absolutely sick. She couldn't possibly choose...

"Logan, that's not fair…" she sobbed.

"And it's fair for me to have to share you with another man?" Logan cried.

"No…" she muttered.

"Tell me, then… do you want me or do you want Johnny?" he asked.

She opened her mouth to say something when she thought back to the night of Claudia's nightmare. Johnny had risked his life to protect his sister from the man who beat her up and tried to rape her. How could she turn her back on him now? Now that she knew the truth, she couldn't walk away from him and possibly let the cops charge him for protecting his only sister.

"I—I'm sorry, Logan… I wish I could tell you what you wanted to hear but I can't…" she cried.

Logan clenched his hand into a tight fist. She knew that this was going to hurt him but she still felt horrible for breaking his heart. He didn't say anything but he just nodded and went to the door. He stopped before he opened the door, almost half-expecting her to beg him not to go but she couldn't even look at him let alone say anything else. She was completely alone and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry too… I'm sorry that I'm not the man you really want…" Logan said bitterly.

She began to cry as he slammed the door behind him. She found herself lying on the cheap scratchy brown carpet, curled up into a ball on the floor. She hated herself for her choice. She hated that she cared too much about Johnny to see him go to prison for murder. She hated how she didn't love Logan in the way that would make her forget about any other man in the world. Most of all, she hated how she knew that she was falling for Johnny and didn't want to stop.

* * *

It was getting late and Lulu hadn't returned home from her visit with her mother. Johnny was holding his sleek black cell phone in his hand, waiting for her to call him or text him. He was never the one to worry but she left at eleven o'clock this morning and it was now a quarter to nine. He heard a car pull into the driveway and Johnny immediately went to the door but Lulu had already charged through it. Her cheeks were stained with tears and her eyes were red and glassy.

"Hey! What—what happened?" he asked, grabbing her arm.

She turned around and faced him. He had never seen her like this before. The look on her face made him want to kill whoever did this to her.

"I need a drink… a really strong drink…" she said, walking right past him and into the study. He raised his eyebrows in disbelief and followed her. He could hear her sniffing as she went through the liquor cabinet, rummaging through all of the alcohol and he caught her frantic hands in his fingertips.

"Hey… slow down… tell me what's wrong…" he said.

"What's wrong? Everything in the entire world is wrong, Johnny! And where the hell do you keep the tequila?" she cried.

"You drink tequila?" Johnny laughed.

"I'm full of surprises…" she muttered.

She finally found the tequila and went to the liquor cart and grabbed two glasses. She poured two heaping amounts of alcohol and handed one glass to him. He watched her down a shot and then pour another one. The only reason that he could think of that would make her so upset would be that she had an argument with Logan. She usually went to see him after a visit with her mother and that would explain why she was so late coming back to the mansion.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he finally asked after her sixth shot of tequila.

She was lying on her back, looking up at the ceiling, and she erupted into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Johnny raised his eyebrow, knowing that he hadn't said anything remotely funny since she started taking shots. She sat up to face him; her cheeks were pink from laughing. Even though she was completely drunk, the light in her eyes and the color in her face were absolutely stunning. She had taken her hair down after her fourth shot and the loose curls bounced with her laughter. He had never seen her, or any woman for that matter, laugh so freely before.

"This—this was not how it was supposed to happen…" she giggled.

"This wasn't how _what_ was supposed to happen?" he asked.

"You… you have ruined ab-so-lutely everything, Johnny…" she chuckled.

"How so?" he asked, trying to mask his hurt.

She crawled over to him and sat down in front of him. Her eyes were on him like a lioness stalking her prey right before the attack as she came towards him. She tried to compose herself but she just ended 

up making herself laugh even more. It was moderately amusing to see her laughing about things that weren't really all that funny.

"Ok… I went to see Logan… after I went to visit my mother in Shadybrook." Lulu started.

"I guessed that much…" he said.

The smile on her face suddenly faded away and she looked down at her fidgeting hands. He reached over and tilted her chin upward so that he could see her face. The tears were glistening brightly in her eyes again and he gently smoothed over her cheek with his thumb. She shut her eyes and let the tears roll down her cheeks silently.

"He gave me an ultimatum, Johnny… he told me I had to choose… him or you… and I—" she sobbed.

"Lulu… listen to me… what he asked was unfair…" he said softly.

"But I've been so unfair to him… isn't—isn't this what I deserve?" she asked.

"Absolutely not… listen… if you want Logan back… just call him and explain to him the entire situation… I'm sure that he'll understand…" he said, as a huge lump in his throat began to form. He didn't want her to want anybody else but if Logan was her choice, he had to stand back and let her go. She wasn't his to begin with so it wasn't his place to release her to be with another man.

"What I want? That's the problem… I can't have what I want, Johnny!" she sobbed.

"I—I don't understand, Lulu…" he said, putting his hands on her shoulders.

Her eyes were wild with emotion and she was sitting so close to him. He noticed that her hand was on his chest, clutching his thin cotton shirt. He swallowed hard and tried hard to control himself. He could feel her warm breath on his face. She was much too close.

"I can't… have… the man… I want…" she muttered, almost incoherently, as she inched closer towards his face.

He knew that he should've backed away or turned his head at the last moment but he was paralyzed. Her fingertips were gently touching his lips and his breath became even shallower. It took every ounce of willpower to not pin her down on that floor and let his desire completely take over his rationale but he couldn't account for hers. He felt her delicate fingertips wrapped around the side of his face and she locked his mouth in the most dizzying kiss that he had ever experienced. As he thought about how he dreamt about kissing her, it was nothing like how he imagined… it was even better. Her lips were so soft against his and so gentle and the feeling of her in his arms was better than anything that he had ever known. His hands came slowly up her thighs and to her waist as her hands held his face. He was sure that no other woman in the world could, or would, make him feel this way with one simple kiss. She slowly broke away from his lips and opened her eyes to look at him. Her hands were on his shoulders, grasping at the collar of his shirt, and they both struggled to regain control of their breathing.

"I shouldn't have done that…" she gasped.

She pressed a hand to her forehead and he saw her eyes flutter. He caught her and helped her to her feet. The alcohol was definitely catching up to her. He swept her up into his arms and she buried her face in his chest. He sighed heavily and carried her upstairs to her bedroom. He had one of the guards pull back her covers for him and Johnny gently placed Lulu into the bed. She was out cold and a sad smile crept across his lips as he brushed a few stray blond hairs from her face. Her unhappiness was evident in her episode downstairs. He bent over and kissed her tenderly on her cheek. She didn't want him… she wanted Logan and if he cared about her as much as he said that he did, he would let her go.

* * *

Lulu turned over onto her side and winced as the sun hit her eyelids and a searing pain shot through her forehead. She was never going to drink tequila ever again. She looked over to the nightstand and saw a water bottle and two aspirin and smiled.

"Johnny…" she muttered.

Her memory was fuzzy from the alcohol last night but the last thing that she remembered was kissing Johnny. She sat up slowly and noticed that she was still dressed in her clothes from the night before and deduced that she in fact, thankfully, did not sleep with Johnny last night. If she ever did sleep with him, she would hope that she would be sober enough to remember the act. She downed the painkillers and a large swig of water and changed clothes. She wanted to kick herself for falling apart last night and basically blurting out her feelings for Johnny and then throwing herself at him. She started towards the kitchen when she heard the piano in the living room. She quickly turned around and went straight towards the music. Johnny was sitting at the piano, playing a song that she didn't recognize. His eyes were closed and his brow was furrowed across his face, trying hard to concentrate. She rested the side of her head on the entryway and watched him. She assumed that he made a mistake and he angrily shut the cover over the piano keys and buried his face in his hands.

"Don't take it out on the poor piano…" she chuckled.

He looked up at her sharply. His eyes were wide like he had just seen a ghost. She smiled at him and walked over to the other side of the grand piano, never taking her eyes off him. She wished that she could read his mind, hoping that he didn't feel too weird being around her after their kiss last night.

"Doesn't look like you have a horrible hangover…" he muttered.

"Oh I do… I can just grin and bear it... what were you just playing?" she asked.

"Gershwin… Rhapsody in Blue… I've been trying to teach myself how to play it but it's just so damn hard…" he groaned, staring at the piano.

"You sounded great to me…" she said softly. He looked back up at her and laughed slightly.

"Thanks…" he mumbled.

"So… I'm really sorry about last night… I think that was more of the tequila talking and not me…" she apologized.

"I figured… and there's no reason to apologize… you were upset about Logan… I understand… in fact… I have something for you that'll help…" he said, standing up.

He had something to help her with her problems with Logan? Did he have one of Cupid's arrows stashed away in the house that would make her fall in love with Logan and completely forget about Johnny? Because that would be the only way that he could help her with her problems with Logan. He picked up a folder that was sitting on top of his desk and walked back over to her. Without saying anything, he handed the folder to her and she opened it up and her heart stopped as she read the papers inside.

"Divorce papers? That's your solution? You want me to divorce you?!" she cried.

Having Johnny hand her those papers was like a sharp knife to the stomach. Pain shot throughout her entire body and she struggled to stand upright. This was too much to bear. She knew that given the chance, Johnny would hurt her because of the feelings that she was starting to have and sure enough, she was right. She had made the wrong choice.

"I—I thought that it would be best… you'll still get the full amount that was promised… and you don't have to worry about me, Lulu… I can handle the cops on my own…" he said.

The tears rushed to her eyes and she quickly turned away from him and covered her mouth with her hand. There was no way that she was going to break down in front of him over this. She promised herself that she would never be reduced to this over a man and she wasn't going to break her promise now and especially not for Johnny Zacchara. He didn't want her and that was fine. She was going to be fine without him. She turned back around to face him, setting her face to one of cool indifference.

"I don't want any of your stupid money… and you know what? You almost had me fooled… thinking that you were really some nice guy but everyone was right about you… you really are a cold and heartless bastard and marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life…" she growled in a low but harsh voice.

"Lulu…" he sighed as she turned away from him.

He reached for her wrist as she began to walk away and he opened his mouth to say something. She was too furious with him to see the conflict in his eyes. She then snatched her hand away from him.

"Don't you ever touch me again…" she spat.

She went straight up to her bedroom and slammed the door behind her. Her entire body shook as she began to cry uncontrollably, slowly sliding down to the floor. She felt like someone was twisting that knife in her stomach and she didn't know how to make it stop. She crawled towards her bed and pulled out her suitcase from underneath. She cried as she packed as many things of hers as she could into her bags. As soon as she stripped all of the drawers of her clothing and stuffed every possible personal item into her bag, she scrolled through her contacts and called Carly.

"Lulu? Is that you?" Carly asked.

"Yeah… it's me… listen, I need a favor…" Lulu sniffed into the phone.

"Have you been crying? Lulu? What's the matter?" Carly asked.

"I'm fine, Carly… really… can you set up a room for me at the MetroCourt? I need to get out of here…" Lulu said.

* * *

Johnny was standing outside of Lulu's door, debating whether he should go in and talk to her or not. He held his hand up to knock but then it fell to his side as soon as he thought that she didn't want to see him. How could she want to see him? She called him the biggest mistake of her life. He sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair. He was a fool. He was pining for a woman who didn't want him… who hated him even.

"John? Are you ok?"

Johnny looked up and saw Claudia standing next to him. She smiled warmly at him and put her hand on his shoulder. He couldn't even fake a smile and turned back to the door.

"I'm guessing that's a 'No, not ok'…" Claudia chuckled.

"No… I'm really not ok, Claudia…" he sighed.

"Let me guess… problems with the wife?" Claudia laughed, motioning towards the door.

Johnny said nothing and Claudia went to the door and knocked briskly. However, there was no response. She knocked again and after the third attempt, Claudia opened the door. Johnny's eyes widened when he saw the room in complete disarray. Drawers were half open and some were completely taken out and the bed was unmade. He looked around and noticed that he couldn't find any of Lulu's things in the room. He walked over to the bed and sat down, completely in a daze.

_She was gone._

"John? John! Hey! Look at me!" Claudia yelled.

He didn't want to look up at his sister. He put his hands over his head and exhaled deeply. She was gone and she wasn't going to come back. He should've been relieved. She was going to be safer and happier without him. She would be with Logan, the man that she truly wanted, and she wouldn't be dragged into this entire mess with the police if it ever came down to it… but it didn't make him any happier.

"John… Lulu's fine… her guard just sent me a text message… she's at the MetroCourt, checking in…" she said.

"She's going to divorce me…" he mumbled.

"What? Why?" she cried.

"Because I gave her divorce papers… I thought that's what she wanted…" he said, not even bothering to look up at Claudia.

"You think she wanted out of the marriage?" she asked.

"She wants Logan… and who am I to stand in the way of that?" he sighed unhappily.

"Wait… John… do you—do you have feelings for Lulu?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter what I feel…" he said.

"Like hell it doesn't! If you want her, you need to march right over to that hotel and tell her!" she said.

She came over to him and knelt down in front of him. She put her hands on his knees and stared straight back into his eyes. He was glad that she wanted to help but there was nothing that she could do. There wasn't anything that anyone could do.

"I can't…" he said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because she doesn't want me…" he muttered.

"You don't know that…" Claudia said.

"Yes I do…" he lamented.

"Look, John… give her some time to cool down and then go over there and tell her the truth… maybe—maybe she's just as stubborn as you are… and that'll make you absolutely perfect for each other… you'll both drive each other crazy…" she said, laughing.

Johnny thought about his sister's words. He didn't think he had it in him to ask Lulu point blank how she felt about him. He couldn't help but to laugh at the irony of the situation. He had no problem jumping off buildings but just talking to one girl made him tremble with fear. Either way, did he really want to know what she felt? Could he really stand there and have her reject him again? He didn't know if he could take it… but what if she felt the same way and he never knew? Could he go on living his life without knowing? Wondering every single day what would've happened if he had just asked her outright? What would be worse? He stood up and went to the door.

"Where are you going?" Claudia asked, turning around to face her brother.

"I have to know…" he said softly.


	9. The Fallout

**A/N:** So, good news and bad news… the good news is that I'm back at school! Yay! Bad news is that updates will most likely slow down for this story… of course this doesn't mean I'm going to leave you guys!! So don't sweat it… I'm going to do my best with getting chapters up but the gap between chapters will probably increase. So, with that said… happy reading and don't forget to leave a comment!!

**Chapter 9 – The Fallout**

Lulu swiped her keycard into the door and pushed it open. She threw her purse onto the nearby couch and slumped into a heavenly plush armchair. Sure, a deluxe suite at the MetroCourt wasn't going to take away the pain of rejection but it was definitely a start. She couldn't bring herself to sign the papers right then and there but she had them in her purse. A part of her wanted to shred those divorce papers into tiny pieces and burn them in the fireplace that was sitting right across from her and pretend that they didn't exist and that Johnny never gave them to her but that wouldn't make the pain go away. There was a knock on the door and Lulu went to the door, half hoping that Johnny had followed her to the hotel and half hoping that it wasn't him so that she wouldn't be tempted to slam the door in his face.

"Lulu? It's Carly… open up!"

Lulu sighed heavily and opened the door. Carly immediately took her cousin's arm and dragged her over to the couch.

"You're going to tell me what's wrong, right now." Carly demanded.

"I'm fine, Carly… I really am…" Lulu said.

"Bull… you were crying on the phone… are you going to tell me what's wrong or am I going to have to beat it out of you?" Carly asked and Lulu managed to laugh.

"I'm fine…" Lulu insisted.

"Then why did you move out of the Zacchara mansion? Trouble in paradise already?" Carly asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Carly, you're my cousin and I love you… but I'm not having this discussion with you…" Lulu sighed, curling her legs underneath her.

"Was the fight that bad?" Carly asked in a low voice.

"I didn't say that… it's like—it's just what Johnny and I do… we argue, we make up, and we argue some more… it's… marriage." Lulu said, looking at her cousin.

"Are you… _happy_ with Johnny?" Carly asked.

She thought about Carly's words. She knew that the way that Johnny made her feel was different than any other that she had ever known. He sent her pulse ablaze and her breath shallow whenever he was near her. He made her want to forget all of the pain and hurt that she had experienced in relationships 

and take a dive off a cliff into the unknown. A small smile managed to creep across her face. No, she wasn't happy with Johnny… but she was pretty damn close.

"Thanks for being so concerned, Carly… really… I appreciate it…" Lulu said, looking up at Carly.

"Ok, I see you still don't want to talk about it… so is there anything that I can do?" Carly asked.

"Call up room service? Pepperoni pizza and chocolate ice cream…" Lulu said, with a devious smile.

"So you want to dodge questions **and** get me fat? Nice… Pepperoni? You better let me have some…" Carly said, reaching over for the phone to place their order.

* * *

Andre Karpov stood on his balcony of the MetroCourt hotel. The new house that he purchased just outside of Port Charles was having some renovations done before he and his staff could move in so he was stuck in the penthouse suite of the MetroCourt Hotel. He thought that it was odd that Port Charles was the main hub of "business" in the United States and not another larger American city but he wanted to establish a presence in America so he would have to make do. Once he no longer needed to be so close to the operations, he would move to Manhattan. His lawyer, and occasional mistress, Sasha, loved the Manhattan nightlife and if he wanted to keep her around while he was working, he had to keep her entertained. Sasha walked into the living area of the suite, her blackberry pressed to her ear, speaking in Russian. Andre walked towards her and ran his large and powerful fingers through her immaculate blond hair.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"That was our informant at the Port Charles Police Department… they have a lead in Dimitri's murder…" she said.

Andre sighed heavily. Dimitri was his older brother's son. Andre, however, never particularly cared for Dimitri. He had a bad temper and he had been a trouble maker for the entirety of his young life, like his father, but he was still family and in the business, family counted for everything, even when a relative wasn't a favorite.

"What's the lead?" he asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"They think that a member of the Zacchara family killed Dimitri… and I know that you never particularly cared for Dimitri but—" she began.

"But what?" he asked, annoyed.

"If you do not retaliate against the Zaccharas, our organization might be perceived as being weak…" she said, threading her arm through his.

"Fine… what can we use?" he asked, turning to face her.

"Anthony Zacchara treasures his son, John Zacchara. Perhaps that would be the strongest message to send…" Sasha suggested, deviously.

"And how do you propose we target this John Zacchara?" he asked.

"His wife just checked into the hotel… I have shooters planted around the front of the building as well as the warehouses that the Zaccharas own in Port Charles… unless if he decides to stay inside of the mansion, John Zacchara will be dead by nightfall…" she said.

* * *

Johnny pulled into the parking lot of the MetroCourt Hotel. He knew that he should've waited at least until the next morning, to let Lulu calm down from her highly emotional state but he couldn't wait another second. He probably broke all of the traffic laws known to man, trying to get to the hotel as fast as possible. He went over one hundred miles per hour on the main highway from Crimson Pointe into Port Charles, ran three traffic lights and stopped for no stop signs. He was out of his mind. There was absolutely no logic to what he was doing. He was speeding to the hotel where his wife was staying, a wife that probably didn't love him and wanted nothing to do with him… but he didn't care. His phone began to ring, waking him from his rationalizing.

"Hello?" Johnny answered.

"John? Where the hell are you?"

Johnny groaned at the sound of his father's barking.

"I'm out, dad… I'll be back later…" Johnny said, rolling his eyes.

"Claudia told me that you and your little wife are having problems… is that true?" Anthony asked in his bitter teasing tone.

"I'm just about to go talk to her, dad… I'm sitting in the parking lot of the hotel that she's staying." Johnny said, unbuckling his seat belt.

"Listen to me Johnny… don't let Claudia or Trevor convince you to stay with that girl if you don't want to… we can figure out a way to get rid of her and not have to give up half of your money…" Anthony said.

His father's words always made Johnny's skin crawl. Everything that man said was a threat and Johnny didn't like how he was talking about 'getting rid' of Lulu. There was just something so ominous and deadly about the way that his father spoke and if Anthony went anywhere near Lulu, he would have to answer to Johnny.

"I'll keep that in mind, dad… I'm hanging up now, ok? Bye." Johnny said, angrily snapping his phone shut.

He slid out of the car, shoving the phone into his pocket. He looked up at the towering building and laughed to himself. This was where he and Lulu first met, standing on the edge of the roof of the hotel, wanting to jump… wanting to feel the rush of the wind on his face… wanting to feel alive. Then there she was… beautiful and perfect… loud, obnoxious, and condescending… but absolutely perfect. A lot can change in a few short months. He began to walk towards the lobby, his hands inside his pockets. What 

was he going to say to her when she opened the door? Would she even open the door when she found out that it was him? Suddenly, a man at the valet nearly ran into Johnny with a sleek black Cadillac.

"Hey watch where you're going!" the valet yelled.

Johnny laughed and turned around to apologize to the valet for wandering blindly through the driveway of the hotel. He looked down at the white shirt that he was wearing and saw a red sniper dot and he snapped his head up but it was too late. The shooter had already fired and Johnny felt the bullet pierce his stomach, like a fiery hot sledgehammer. The people surrounding him began screaming and scrambled to get inside. Johnny winced and fell to his knees. His hands were slippery from the amount of blood that he was losing.

"Sir? Sir! Are you alright?" the now panicked valet asked him.

Johnny collapsed to the cool brick in front of the lobby doors and shut his eyes. He was so weak, probably from the blood loss. His hearing seemed to go in and out. He heard someone shrieking at another to call an ambulance. He tried his hardest to keep holding on but he couldn't help but to surrender to the darkness that was pulling him away.

"_Lulu…"_

* * *

Lulu shivered as a sudden gust of wind from the open balcony door rushed by her. Maybe she would ask Carly for a downgrade to a smaller room tomorrow morning. She had never felt so alone in her life and having a room as large as the bottom floor of the house that she grew up in made her feel even more alone. The Port Charles skyline glowed hazily from the balcony, only letting a glimmer of light pour into the room. It reminded her of being in the living room back at the mansion, with Johnny and the moonlight. She shook her head slightly. She wasn't going to do this. She wasn't going to think about Johnny. **He made his choice**. He wanted the divorce and that was final and why should she stay married to someone who didn't want to be married to her? Suddenly, there was a knock on the door that startled Lulu.

"Who is it?" she called.

"It's Logan…"

Her eyes widened at the sound of his voice. What could he possibly want and how did he know that she was staying here? She stood up and crossed the room to the door. She slowly opened the door and allowed him to come in.

"This is… unexpected." Lulu said.

"I know… I just couldn't get you off my mind…" he started.

She crossed her arms uncomfortably as he came towards her. He reached for her cheek but she quickly turned away. She stepped back and looked back up at him.

"Logan… stop…" she muttered.

"I'm here to apologize, Lulu… I was wrong, ok? I know that I was wrong and I wasn't being fair and—" he began.

"Logan… I never asked for an apology… you were honest about how you felt… I'm not angry with you for being honest…" she said.

"I shouldn't have asked you to choose…" he whispered.

He came close to her, gently lifting her chin up towards his face. She knew that he was about to kiss her and she was doing nothing to stop him. She had no reason to stop him. Her marriage to Johnny was pretty much over and Johnny was practically shoving her into Logan's arms with the divorce papers. What was stopping her from trying to salvage what was left of her with Logan? There was no logical reason to get back together with Logan. He was good enough for her, she thought. He was kind and didn't ask for much, with the exception of that ultimatum, but he was as good of a choice as she would probably ever find. Her bottom lip trembled and she shirked away from his lips. This was so wrong… he wasn't the one that she wanted and she couldn't deny it any longer.

"Logan… you know that this isn't a good idea…" she finally whispered, inches away from his face.

"Do you always have to be such a mood killer?" he chuckled bitterly.

"I'm serious… this doesn't change anything…" she said.

"Like hell it doesn't…" he said, his voice gruff with emotion.

With that he plowed his lips down onto hers. Lulu stood there like a statue, unresponsive to his overzealous declaration. He tried with all of his might to get her to feel something but she remained unmoved. The more he tried, the more upset she got, realizing that she wasn't kissing the man that she wanted to kiss. Everything was completely wrong about Logan's approach. He wasn't gentle but domineering with his lips, trying to coerce her into feeling something that she didn't. She didn't want to say the words outright but Logan quickly pulled away, knowing that it was too late…

_He was too late…_

"You're not in love with me…" he said sadly.

"No," she breathed, opening her eyes.

Lulu looked at Logan's face and he looked as if someone had just punched him in the stomach. She knew that she was leading him on with how she had been acting for the past few months but she couldn't lie anymore. She owed him that much.

"Do you love Johnny?" he asked. The bitterness was clearly defined in his voice.

"Why does it have to be all or nothing, Logan? Just because I don't love you doesn't mean that I'm in love with somebody else…" she said.

"It's just a question, Lulu…" he muttered.

"I—I don't know, ok? I just know that he makes me feel—you don't want to hear this…" she began.

"If you're not sure how you feel about Johnny then maybe you're confused about your feelings for me… maybe—maybe you just need some time to think about us…" he said, grasping her hands.

She squeezed his hands gently but shook her head. There was no way to sugar coat this and he was trying his best to hold on when there was no hope for them. She loved him enough to want to see him happy and she knew that she would never make him happy, not in the way he deserved. She looked up at him and smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry… but my mind's been made up for a while now and even if Johnny weren't a part of the equation, we would still be having this conversation… I just—I just need to be on my own right now… ok?" she asked, putting a hand on his cheek.

He nodded slowly and she knew that he was going through an insurmountable amount of pain but she felt that she owed him the truth. She respected him enough to tell him the truth and to let him go to find his way, without her. She walked Logan to the door and he kissed her sadly on the cheek goodnight. Letting him go was a lot easier than she thought it was going to be but she was even more terrified. She truly was alone now. She curled back up onto the plush armchair in the living room. She had no Logan to run and hide behind and she was exposed to every single heartbreak that she could imagine.

Suddenly, the sharp crack of gunfire sent a jolt through Lulu's body and she sat up with a start. She went to the balcony and heard ambulances and police cars weaving through the downtown traffic towards the hotel. By growing up in a town where there was a strong presence of organized crime, the sirens didn't faze Lulu but she didn't hear the sirens grow fainter as they headed towards the docks, where most crimes in Port Charles occurred. Instead, they stayed stagnant and loud at the bottom of the building. She walked towards the door, swooping up her room key that was sitting on the end table next to the couch. Maybe this was a fire drill that she knew nothing about. She was about to leave the room to go check in with Carly to see if everything was alright when a furious knock came to the door. She opened it and recognized that it was Detective Harper from the PCPD. He was a friend of her brother Lucky.

"Harper… what are you doing here?" she asked.

"There's been a shooting downstairs…" Harper said.

"I thought I heard a gunshot… are—are you doing an evacuation or something?" she asked, startled.

"Lulu…" he said, his voice grave. She knew that tone. It was the tone that all people adopted when they had to tell someone horrible news.

"What? What is it, Harper? Tell me!" she shrieked.

"It's—it's your husband, Johnny… he's been shot… he's on his way to General Hospital…" he said.


	10. Confessions

**A/N:** Alright… so now that I'm all settled in my dorm (yay!) and I've had my first day of classes (ugh…) I'm going to put as much time into this story as possible. Also I figured that I'd treat you guys to a longer chapter (the longest one to date for this story) :) Thank you guys for being the best reviewers and being so patient with this story! Anyway, happy reading and don't forget to leave a comment!

**Chapter 10 – Confessions**

Lulu's mind was in a fog as she rode to the hospital in Harper's squad car. She couldn't find the energy within her to speak, move, or even blink. All she could hear were Harper's words, over and over again, about Johnny's shooting. According to Harper's rather detached report, Johnny was walking towards the lobby when a sniper who was positioned across the street took a shot. Harper couldn't give Lulu an idea of if Johnny would be alright because he "wasn't a doctor" but he was adamant about the fact that the PCPD was going to find out who did this to him.

"Lulu? We're at General Hospital… do you need me to walk you in?" Harper asked as he pulled into the driveway of the hospital.

Lulu shook her head slowly and unbuckled her seatbelt. She stepped out of the car and began walking towards the emergency room entrance. The blaring sirens didn't seem to have any effect on Lulu as she continued into the hospital, completely in a daze.

_How could this happen?_

She found an empty chair and felt her legs collapse and she sank into the chair. She didn't understand how this could be... how Johnny's life could possibly be over. She knew that she had to be optimistic and that she was going to make herself sick over the possibility that he might die. She exhaled sharply and wiped her eyes. She didn't even notice that she had already started crying like he was already gone and she shook her head.

"No…" she exhaled.

He wasn't gone. He couldn't be. Her lips began to tremble and a small whimper escaped her lips. He couldn't leave her. If he died, he would never know what he meant to her and that would be worse than waking up each day, knowing that he wasn't in her life anymore.

"Lulu!"

She perked up and saw Claudia coming towards her. Claudia's eyes were wet with tears as well and she threw her arms around Lulu. Claudia never struck Lulu as someone who would get emotional but after everything that Johnny had done to keep her safe, it wasn't too hard to imagine that Claudia was afraid of losing her brother because of something that happened to her. Trevor and Anthony soon followed behind Claudia, yelling at each other.

"Who the hell did this to my son, Trevor? I want to know so I can kill him myself!" Anthony roared.

"Tony, just calm down! Let's focus on John right now, ok?" Trevor yelled back.

"Don't tell me what to do! Don't tell me to calm down! I'll be as angry as I want to be! My son… my only son was shot like a dog going to see this one right here!" Anthony screamed, pointing at Lulu.

"Daddy! Stop! Don't put this on Lulu! This isn't her fault!" Claudia yelled, whirling around on her father, pushing Lulu behind her.

"How can you take her side? She's just after John's money and you know that! You don't care about Johnny and you never have! You're just a vindictive little bitch… just like your mother!" Anthony roared.

"That's enough!"

The four of them turned around to see Nurse Epiphany Johnson standing in the middle of their argument. She had a clipboard in one hand and her other was balled up into a fist like she was ready to punch someone if they stepped out of line.

"This is a hospital! People are _sick and dying_… I know you're all worried about John but this is not the way to show it! Now… go and sit down… the doctors are working hard to save John's life… if I hear another peep out of any of you, I will have hospital security kick you out and ban you from this hospital! Do I make myself clear?" Epiphany asked sternly. They all nodded silently and Claudia and Lulu sat on one end of the ER while Anthony and Trevor went to the opposite side.

"Were—were you there when it happened?" Claudia asked and Lulu shook her head.

"I was upstairs in my room… and I heard gunfire outside and sirens but I didn't really think much of it… then Detective Harper came up to my room and told me that Johnny had been shot downstairs…" Lulu said.

"Oh my god…" Claudia muttered as she buried her head in her hands.

"Why was he even at the MetroCourt?" Lulu cried.

"He was looking for you!" Claudia exclaimed.

"W—What? Why?" Lulu stammered.

Claudia opened her mouth to explain but she fell silent as Epiphany beckoned her over to the nurses' station. Claudia grabbed her jacket and sprinted over to the nurse and Lulu followed close behind.

"Is there any word on my brother?" Claudia asked.

"Yes, your brother is out of surgery… he—he lost a lot of blood but the doctors think that he's going to make a full recovery…" Epiphany said.

"Oh thank god…" Claudia exhaled.

"Are the doctors allowing visitors?" Lulu asked.

"Yes… but one at a time… the doctors had to use a lot to sedate him so he won't wake up for a while… so if you would rather wait for him to be conscious—" Epiphany began.

"I don't care… I need to see my brother…" Claudia insisted.

"Alright… he's right down the hall… I'll go pass along the information to your father…" Epiphany said. She walked over to the aging mobster and his attorney and began giving them an update on Johnny's condition.

Claudia took Lulu by the hand and they went down the hallway towards Johnny's room. Lulu's heart began to race. She didn't really think that she should go see Johnny. She never paid any attention to Anthony Zacchara's psychotic ramblings but there was a shred of truth to what he was ranting about. This was her fault. Johnny had been on his way to see her and was shot. How could she face him? They reached Johnny's room and Lulu tensed up as Claudia tried to pull her into his hospital room.

"I can't…" Lulu whispered, shaking her head.

"What do you mean you can't?" Claudia asked.

"Johnny needs you… I—I won't be any help…" Lulu said.

"Lulu, my brother is—complicated… he may talk tough but… he—" Claudia started but she seemed to be holding back something.

"What, Claudia?" Lulu asked, holding her hand.

"Johnny needs you… just… please… go and sit with him…" Claudia begged.

The look in Claudia's eyes was nothing short of desperate. She loved her brother so much and for some misguided reason, Claudia thought that Johnny actually needed her. Lulu swallowed hard and nodded. Claudia held the door open for Lulu and closed it behind her, probably looking out for any sign of Anthony. The room was dark, only lit up from the various hospital machines that were hooked up in some way to Johnny's body. She felt herself walking towards his bedside, noticing how calm and serene he looked as he was lying there. He was so still and quiet. His chest rose and fell with his breathing and his arms lay still at his side.

"Johnny…" she whispered.

Her voice broke as she whispered his name but her hand never faltered as she reached out and touched his face softly. She smoothed over the light creases in his forehead and let her fingers fall to his lips. The tears rushed to her eyes and she pressed her lips to his forehead.

"I'm—I'm so—so—sorry, Johnny …" she sobbed.

Her lips grazed over his forehead as she cried. He said nothing, only his soft breathing passed over his lips. She never thought that it would come to this. She was so concerned with pushing him away that she never thought of the agony that would follow if he had been taken away from her. It was like someone reached into her chest and was squeezing her heart until it felt like it was going to burst. She instinctually took his strong hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. Her eyes fell to his perfect face: his perfectly sculpted face, his messy dark brown hair, his smooth skin and his soft and kissable lips. She was too preoccupied with Johnny's condition to censor her own thoughts. Her fingertips ran over his shut eyelids and then ran over his lips again as her own longed to taste his.

"I have… a lot to be sorry for… for the way I yelled at you at the house and all of those horrible things I said… but I—I want to tell you that I'm sorry for how screwed up my mind is… in my mind, I married you for all of the right reasons but wanted to divorce you for all of the wrong reasons… I married you because I couldn't possibly see myself falling for you and I thought that if I married you, I could figure out what I really wanted and if Logan was what I really wanted… I just—I never thought that you would be the answer to all of my questions… " she whispered.

She took a long breath and squeezed his hand tighter. She needed him to wake up and hear her. Her brilliant plan to avoid love at all costs had failed miserably. She bent over and kissed his hand as more tears streamed down her face.

"And the truth is… that scared me… so I wanted to run as far away and as fast as I could… divorcing you was to protect myself, Johnny… because—because I'm—_I'm falling in love with you, Johnny_… do you hear me? You're the only one that I want… so I need you to wake up… so we can have a real shot at making this work because—because **I need you**…" she cried.

This was the most honest conversation that she had ever had with Johnny. She could barely admit her feelings to herself and now here she was, baring her soul to the man that she loved. She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand and looked back at her husband. She would've given anything for him to open his eyes, smile at her and hear him tell her that he felt the same way but he laid still and silent beside her.

"I—I—um—I should go… Claudia is probably dying to sit with you so I'm going to go and find her…" she muttered as she stood up.

She began to walk towards the door but she couldn't find the strength to leave him there. She couldn't leave him like this. There had to be something that she could do. At that moment, she whirled back around to face him and she rushed back over to him, taking his face in her hands and kissing him. She kissed him so fiercely that there was no way that he couldn't have felt it. She knew that he lay dormant somewhere inside of his body and that part of him felt that kiss. Her lips lingered for a moment near his, waiting for his response but he remained silent and unmoved by her powerful declaration. A lone tear drop from her face splashed onto his cheek and she realized that she was truly alone.

* * *

Claudia watched as Lulu buried her face into her brother's chest and sighed heavily. It was a shame that Johnny had everything that he wanted but wasn't awake to see it. Lulu thought that no one was watching but it was plain to see how she felt about her brother. Suddenly, she felt a strong hand on her shoulder. She gasped but saw that it was the hand of Trevor Lansing and rolled her eyes. She shrugged his hand off her shoulder and folded her arms across her chest. She didn't want to be comforted by him of all people, given their history.

"We need to talk…" he said.

"Later… I'm waiting for Lulu to be finished with John so I can sit with him…" Claudia muttered.

"The man that Johnny killed… his name was Dimitri Karpov…" Trevor said, ignoring her request to hold off the discussion. Claudia's eyes widened and she whipped around to face her attorney.

"He's—he's a Karpov?" she stammered.

"Andre Karpov's only nephew…" he said.

"Damn it…" she hissed.

"Exactly… and I wouldn't be surprised if they had an informant in the PCPD and they've got access to information about the investigation that may lead back to this family… it wouldn't be that much of a stretch to think that they've retaliated…" he said, motioning to Johnny's body lying in bed.

"So we have some major damage control to do with the Karpov organization…" Claudia said.

"I've already set up a meeting… so please… don't do anything that'll come back to haunt us later…" Trevor said.

She turned back to the window and continued to watch over Johnny, protectively like a mother bear to her cub. Hadn't he paid enough for protecting her? He already risked his freedom to make sure that she was never to be harmed again by Dimitri and now because of his act of protection, she almost lost her brother.

"Claudia!"

She rolled her eyes as she heard her father's booming voice and turned around to see him, with his eyes narrowed on her. She pressed her hands to both sides of her temples and sighed heavily. Could he have worse timing? She really didn't have the energy to stomach his insults and patronizing tonight… not with Johnny recovering from a serious gunshot wound.

"Yes, Daddy?" she asked, turning towards him.

"Claudia… you're my only daughter and—" he started.

"If you say that I'm your only daughter and you love me, I swear to god I will kill you myself… you don't give a damn about me…" she muttered.

"I was just going to say that because you're my only daughter, I know you… and I know when you're keeping something from me… so are you going to tell me or do I have to beat it out of you?" her father demanded.

Her eyes began to water as she turned back around to the window to her brother's room. She watched as Lulu ran her fingers through Johnny's hair and gazed at him longingly. This wasn't fair. Johnny didn't deserve this. He had grown up with their father and Johnny had managed to turn out to be a compassionate person, rejecting the violence that accompanied the Zacchara family name. This wasn't supposed to happen to him. If anybody should've been lying in that hospital bed with a gunshot wound, it should've been her.

"John doesn't deserve this… it should be me…" she muttered.

"You're right… it should be you… but it wasn't my choice… someone chose to target my son… and this incident, apart from your usual and unnatural attachment to John, has you in complete hysterics… what's going on?" Anthony asked, raising his eyebrow.

"It's my fault, daddy… I—I didn't—I couldn't…" she started before her voice broke off.

"How is this your fault, Claudia?" he asked, rather matter-of-factly.

"Johnny was just trying to protect me... and now he's—he's got a bullet in his stomach…" she sobbed.

"What did Johnny do?" Anthony asked, walking closer to his daughter, and she hesitated.

"Damn it, Claudia! My son! My only son was shot and you seem to know why someone is targeting my family! You better tell me or so help me god!" he roared and Claudia completely broke into a hysterical fit of tears.

"I was on the docks! And—And this man came over to me, beat me up and tried to rape me, daddy!" she screamed.

Anthony's expression was something that Claudia had never seen before. Actual horror and shock crossed her father's face at Claudia's admission. Maybe Anthony Zacchara didn't hate her as much as he led on. Maybe Anthony Zacchara wasn't the heartless bastard that she had always known. Maybe… just maybe… her father actually had a soul.

"W—What?" he finally gasped when words came back to him.

"Don't act so surprised… you probably wished that he had killed me…" she said, wiping her eyes.

"Claudia, regardless of our relationship… an attack on you is a direct attack on me and our entire family! Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"Because we all knew that you would flip out and then Johnny's marriage would've been all for nothing!" she yelled.

"We? You were—you were all in on this?" he cried.

"Of course! Why else would Johnny decide to get married out of the blue? Lulu saw Johnny kill Dimitri and Trevor arranged everything to prevent Lulu from testifying against John if this ever went to trial!" she exclaimed.

Anthony's hand curled into a tight fist, angry that he had been kept in the dark for so long. Claudia knew that her father would read this as betrayal but she didn't care. She had to protect her brother in the only way she knew how, even if that meant breaking the most important family rule: not giving Anthony any information.

"You—you all betrayed me…" he growled.

"We were doing what was best for John… I'm sure that someday, when this is all behind us, you'll get it…" she said before turning around and walking away from her father.

* * *

Johnny was sure that he was dreaming. There was no explanation to what was happening to him at that moment. He was floating in a black void. Where was he? The last thing he remembered was falling to the ground after being shot when he was going to visit Lulu…

_Lulu…_

Was she alright? Did the person that targeted him want Lulu as well? Was she stuck in this strange limbo somewhere? He looked around him, searching for her but he couldn't see anything. He was lost somewhere deep inside of his mind. He had to get back. He couldn't possibly leave Claudia by herself with Trevor and Anthony. He was her little brother but he would always be her protector… and then there was Lulu. The thought of leaving before he had the chance to tell her how he felt was horrifying.

"_Johnny…"_

He looked around but didn't see anyone near him. The voice was so warm and so soft that it made Johnny melt inside. Attempting to move in this strange state was nearly impossible. He had to move towards that voice. He struggled to move in the direction of that sweet melodic voice.

"_I'm—I'm so—so—sorry, Johnny …"_

What did she have to be sorry for? For being the most beautiful thing he had ever heard in this miserable vacuum? If he were content to just live in this stale limbo for the rest of his life, just to listen to her voice, he would but he was much too selfish to settle just for her voice. He wanted to touch her, feel her, and kiss her. He needed her… more than anything that he had ever known.

"_I'm falling in love with you, Johnny…"_

"And I love you too…" he called out into the void.

She didn't answer him. He made his way through the space but found himself no closer to where she was than he was before. He had to get to her, even if it took him a lifetime to find her. She was worth it.

"Where are you?" he cried but she couldn't hear him. He called out her name until his throat ran dry and tired from strain.

"_I need you…"_

Her beautiful voice was no louder than a whisper and it broke his heart. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears or already there and he wanted to rush to her side and make everything alright. He needed her just as much as she needed him, if not more.

"I'm trying, Lulu! I'm trying to come back to you!" he yelled.

His arms were flailing around, trying to feel his wife around him but he just grasped at nothing. She couldn't hear him and she couldn't feel him. Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of white light and Johnny shielded his face. He then felt himself being pulled towards it and he began to struggle against it. It was pulling him away from Lulu's sweet voice and he couldn't let that happen. A warm sensation rippled through his body as he was hurdled through the light. A white light meant that death was on the other side and that was the last place that Johnny wanted to be. He thought that he had the option of walking into the light but he was being dragged into light against his will. He had too much to live for. He had a future to look forward to… a future with Lulu by his side... not just in name only. Their relationship could be rooted in real feelings and real emotions… and he couldn't do it if he was dead. He finally reached the light and it was like he was coming up for air after being underwater for hours. He gasped and his eyes shot open.

He was lying in an unfamiliar bed, wearing a scratchy hospital gown with tubes and wires attached to his body. The bright lights burned his eyes and he squinted until his eyes adjusted and a dull pain flared up in his stomach from what he guessed was the gunshot wound. His room was completely empty and silent with the only exception being the gentle humming of the machines around him. What had just happened? Did he really hear Lulu's voice say that she loved him or was that just his mind projecting what he wanted? He heard what sounded like a door opening but he couldn't see who it was coming towards him. He felt a set of warm hands wrap around his fingers and he sighed.

"Lulu…" he groaned. The voice laughed but it wasn't the one from the dream. He closed his eyes again and inhaled deeply.

"Not quite… but I'm just happy to hear your voice, little brother… welcome back…" Claudia said.

* * *

Logan had heard about the shooting at the MetroCourt as he sat at the bar in Jake's. Johnny had been shot and the fact that Lulu was staying at the hotel where the shooting took place, he feared the worst. He hadn't had time to taste a drop of the beer that he ordered and he made a mad dash for his car. He listened to the news coverage of the story as he weaved through the traffic towards General Hospital and parked right in front of the ER entrance. He knew that he was probably going to get his car towed but he didn't care. He needed to know that Lulu was ok.

"Excuse me, has Lulu Spencer been admitted?" Logan asked a young brunette nurse at the station.

"Lulu Spencer? Yes… but she's not a patient… she's with the Zaccharas right now…" Nurse Elizabeth Webber said.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"I'm sorry but that area is restricted, Logan… I can't allow you to be there… it's strictly for family only…" she said, setting down her charts.

"Please… I just—I just need to know that she's alright…" he begged.

Liz's face softened and she quickly motioned to him and he followed her down the hallway. He sighed a sigh of relief, knowing that Lulu wasn't hurt but he just wanted to see it for himself. Liz pointed to a corridor and he thanked her for bringing him to Lulu before she returned to her station. He began walking slowly down the hallway and that's when he saw her. Her hand was pressed against the glass of a window and tears were streaming down her lovely face. The despair in her eyes broke his heart in more ways than he could count. It broke his heart not because he hated to see her upset but it was that she had never looked at him like that.

She never felt deeply for him for her to feel like the end of the world was coming if he wasn't in her life.

It was just another painful reminder that Lulu didn't love him in the way that she loved Johnny Zacchara. Logan's relief that Lulu was safe quickly turned into anger and resentment to the man that held her heart. What had he done that was so wrong that it made Lulu run straight into Johnny's arms? He didn't understand. He loved her and had been faithful to her ever since the Maxie Jones thing had blown over and Lulu had forgiven him. Why couldn't she look at him the way that she was looking at Johnny right now?

Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming down the hallway, someone in stilettos. He quickly darted out of sight and held his breath so that he wouldn't be discovered.

"Lulu… is he awake yet?" the woman asked.

"No… not yet… I'm—I'm starting to get worried, Claudia…" Lulu muttered and Logan realized that the woman that Lulu was talking to was the infamous Claudia Zacchara, Johnny's older and more volatile sister.

"The doctors said that he should be waking up soon… why aren't you still sitting with him?" Claudia asked.

"I—I—um… he was just lying there so still… and I kind of lost it so I came out here to regroup myself… and I figured that you were coming back soon and I wanted to make sure that you got some time with him…" Lulu said quietly.

"You don't mind if I go and sit with him for a little bit?" Claudia asked.

"Claudia, you don't even have to ask…" Lulu said, putting her hand on her sister-in-law's shoulder.

"Thought I should just clear it up with the wife first…" Claudia said, laughing slightly, and Lulu chuckled as well.

"Thank you…" Lulu mumbled.

"For what?" Claudia asked.

"For letting me sit with him… even though he probably couldn't hear me, it helped me just to sit with him and talk to him… anyway, he's probably dying to hear a voice that he can actually stand so… go in and sit with him…" Lulu said softly.

Logan peeked around the corner and saw the two women hug before Claudia went into Johnny's room. Johnny didn't deserve Lulu. She had so much to give and he was basically throwing it aside like it was nothing. His hand clenched into a fist as his fury towards him and the entire Zacchara family grew. He had to do something… something that would push Johnny and the rest of the Zaccharas out of Lulu's life forever. He began to make his way out of the hospital when an idea struck him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He quickly punched in the number for the Port Charles Police Department.

"Hello? Yes, my name is Logan Hayes… I'd like to speak to Commissioner Mac Scorpio about a murder case that I'm sure he's working on…" he began.


	11. Crossroads

**A/N:** Ok, I know that this chapter is fairly short… it's mostly transitional (but necessary) stuff but I promise (without giving too much away) that the story is going to pick up really quickly after this chapter. So, as always… thanks for hanging in there with me! Happy reading and don't forget to review!!

**Chapter 11 – Crossroads**

Claudia squeezed her brother's hand gently as he opened his eyes again wearily. She knew that the sedatives that the doctors had put Johnny on were slowly starting to wear off and he would probably be in a tired state for a while but she didn't care. Her brother was awake and he was going to be fine. It was more than she deserved but she was so incredibly happy to have this miracle.

"I can't let you out of my sight without you getting shot, can I?" Claudia asked, running her fingers over his cheek, smiling.

"Guess not…" he muttered.

"I'm just so glad that you're ok… I don't—I don't know what I would've done if—" she began but Johnny cut her off before she had the chance to finish her sentence.

"But I am alright, Claudia… don't get yourself worked up over this…" he said softly.

"How can you be so calm? You were just shot!" she cried.

He managed to smile weakly and squeezed her hand gently. He was glad that his sister was here. Claudia had missed a lot of his life because of their father and he was glad that she was just as stubborn as he was and never gave up on him.

"I've had the best medicine… people like you, rooting for me to pull through…" he said.

"Yeah… Lulu and I have been here the entire time… daddy's around here somewhere and Trevor is probably lurking in a dark corner…" she chuckled.

"Lulu…" he muttered.

His thoughts immediately went to his dream. Lulu's voice had been so vivid in his mind that he was sure that it had to be real. Did she really say that she was falling in love with him? It was almost too good to be true and he didn't want to get his hopes up. He had never felt this way about any other person and the possibility of rejection was almost too much to bear.

"Has—has she been here lately? She's—she is alright, isn't she? She wasn't hurt?" he asked. Claudia smiled at her brother and held his hand. The worry in his tired eyes tugged at her heart and she ran her fingers through his thick brown hair and sighed.

"She's completely fine, John… she hasn't left your side since she got here… I asked her permission to come in and sit with you… I figured that it would be safe to ask the wife before I just came in…" she chuckled.

"That's good… I was—worried…" he exhaled.

"And I don't know how you could ever doubt Lulu's feelings for you… she—she cares about you, John…" she said.

"I got shot… coming to see me just proves that she's not completely heartless…" he muttered.

"When did you become so cynical, John?" she asked.

"I can't—I can't get my hopes up, Claudia… if Lulu doesn't feel the same way, I don't—I don't know what I'd do…" he said.

Claudia pouted and put her hand on her brother's. Claudia had made no secret of her view on love to Johnny and she didn't want her brother to agonize over some girl. She told Johnny over and over again to not fall in love but he clearly didn't heed his sister's advice. He was so infatuated with his own wife and she couldn't save him… she couldn't save him from falling in love with Lulu.

"You know how I feel about relationships…" Claudia began.

"Yeah… I know… _love kills_…" he muttered.

"But, John… I've seen the way that Lulu looks at you… she clearly has feelings for you... and I know that I've said a lot of things about love but your happiness means everything to me… and if Lulu makes you happy, then I will do everything in my power to make sure that you two end up together…" she said as a small smile crept across her lips.

Johnny smiled and squeezed his sister's hand gently. Having Claudia on his side made him breathe easier and he knew how hard it was for Claudia to say those words. After the life she had lived, she had to be tough and she didn't trust easily and to love someone is to hand them your heart and hope that they can keep it safe… and that was nearly impossible for her to do.

"Thanks… but I can handle my love life… or lack thereof… on my own." Johnny said.

"Fine… suit yourself… just don't come crying to me when your plan blows up in your face… or go completely 'emo tortured artist' and play piano by candlelight…" she laughed.

"Ha… there's something that I've missed… your brutal sarcasm… so, how's dad taking this" he asked, wincing, and Claudia rolled her eyes.

"Like dad… blah blah blah betrayal… blah blah blah Claudia, you're a manipulative bitch… typical daddy…" she scoffed.

"Ouch…" he muttered.

"Don't worry, little brother… I've got thick skin…" she murmured.

"Then what's with the face?" he asked, frowning.

She sighed heavily and looked down at her hands. He knew that look. It was the look that Claudia always got when she didn't have good news to deliver. Taking her hand in his, Johnny looked up at his sister, pleading with her to be truthful.

"Don't look at me like that…" she said.

"What happened with dad?" he asked.

"Nothing…" she insisted.

"Claudia, you can't fool me… something happened with dad… come on… don't shut me out… not after everything that's happened…" he said. She exhaled deeply and nodded.

"Daddy knows… about everything… what happened to me… why you married Lulu… all of it…" she admitted and Johnny groaned.

"You told him? Why?" he asked.

"I was upset and he was asking a lot of questions and it kind of spilled out…" she cried.

"We need to get him under control before he does something reckless…" he sighed.

"That's not all, John… Trevor told me that the man that you killed… he's—he was Andre Karpov's nephew, Dimitri Karpov… and he thinks that this may have been retaliation." Claudia continued.

"And you told dad this too?" Johnny asked and she nodded her head.

"Damn it…" he hissed.

"I'm sorry, John… you know that daddy just gets under my skin…" she said.

"You forget that our father has been mentally ill for most of our lives… and this—this could be the piece that pushes him back over the edge…" he said.

* * *

Lulu sat in the hallway, not paying attention to the book that she was reading. Not even the impossibly gorgeous and perfect Edward Cullen of the _Twilight_ series could keep her thoughts off of Johnny. She couldn't help but to be worried about him, wondering when he was going to wake up. She quickly snapped the book shut and looked towards the door to his room. Claudia had been in there for a while and Lulu didn't want to intrude.

_After all, she was only Johnny's wife in name only._

She opened the book again and tried to immerse herself in the story but all of the words seemed to blur together on the pages. Suddenly, she heard the door to Johnny's room open and close and Lulu's glance shot up. Claudia was standing before her, her hands inside her pockets and with a sly smile on her face.

"I thought that only sad and desperate teenage girls read those books…" Claudia chuckled, pointing at the hardcover book that Lulu was holding.

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good love story…" Lulu said, smiling meekly, as she set the book beside her.

"I can tell…" Claudia said.

"How's he doing?" Lulu asked, motioning to towards the door and Claudia smiled.

"He's awake… and he's been asking about you…" Claudia said, nudging her shoulder.

Lulu's eyes widened, wondering what Claudia meant by that. She didn't believe for a second that Johnny felt the same way about her as she felt about him. It didn't make any sense for Johnny to love her. He was the gorgeous, reckless, intense, passionate and ultimately unattainable guy that she had always dreamed of meeting and she was just… Lulu Spencer… she was an ordinary girl from a small town in New York. She was unremarkable. Her parents were remarkable. Her brother Nikolas, who was essentially royalty, was remarkable. Her other brother Lucky, who had overcome a debilitating drug addiction, was remarkable.

_And she simply wasn't._

"I'm—I'm glad that he's going to be ok…" Lulu managed to squeak out.

"You should go in and see him…" Claudia said, taking the book from her.

"He doesn't want to see me… especially not after everything that's happened…" Lulu muttered.

"Lulu… I'm not asking you… I'm telling you… go in and see John…" Claudia said, pointing to the door. Lulu chuckled and stood up.

"Are you sure? That it's ok?" Lulu asked.

"I wouldn't tell you to go and see him if it wasn't ok and besides… my copy is back at home…" she said, holding up the book and Lulu laughed.

"I thought that those books were only for sad and desperate teenage girls…" Lulu said, raising her eyebrow.

"Hey… don't judge me just because I have a weakness for Edward Cullen…" Claudia muttered as she opened the book and immersed herself in the novel.

Lulu sighed and placed her hand on the door to Johnny's room. Her heart began to beat wildly against her chest, wondering what was waiting for her on the other side. For all she knew, he could've still been furious with her or maybe… just maybe… Claudia was right and he wanted to see her. She held her breath and pushed the door open. She exhaled sharply and opened her eyes slowly. Johnny was staring up at the ceiling. She started towards him and his gaze fell onto her. She felt all of the color rush to her face and she stopped short of his bed. His original expression of shock quickly subsided into a soft smile.

"Hi," he breathed.

"Hi," she said.

Hearing her voice again was like music to his ears. There was no sweeter sound than her beautiful voice. His lips trembled as he tried to find the right words to say. There were so many things that he wanted to say, starting with those three little words that he thought that he would never say.

_I Love You…_

He caught himself before he blurted out his feelings. Of course he didn't want to scare her off by professing his undying love for her. He had absolutely no idea how to approach a situation like this. He had never been in love before. He had to be cool and take it slow. Rushing to tell her of his feelings would surely drive her away and he didn't think that he could take that type of rejection.

"How—how're you feeling?" she asked.

"Better… thanks…" he said, fidgeting nervously.

"That's—good…" she said softly, looking down at her hands.

"You know… I don't have the plague… you can come closer… that is if—if that's what you want…" he said.

She smiled meekly and walked over to his side and sat down on the edge of the bed. She couldn't bring herself to look up at him. If her eyes fell to him, she knew that she would just lose it and just make a complete fool out of herself by blurting out her feelings. She had already made a scene in front of him, professing her feelings for him, even though he was unconscious for the most part.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

He gently placed his hand on her arm. It was so warm and so soft that it sent a chill down her spine. She cleared her throat and curled her hair behind her ear, hoping that he wouldn't notice her flustered state. She felt his hand slide up her arm and under her chin, lifting her face up towards him. This man was going to drive her insane. His face was just inches away from hers. His warm chocolate brown eyes were soft and focused on her. It was almost enough to make her faint.

"You can tell me…" he whispered and her lip trembled.

"I was so worried about you…" she sobbed.

Her eyes were brimming with tears and her blond hair was in loose ringlets that fell gently at her shoulders. He loved her hair in curls. He could spend hours tangling his fingers through her golden tresses, smelling her intoxicating shampoo, and feeling it brush across his skin when she kissed him. He shuddered at the thought of kissing her. She was too dangerous for her own good as she evoked a desire within him that was overwhelming. She suddenly threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close. Having her in his arms was like being in heaven and in hell at the same time. He sighed heavily as his hands wrapped around her back and he buried his face in the nape of her neck.

"I'm glad that you—you care…" he said, holding onto her tightly.

"Of course I care, Johnny!" she cried.

She didn't mean to be so emphatic with her response but she couldn't help it. That was her problem. She cared about him too much… so much that she felt like she couldn't breathe with him or without him. He pulled away and stared straight into her eyes as she ran her fingers through his cropped brown hair.

"Lulu… I—" he began.

"You what?" she whispered.

"I—I'm so glad that you're ok… and that you care…" he said, letting his hand fall on top of hers.

"I'll always care…" she murmured.

* * *

Andre Karpov sat on the couch in his penthouse suite of the MetroCourt hotel, a glass of fine vodka in one hand and his gun in the other. He was not happy. His shooter that was supposed to take out John Zacchara had messed up and did not kill the young mob heir, only sending him to the emergency room for surgery and then a full recovery.

"Sasha!" he barked.

The beautiful blond and leggy attorney appeared before him as all of his obedient employees did. She eyed the gun and her eyes widened with fright. She knew that Andre tended to lose his temper quickly and she didn't want to be on the receiving end of his ire.

_Because people who crossed Andre usually ended up in a body bag…_

"Yes, Andre?" she asked, shakily.

He took a large gulp of vodka and dropped the empty glass on the table. Sasha flinched as the glass hit the wooden table and she shirked backwards.

"That shooter did not do what he was paid to do…" he growled.

"I have already discussed this with him and he is willing to try again when John Zacchara is released from the hospital or to target Claudia or even Anthony…" she began but Andre snapped a bullet clip into his gun and she quickly pursed her lips.

"Not what I wanted to hear…" he hissed.

"Andre, I will do whatever you deem to be necessary in this situation…" she said, the fear in her voice evident.

Andre opened his mouth to say something when a loud and rapid knock came to the door. He frowned as a nearby guard answered the door. A smirk crept across Andre's face as Anthony Zacchara strode past 

the guards and quickly drew a sleek silver gun and pointed it at Andre Karpov's chest. The guards quickly drew their guns but Andre just chuckled.

"Stand down… it's obvious that Mr. Zacchara has something to say and he needs his gun to make him feel safe to do so…" Andre sneered.

"You listen to me, you son of a bitch… if you come after my family… if you so much as look at any of my family wrong, I will kill all of you…" Anthony growled.

Andre laughed cruelly and Sasha joined in, rather nervously on her part. Andre sighed heavily and folded his arms across his chest.

"So it's true… you truly are off your rocker, Zacchara…" Andre said coolly.

"Careful, Karpov… it's not wise to upset a crazy…" Anthony barked.

"You have no power…" Andre growled.

"Do something to piss me off and you'll see how much power I really have…" Anthony hissed.

Anthony withdrew his gun and exited as abruptly as he had come. Sasha closed the door behind Anthony and exhaled heavily. She turned around and saw that Andre seemed to be in deep thought. She walked over towards her client and sat down on the couch beside him.

"I'm thinking…" he began.

"What, Andre?" she asked.

"I'm thinking that we need to take action against the Zaccharas…" he said slowly.

"How do you suggest that we proceed?" she asked.

"Find out when John will be released from General Hospital… I'm thinking that we are going to take them all out… in one swift stroke…" Andre said, maliciously.


	12. Fallen

**A/N:** Two words: Writer's Block. This has literally been the worst case I've ever had and also I've been distracted lately with school work and then also with primetime TV shows coming back on but I'm going to try to get back on track with this story! I think that the next few chapters are going to be easier to write because I've been waiting to write those chapters while everything that I've written up to this point is setting up for when Johnny and Lulu finally come together! Ok, I must stop before I give away the story. Happy reading and don't forget to leave a review!!

**Chapter 12 – Fallen**

Johnny dreamt about Lulu every single night during his recovery in the hospital. Her words from his dreams haunted him… tortured him even. She told him that she loved him every single night while he slept but when dawn broke, reality hit him like a freight train. She didn't love him… and it hurt to realize that every single morning while he was in the hospital.

"Guess what?"

Johnny snapped out of his trance and looked up. Lulu was standing at the foot of his bed, smiling widely at him. She had on that same chocolate colored leather coat that she wore on the first day that they met, paired with a set of hip hugging jeans that made his eyes focus on her slender legs. She peeled off her jacket quickly and put her hands on her hips. She was so beautiful when she was happy… absolutely radiant.

"What?" Johnny asked.

"You get to go home today! I just spoke with your doctors and he said that if you promise to take it easy and avoid stress, then they can get you out of here in a few hours after I sign all of the paperwork." She said, triumphantly.

"I don't know if going back to the Zacchara mansion is going to equal no stress but if it means that I get to have something other than that horrible green jello to eat then I'm all for it…" he chuckled.

She walked over towards him and sat down beside him. Her blond hair was in soft curls that sat on her shoulders like waves of sunshine and she was beaming at him. He was completely in awe of her. He had never really seen her so light and happy before. He wished that he could take a picture of her right there because when she ultimately would leave him, he would always have her perfect smile and her beautiful eyes in front of him.

"Are you excited?" she asked.

"What?" he asked, shaking aside his thoughts.

"About going home?" she laughed.

"Yeah—of course… why wouldn't I be?" he chuckled nervously.

"I don't know… you just seemed… distracted." Lulu said, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I was just—I was just thinking that maybe you'd…" he stammered.

"I'd…what?" she laughed.

He saw the words that he wanted to say clear in his mind. He wanted her to come back to the mansion with him. He wanted to tell her that he never wanted her to leave in the first place… and that he was completely infatuated with her and was pretty much almost ready to pick out furniture, kitchenware and other things that couples in love did. He swallowed hard as the butterflies in his stomach flared up towards his throat. He had never had trouble with girls before. Usually all he had to do was to flash one of his charming smirks and look at the object of his desire with narrowed and hungry eyes but he couldn't even remember how to when he was with Lulu.

"Nothing… forget I even said it…" he muttered.

"Johnny, what's the matter?" she asked quietly.

Her hand reached for his and he suddenly forgot how to breathe. His heart was pounding against his chest wildly and he thought that he was going to faint. This was absolutely ridiculous. Just one touch and he was completely gone. It hardly seemed fair.

"I'm fine… just tired…" he said, quickly withdrawing his hand from hers.

"Ok… I—I'll go and find your doctor and start on that paperwork…" she said, standing up.

He shut his eyes tightly and curled up on his rather uncomfortable hospital bed and he heard her slow footsteps creep towards the door. Inside he was screaming for her to stay but he bit his lip, trying to keep himself under control. He heard the door shut behind her as she left and he punched his pillow in frustration. He swore that he would never do this. He swore that he would never let a woman get so close to him that it would drive him to the point of insanity like it did his father because Johnny knew that he wouldn't be any different than his father. He sat up and looked into glass window, watching his faint reflection. Everyone had told him that he looked exactly like his father when he was Johnny's age but he inherited his mother's eyes. Claudia had told him that his eyes were the only thing that separated him from Anthony. Their father's eyes were black, cold, and merciless while Johnny's were brown, warm, and pensive. Suddenly, he saw his eyes flash dark, like his father's, and Johnny shook his head and shuddered. He swore that he would never become his father…

_But he was coming dangerously close…_

* * *

Andre Karpov propped his feet onto the antique coffee table in his suite at the MetroCourt as he read through the newspaper. A pair of slim fingers slid down his crisp pinstriped suit and he rolled his eyes and shifted in the plush armchair where he was sitting.

"What, Sasha?" he asked gruffly.

"Everything is in place for tonight…" she purred in his ear.

"Good…" he said, not even removing his eyes from the newspaper.

"So, I was thinking… we could take the car into Manhattan… the Bolshoi is performing…" she began.

"You've seen the Bolshoi six times…" he said as he flipped to the next page.

"Andre…" she whispered, trying to coax him into going to Manhattan.

"Sasha, please! I cannot go into Manhattan with you tonight! There's too much at stake!" he snapped.

"This will be a solid alibi for us when we target the Zaccharas!" she hissed.

"I can't risk it… after the botched hit on John… I have to see this through!!" he fired back.

Sasha groaned and detached herself from her client. She went over to the liquor cart and poured a glass of brandy.

"Has Sergei filled you in on all of the details? About tonight's plan?" she asked taking a seat across from Andre.

"Yes… Sergei will be in position at ten o'clock at the Zacchara mansion to strike… by midnight Port Charles should be ours for the taking…" Andre said, folding his newspaper.

* * *

A starless night fell on the Zacchara mansion softly. Johnny refused to have an attendant help him around the house. He didn't want to depend on anyone. He even refused Claudia's help but she insisted walking everywhere with him, just to make sure that if he did need some help, he would have it… and she would be able to rub it in his face.

"I'm going to the kitchen… do you want anything, John?" Claudia asked, standing up.

Johnny looked up from the piano at his sister and shook his head. What he wanted wasn't in the kitchen… or in this mansion for that matter. He placed his hands on the keys and began to play slowly, letting his mind fade away into the gray fog and his fingers to guide themselves across the ivories. He never thought that he would say this but maybe his father and his sister were right: don't fall in love…

_Because falling in love was agony…_

He closed his eyes, keeping them from staring at the phone, wanting to call her or waiting for her to call him. He hit a wrong note and he groaned loudly and slammed the piano shut, fed up with everything. He was tearing himself up into shreds for this woman and for what? For a woman that was hung up on her ex? He always thought that he had a good grip on common sense but right now he wanted to hit his head against the wall for being so dumb. He had to make everything so incredibly difficult for himself by falling for the one girl that didn't want him.

"John? You ok in there?" Claudia asked from the kitchen.

"I'm fine…" he called back, burying his face in his hands.

Of course he was lying but Claudia didn't need to know every little thing that bothered her little brother. He swerved around on the piano bench, turning away from the keys and stared out the window. He wondered what Lulu was doing at that moment. He noticed that she curled up with a book every night in the study before heading upstairs to bed while she was with him in the mansion. He could imagine her lying on her bed at the MetroCourt on her stomach, with her nose in one of those teen romance books she loved so much. He could see her smile as she turned the pages of her novel, her beautiful eyes grazing over the text. He sighed heavily and stood up. He really needed a distraction. His eyes quickly fell to his car keys and he swept them up into his hand. He knew that he was going to get lectured about going out joyriding after sustaining such injuries but he didn't care. He needed to get away. He managed to get to the front door without being stopped by a guard, their father, Claudia or Trevor when he smelled something that resembled smoke coming from the kitchen. It wouldn't have bothered him since it was coming from the kitchen and Claudia didn't know how to cook for the life of her… she probably burnt something…

_But there was something wrong…_

He began walking towards the kitchen and the smell of smoke grew thicker and thicker with every step. He pushed aside the door and everything that was flammable was on fire: dish towels, the pale green curtains that Johnny's mother had picked out years ago, and aprons from the cooks that were hanging.

"Claudia!" Johnny yelled.

He covered his mouth and squinted his eyes as he searched for his sister. Suddenly, he felt someone grab his shoulder from behind and strike him in the back of the head and then the darkness took over once again.

* * *

Lulu snapped her book shut and set it beside her. The drab hotel surroundings were a bit muted for her. The Zacchara mansion was filled with rich and complex colors: mahogany, burgundy, chocolate brown, and maroon while the MetroCourt was tan and olive green. Passionate versus impersonal. She sighed heavily and shut her eyes. She was so close to "informing" Johnny that she was going to move back into the mansion to take care of him but she couldn't find the words. This was completely new to her. Usually, when she wanted something, or someone, she was so vocal about it that it wasn't even funny. She broke up Dillon Quartermaine's marriage to Georgie Jones for crying out loud just because she decided that she wanted Dillon and it didn't take her very long to tell Logan that she liked him.

_But this is was so different than the rest…_

She finally understood why girls got tongue tied at the sight of the cute football player in high school. She finally felt the butterflies in her stomach soar when she saw Johnny. She had never felt it before but now that she had, it was enough to drive her crazy. She wanted to tell him how she felt but she just couldn't. She wanted him so badly that she didn't know what she would do if he rejected her. A knock at the door caused Lulu's eyes to shoot open.

"Lulu? Are you in there? It's Carly…"

Lulu slid off the bed and walked over to the door. She opened the door and Carly threw her arms around her cousin.

"Um… Carly?" Lulu managed to squeak out. Carly's hold was fairly tight.

"I'm just so glad you're ok…" Carly said softly.

"Yeah… I'm fine…" Lulu sighed, shaking her curls with her fingertips.

"How's Johnny doing?" Carly asked and Lulu lowered her eyes.

"He's back home… I haven't heard from him since he left GH…" Lulu said softly, walking over to the couch and Carly followed her.

"I tried to call… to see if you were ok…" Carly said.

"I know… I meant to call back—" Lulu began, looking down at her restless fingers.

"I understand… I mean, your husband got shot…" Carly said.

"My husband…" Lulu reiterated.

Her hands began to shake and silent tears began to build up in her eyes. She wasn't aware that she had begun to cry until Carly tilted her face up to look at her and they spilled freely down her cheeks.

"Oh, Lu… it's ok…" Carly whispered, wrapping her arms around Lulu.

"I—I love him, Carly… I love him so much… I—I don't know what I would've done if he'd—" Lulu began but she couldn't even speak the words that haunted her.

"But he didn't! He's fine… ok? He's fine, Lulu…" Carly said, trying to soothe her and Lulu nodded.

"I just—I never thought I wouldn't be able to tell him…" Lulu said in between sobs.

"I'm sure that he knows that you love him…" Carly said.

Lulu knew that Carly thought that would help her but it just made things worse. She covered her mouth in order to quiet a painful wail that involuntary shot through her body. He could've died and he wouldn't have known how she felt about him.

"I'm—I'm sorry… I know that this wasn't what you signed up for when you came over…" Lulu said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve and Carly shook her head.

"Anything for you… I do have a question for you… why are you here? Shouldn't you be back at the mansion with Johnny? I'm assuming that almost losing him makes up for whatever you were fighting about." Carly said.

"I—I'm going over tomorrow… I figured that he can go another day without me without almost dying…" Lulu said, managing a small laugh.

"Alright, well, I'm not leaving you like this so go wash your face and I'll call down for some food and we'll watch some good TV… Oh I totally forgot! All the rooms get ShowTime for free! We can watch this week's episode of The Tudors!" Carly said, her eyes were bright with excitement.

"Junk food and gorgeous guys? This is why you're my favorite cousin…" Lulu laughed.

"Please, you only have two choices: me or Lucas and with Lucas in Chicago at school, I'm all that you've got…" Carly said.

"Just take the compliment," Lulu muttered.

"Fine…" Carly said before sticking out her tongue at her.

Lulu washed her face quickly and headed back into the room. Carly had ordered all of Lulu's favorites, which happened to be half of the menu and about seventy percent of the dessert menu. Her stomach growled as her eyes wandered over the lasagna, the barbeque ribs, and the macaroni and cheese. She hadn't eaten anything for most of the day and she was famished. Carly immediately claimed the Cheetos and tucked her feet underneath her as she sat on the couch. Lulu grabbed the lasagna in one hand and the remote control in the other and absent-mindedly turned on the television.

"Breaking news… we have just received news that a fire has broken out at the estate of alleged crime lord, Anthony Zacchara… the fire department is currently trying to contain the fire and evacuating all of the residents and the staff members from the premises…"

Carly gasped and looked to Lulu. Those words felt like a wrecking ball colliding with Lulu's chest, crushing her completely. Her hand went completely limp and the remote fell from her hand, shattering from the impact.

"Lulu…" Carly exhaled.

"Take me to the house… now…" Lulu demanded, finding her voice.

* * *

"John! Wake up! Johnny!"

Johnny's head was splitting and he tried to inhale but the smoke around him was so heavy that he just began coughing violently. He felt someone shake his shoulder and turn him onto his back. His eyes opened slightly and he saw a dark shrouded figure standing over him.

"John! Can you get up?"

He squinted and the person's face came closer towards him, holding Johnny's face in their hands.

"Dad?" Johnny coughed out.

Anthony attempted to pull him up but he wasn't the strong man that he used to be so he struggled a bit. Johnny managed to find his footing, despite the fact that his head was swirling from the blow that knocked him unconscious.

"Come on… let's get you out of here…" Anthony said, draping his son's arm around his shoulder.

"Claudia… wait! Claudia is still in here… Claudia? Claudia, are you there?" Johnny called into the smoky fog. He heard some coughing in response and Johnny tried to go to her but Anthony stopped him.

"You wait here… I'll go…" Anthony ordered.

Johnny nodded weakly and leaned against the kitchen island and watched as Anthony disappeared into the smoke. He tried not to breathe in smoke but it was everywhere and the room was as hot as a walk through hell. A few minutes later, Anthony reemerged, with Claudia at his side.

"Let's go!" Anthony barked.

Johnny nodded and followed him out of the kitchen, only to find that the hallway was ablaze. The maroon curtains, the paintings, the couches, the flowers… everything was on fire. Johnny saw the look in his father's eyes when he saw everything that reminded him of his beloved wife aflame. Anthony Zacchara never cried and he still didn't cry that night but his eyes just seemed to go completely flat as all of the memories seemed to perish in an instant.

"Sir!"

A firefighter dressed in yellow came towards them and Anthony immediately shoved his two children into his arms.

"Take them… get my kids out of this house right now…" Anthony ordered.

"But sir! We need to get you out of this house!" the firefighter yelled.

"Daddy?" Claudia coughed.

"I need something… from the study… I'll be out soon…" Anthony said.

"Dad! No!" Johnny said in between coughs.

"Listen to me, John… you need to get out now… the family is depending on you… go!" Anthony barked.

Without even a second's hesitation, Anthony turned away and headed down the hallway, trying to avoid all of the surrounding flames. Johnny felt himself moving out of the hallway and into the cool night air outside. The sirens whirred and blared loudly and made his head hurt even more than it did already. He was transferred from the firefighter to what he assumed was a paramedic. The words exchanged between the two of them were hazy and he could barely make out a sentence.

"Johnny!"

_But that voice shook him out of his dazed state._

"Ma'am, you're not authorized to be here!"

"Authorized? That's **my husband** right there! Johnny!"

Johnny managed to turn around and saw Lulu fighting with a member of the PCPD. She was absolutely stunning… probably even more that she did this morning when he saw her last. Her curly hair was pulled up into a messy but elegant bun and her eyes were wide and bright, most likely from fear but beautiful nonetheless. He smiled wearily and extended his hand out to reach her.

"Lulu…" he exhaled.

The police officer that was restraining her let her go and she immediately ran to him and threw her arms around him. He closed his eyes and inhaled the sweet citrusy smell of her perfume as he nuzzled his face into her chest. She would probably yell at him for getting her shirt dirty from the ash and soot that covered him but he didn't care. He had never held her like this before. He could hear her breathing and her rapid heartbeat. She kissed the top of his forehead and held him closer. He might just have to set his house on fire if this was going to happen every single time.

"Johnny…" she whispered.

"You're here…" he muttered.

"It's all over the news… how—do you have any compassion for my nerves? First you go and get yourself shot and then you almost burn to a crisp!" she cried, running her fingers over his cheek and he managed to smile slightly.

"I'm sorry… I'll try to be more careful and not get myself killed…" he said with a smirk on his face.

"Where's Claudia? Is she alright?" Lulu asked.

"My father—he—he got us out of the house… both of us…" Johnny began.

"Anthony?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah… oh—oh my god… where is he? Did he make it out of the house?" he asked, turning around and scanning the scene for his father.

He did see Claudia nearby, being attended to by a paramedic. She was awake and as soon as she was done, she went straight to Johnny and threw her arms around him like Lulu had done. They all waited for what seemed like hours for any sort of news about their father. The fire was put out sometime after one o'clock in the morning and there was still no word. Lulu stayed with the two of them in the cold, holding both of their hands in hers. Forty-five minutes later, a firefighter started towards them and the three of them stood up and from his face, the news was not good.

"I am so very sorry…" he began. Claudia covered her mouth and choked back a hard sob and Johnny stared at the man in disbelief.

"The high beams in the study were very unstable to begin with and when the fire reached the study, a portion of the ceiling collapsed. I'm sorry but… your father—_your father is dead_…"


	13. Fix You

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews!! I'm really excited about the next few chapters and I know that you guys will love them because many of you have been asking when JoLu finally get together and now I'm saying that it's going to happen very soon :) Musical inspiration for this chapter is (of course from the title) "Fix You" by Coldplay. I think that this song goes perfectly with the direction of this chapter. So, if you have the song, I'd put it on and read this chapter… especially towards the end of the chapter… and if you don't have the song, then I suggest that you go and download it now! Happy reading and don't forget to review!!

**Chapter 13 – Fix You**

The memorial service for Anthony Zacchara was absolutely dreadful. Claudia and Johnny had decided to cremate their father after seeing the state of his body after the fire. In the days leading up to the service, Lulu helped Claudia arrange everything. Trevor, of course, was taking care of all of the legal formalities and Johnny…

_Johnny was a living ghost in those long days…_

He and Claudia joined Lulu at the MetroCourt after the fire but Johnny never left his hotel room. Claudia made sure that food was delivered to his room every few hours or so but room service always reported that he didn't even touch a bite of food.

She saw him for the first time since his self-imposed exile at the memorial service. He sat in the first pew of the small chapel near Crimson Pointe, staring straight ahead at the picture of his father that stood at the front of the church.

"Lulu,"

She snapped her head up and saw Claudia standing before her. She was used to seeing her sister-in-law in tight dresses but today she wore a simple and loose black dress with black pumps instead of her favorite red ones. Lulu hugged Claudia tightly and sighed heavily.

"How're you holding up?" Lulu asked.

"I'm fine… I'm just—I'm worried about John…" Claudia said, looking towards her brother.

"Has he said anything to you yet?" Lulu asked but Claudia shook her head.

"No, not yet… he's taking this so hard… harder than I expected… I mean, the way that I feel is surprising but I just hate to see him like this… I want to make things better but he just won't let me in…" Claudia sighed. She quickly brushed a tear from her eye and folded her arms.

"Is there anything that I can do?" Lulu asked, putting her hand on Claudia's shoulder.

"Can you talk to him? Please? After the service? I'm just—worried about him…" Claudia said and Lulu nodded.

"I don't know if I'll be any help but yeah… I'll talk to him…" Lulu said.

Claudia took Lulu's hand and squeezed it gently, thanking her without saying the actual words. She turned around and went to go greet more family members that had just arrived for the service. Lulu turned around and went back to staring at Johnny. He hadn't moved an inch from when she last set her eyes on him, still staring intently at his father's portrait. She wanted to go to him, hold him, and tell him that everything was going to be alright but her feet stayed planted and not a word crossed her lips.

She didn't feel comfortable enough to sit with the family during the service even though she was Johnny's wife. She didn't want to intrude on anyone's grief so she kept her distance from Johnny during the service. She knew that Johnny and his father had their fair share of issues but to lose him like this… Lulu couldn't even imagine it. The one person that Johnny swore up and down that he would hate for the rest of his life was the one that would give his life for him. Of course, Lulu had no idea what it was like to lose a parent. Even though there was no hope for her mother to emerge from her catatonic state, she always knew that her mother was alive but this… this she couldn't imagine.

Anthony's ashes were placed in a simple urn and buried alongside Johnny's mother. Lulu looked on as Claudia reached for his hand and squeezed it gently, soliciting some sort of reaction out of him but he just remained a statue, standing over his parents' graves. As soon as the ceremony was over, Johnny quickly turned away and walked out of the small church graveyard, pushing people aside that were in his way.

"John!" Claudia called after him but he kept walking.

Lulu took Claudia's hand and sighed. They both stood there, watching him climb into a private car and slam the door behind him. Lulu felt Claudia's hand tighten around hers and out of the corner of her eye she saw a tear slide down Claudia's face. Lulu squeezed back, silently telling her that everything was going to be alright. She didn't know how she was going to get through to Johnny but she had to try because like Claudia, Lulu couldn't bear to see Johnny in this much pain.

* * *

Commissioner Mac Scorpio sat across the table from Logan Hayes in the small interrogation room in the police department. He never liked Logan Hayes, especially since he used his daughter Maxie in a bet to hurt Lulu Spencer. Maxie insisted that she was the one who instigated the bet but it still didn't make Logan any more likable but that was beside the point. If what this man was saying was true, Mac had the opportunity to get a mobster off the streets.

"So, you say that John Zacchara admitted to killing Dimitri Karpov and coerced Lulu Spencer into marriage in order to keep her from testifying against him?" Mac asked, making sure that he got the right story.

"His attorney, Trevor Lansing, proposed the deal… I've never heard Johnny admit it… he offered to pay Lulu three million dollars plus whatever John was willing to give her in the divorce settlement…" Logan said.

"So, you never heard John confess to committing the crime?" Mac clarified.

"He didn't need to! Lulu saw him! And the fact that his lawyer came to try to shut us up is proof!" Logan shrieked.

"Well, Lulu is married to John… and can't be forced to testify against him…" Mac began.

"So, you're just going to let him get away with this?" Logan roared.

"Hey! You don't tell me how to do my job!" Mac fired back.

"Well then why did you call me down here? I already gave my statement a few weeks ago…" Logan asked, folding his arms across his chest.

Mac rolled his eyes and agreed with Maxie. This kid was no good. There was no way that he would be a credible witness. From a jury's standpoint, he was going to be the scorned ex-lover who was left in the dust when his girlfriend found a better and richer boyfriend. This wasn't going to fly in court but it was all he had. It was enough… for now.

"I just wanted to verify your statement before we proceed…" Mac stated, closing the folder containing all of the documents pertaining to the Dimitri Karpov murder case.

* * *

Johnny didn't expect to feel this way about his father's death. In the business, one had to think of death as a very real possibility and he always thought that he wouldn't be affected by his father's death… hell, there may have been a time when he would've been glad to hear that his father was gone but they buried Anthony and Johnny felt like he couldn't breathe.

_He was drowning…_

There was a huge lump in the back of his throat that burned whenever he tried to swallow and he shut his eyes, forcing the tears that were rushing to his eyes not to fall. His father had died for him and his sister. He had given his life for the two of them.

_The great and callous Anthony Zacchara had a heart after all… and Johnny was angry about it…_

He picked up a nearby glass and immediately hurled it across the room, shattering it against the door. He hated his father. He hated him for everything that he had ever done to their family. He had killed Johnny's mother, he sent Claudia away, he kept Johnny locked up in mansion for over ten years, and of course there was the emotional and physical abuse when he was slipping further into mental illness, not that it justified it. Johnny hated his father but not as much as he hated himself for being upset about his death. He buried his face in his hands and sighed heavily.

"Johnny?"

He lifted his head up as a pair of small and warm hands came to his shoulders. Lulu walked around to face him and knelt down in front of him. This was the closest that they had been all day. She let him have his distance at the memorial service and a part of him was grateful that she did. He didn't want her to see him like this but at the same time, he wanted to hold onto her so that he didn't feel like he was drowning. She looked up at him, her eyes bright with emotion and her hair was in those curls that he loved. She still wore the beautiful flowing black dress that he had seen her in at the service and her makeup was running like she had been crying too. He knew that she was probably going to say that she looked like a mess but truthfully, she was even more beautiful than he remembered.

"Lulu…" he whispered and she immediately took his hand.

"I'm not going to even ask you if you're doing ok because I know that you're not ok…" she said, putting her hand on his cheek and he managed to laugh bitterly.

"Is it that obvious?" he asked, standing up and walking over to the liquor cart.

"How many drinks have you had?" Lulu asked, eyeing the glass of scotch in his hand.

"You're taking this wife thing a little bit too far, don't you think?" he asked before taking a large gulp. She quickly snatched the glass from him and set it down on the table next to her.

"Have you had anything to eat today? You shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach… I'll call for something from room service…" Lulu began, walking towards the phone.

"Why are you even here, Lulu?" he asked, contempt clear in his voice.

She set the phone back down onto the receiver and looked him square in the eye. He hated when she could see through his entire attitude and she was probably doing it right now. She knew that he was lashing out and didn't want her to leave. He hated himself sometimes for being so completely readable.

"Look, I'm not about to tell you how to feel or how not to feel and I'm not going to tell you that I know how you feel because I don't… we've never sugar coated anything with each other and I'm not going to start now… which is why you need to get it through your head that you're not going to push me away, Zacchara… no matter how much you want to…" she asserted.

"Fine…" he muttered, once he found his words.

She did call downstairs to room service and ordered almost one of everything from the menu and it was delivered within an hour. Lulu insisted that Johnny eat something before she allowed him to go back to his scotch. He was silent and didn't eat that much, just picked at the steak that she ordered for him.

"Johnny… if you need someone to talk to… or just someone to listen to you vent… I'm here…" she said, putting her hand on top of his. He looked down at her hand on his and sighed.

"I'm—I don't know how to feel…" he began.

"That's alright…" she said, squeezing his hand.

"I can't—I don't understand… he—he was horrible father… he killed my mother in front of me! He sent Claudia away because I was becoming too attached! What kind of father does that to his son?" he cried.

"I don't know… but your father loved you, Johnny… I mean, I didn't know him very well but I know that you were his entire world." Lulu said softly but Johnny shook his head.

"I hated him… for everything that he's done… I hate him—I—I _should_ hate him…" he lamented.

"But you don't…" she whispered.

He felt his bottom lip tremble and he inhaled sharply as he tried not to cry. Zacchara men didn't cry. That's what his father always said. He shut his eyes so tight that his entire face scrunched up and he hung his head. Lulu grasped his hand tighter and he squeezed her hand right back. Zacchara men never fell to pieces. Zacchara men weren't weak.

"Johnny… you don't need to put on any brave face for me…" she said.

He lifted his head up and opened his eyes, letting his silent tears fall down his face. Her eyes never left his, never judging and so warm. She scooted closer to him and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders. Not since he was a little boy in the comfort of his mother's arms did he feel completely safe. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and let himself go until he had no more tears left. Her fingertips raked through his brown hair and her lavender perfume seemed to calm him down.

"It's ok… I'm here…" she whispered softly.

"Please… don't leave…" he pleaded as he held her tighter.

"I'm not going anywhere, Johnny…" she said.

He sat up and looked her in the eye. He could feel her warm breath on his face as she held his in her delicate hands. His hands slid from her shoulders up to her neck and then to her face. He tilted her face towards his and she sighed and he was suddenly out of control. Without thinking, he pressed his lips to hers. He needed her so badly. He needed to be close to her, to feel her skin on his skin, to make him feel that he wasn't alone. Her lips parted in their kiss and she panted into his mouth, clearly needing him as badly as he did. He pulled away from her lips but pressed his forehead to hers. He felt her swallow hard and her hands were sitting idly on his chest, on top of the buttons of his dress shirt.

"I need you…" he murmured, running his fingertips over her lips.

"Then have me…" she said, her voice desperate.

He then kissed her, more fiercely than he had ever kissed anyone in his life. Instinct completely stamped out his rationale and all that was left was just raw desire for this incredibly beautiful woman that was before him. Her hands were working frantically to unfasten all of the buttons on his shirt but she sent a few flying across the room when his mouth found her neck. She gasped sharply and completely ripped the shirt off his body. He took the opportunity to flip her so that she was underneath him on the couch. She quickly kicked off her black pumps and he heard her breath become shallower as his hands crept up her legs, over the black pantyhose that she wore, upwards and underneath her dress. He freed her from them, leaving a trail of gentle kisses down her leg as he slid them down her legs. Her legs immediately wrapped around his waist and pulled him close. His lips met hers again with the same fire that they had before. If he was going to drown, he was going to drown in her. He didn't care what this meant for their relationship or that he knew that things could never go back to the way that they were. She would know… she would know that he cared.

Suddenly, there was a sharp knock on the door that jolted both of them out of their frenzied state. Johnny had managed to get Lulu completely out of her dress and she was lying beneath him in a black lace ensemble that should've been illegal.

"Police! Open up!"

"We're not here…" Lulu muttered, pulling Johnny back on top of her.

"I have to get it…" he said, pulling away from her lips.

He stood up and went quickly to his closet to pull out another shirt to throw on before walking to the door. Lulu managed to straighten out her dress before he even got to the door. He recognized Detective Harper from the hospital but the other one was someone new.

"Lulu? What are you doing here?" the new cop asked.

"Lucky… I'm allowed to be in here… wife, remember?" Lulu said matter-of-factly, holding up her hand, showing him her wedding ring.

"I was hoping that you wouldn't be here when I had to do this…" Lucky said and she rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, Johnny… this is Lucky, my older and quite self-righteous brother…" she said, walking over to pour herself a glass of water.

"What do you want?" Johnny asked, his eyes narrowing on the two cops standing in front of him.

"John Anthony Zacchara, you are under arrest for the murder of Dimitri Karpov…" Harper said.

Harper turned Johnny around and proceeded to handcuff him. Johnny heard a glass shatter and saw Lulu looking at him, with tears in her eyes. She rushed to him but Lucky held her back. He ground his teeth together as he was hauled out of his hotel room to the sound of Lulu's earsplitting screams.


	14. Every Time We Say Goodbye

**A/N:** Whew! This chapter was a doozy to write :) but it's done! Hooray! I know that I was mean and did a cliffhanger in the last chapter but I like cliffhangers because it makes you want to come back to read more! I think I went through four chapter titles before I settled on this one… you know how I love naming my chapters after songs :) Alright, enough with the idle chatter… on with the story!! Happy reading and don't forget to leave a review (they make me very happy)

**Chapter 14 – Every Time We Say Goodbye**

Lulu screamed until her voice cracked. Everything had been so perfect, in a way, and then it was all shot to hell. Just ten minutes ago, Johnny was holding her, kissing her, wanting her and then Lucky and Harper showed up and sent her crashing back to reality. Detective Harper had slapped those handcuffs on her husband and took him away. This couldn't be happening… not when everything was starting to fall into place… this just simply couldn't be happening. Lucky held her until she stopped screaming and flailing around.

"Lulu! Calm down!" Lucky hissed.

"Go to hell, Lucky!" she spat, shoving him away from her.

Her body shook all over from the mixture of immense sadness and rage. She wanted to slap her brother for doing this to her, for taking the man that she loved away. She went back over to the couch where she had Johnny had been and sat down, wiping her eyes. She knew that Johnny's arrest was a definite possibility but she never expected it to happen so suddenly.

"We have evidence that Johnny—" Lucky began but Lulu just shook her head.

"Don't even start with me, Lucky! I don't want to hear it!" she screamed.

"I don't want you to be upset, Lulu…" he said, putting his hands on her shoulders but she just balked at her older brother's "concern".

"You didn't want me to be upset? Well then, you should've thought about that before you arrested my husband! You know what? Just get out! Get out right now, Lucky!" she roared.

"I don't want to leave you like this…" he muttered.

"Just go…" she seethed.

Lucky sighed heavily and left the hotel room. Lulu held her hand to her heart and cried harder than she had ever cried before. The pain in her chest was something that she had never felt before. She was absolutely sure that this was her heart breaking. Johnny was going to be charged with murder and spend the rest of his life in prison instead of with her. She immediately went to the mirror in the bathroom and saw her puffy red eyes and the trail of black mascara running down her face from her tears. She had to pull herself together and be strong. She had to be strong for Johnny to get him through this so that they could have a chance to be together. She splashed cold water onto her face and slowly began to come down from her state of panic. Once all traces that she had been crying were gone, she grabbed her purse and sifted through the contents to find her phone. She had to make a difficult call.

"Hello?" Claudia asked when she picked up her cell phone.

"Claudia? It's Lulu…" Lulu started.

"Oh! Lulu, did you talk to John? Is he alright?" Claudia asked.

"Yes—I mean, no… I mean… he's not—I mean… I got him to start talking and he was starting to open up to me but then the PCPD came and arrested him for Dimitri's murder!" Lulu cried.

"What?! When did this happen?" Claudia asked.

"They just left about twenty minutes ago… you need to get down to the PCPD and stop them from booking Johnny!" Lulu shrieked.

"Ok… Lulu, this is **no** time to panic. Meet me downstairs in five and I'll have Trevor meet us at the station… we're going to get John out of this…" Claudia calmly insisted.

"Ok… I'll be downstairs as soon as I can…" Lulu said shakily.

Lulu snapped her phone shut and slipped her black pumps back on. She trotted over to a nearby mirror and double-checked her appearance. Everything needed to be in place before she went downstairs to meet Claudia. Claudia had the uncanny ability to read anyone like an open book and she needed to make sure that there was not only no evidence that she had almost had sex with Johnny but that she was utterly, irrevocably and hopelessly in love with him.

* * *

Johnny shivered as he sat in a holding cell at the Port Charles Police Department. The air conditioner hummed softly as he stared at the gray wall. He could lose his freedom. He could potentially spend the rest of his life behind bars.

_But all he could think about was Lulu, lying beneath him, wanting him…_

It didn't matter to him as much that if convicted, he would be carted off to prison, never to return home or see his sister ever again… but he would never hold Lulu in his arms again, never smell her sweet shampoo, feel her delicate fingertips on his skin… He would never get the chance to make a real go at a relationship. He sighed heavily and ran his fingers though his hair. The more he thought about her, the more the pain grew inside of his chest. He had a taste of what he had longed for so long and for it to be snatched away so suddenly was unbearable. He hoped that she didn't think that coming together tonight was just about his grief. He was upset about everything that happened but being with her was like coming up for air after drowning. Being with her just made him forget the craziness and let him just take a moment to just breathe.

_Just have me…_

He clenched his fist as her voice played over and over in his head. He couldn't even believe that Lulu had this effect on him when no other woman had even held his interest for more than a week. He shook his head and let his arms fall to his side. He had to make this right. When he got out of here, he was going to make this, whatever it was between him and Lulu, right. He had to tell her how he felt.

"Get up… your arraignment starts in ten minutes…"

Johnny looked up at the guard who was standing in the open cell door. He stood up and followed the guard out of holding and into a small courtroom. Trevor was already there, talking to Claudia and Lulu, still in the dress that she was wearing back at the MetroCourt, was standing right next to her. They locked eyes for a moment and Johnny felt a small smile creep up his lips. He should get into trouble more often because worry looked very good on her.

"John!" Claudia exclaimed.

Claudia rushed to him and threw her arms around her brother's neck. He held his sister tightly but never took his eyes off Lulu. She looked like she wanted to throw her arms around him too but she stayed back.

"We're going to get you out of this, John… don't worry…" Claudia said, trying to comfort herself more so than him.

"How'd—how'd you get here so fast?" he asked.

"I—I called Claudia right after they took you away… and she called Trevor…" Lulu said softly.

"Thank you…" he exhaled.

Johnny knew that it was going to be near impossible for him to be granted bail but Trevor worked his magic and managed to secure it. For the first time in his life, Johnny appreciated having Trevor on his side. Claudia posted the obscene amount of money that was his bail and they immediately went back to the MetroCourt. Lulu sat silently in the car as they all rode back to the hotel. Trevor and Claudia's bickering about their next move faded away as he just stared at her as she gazed out the window. She looked so beautiful that it was almost painful to look at. Her eyes were sad and distant and full lips that he had the pleasure of kissing a few hours ago were in a sad frown. He sighed and turned away. There was nothing that Johnny wanted more than to take her aside and tell her the truth. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and wanted to be with her for the rest of his days. He hoped that would put that beautiful and radiant smile on her face.

They reached Johnny's suite and he was surprised to find his guards packing up the belongings that had survived the fire at the mansion. Trevor seemed unfazed by the commotion around him and he quickly began going through his briefcase.

"Trevor, what the hell is going on here?" Johnny asked, taking in the entire scene.

"We need to get you out of town…" Trevor said flatly. Johnny's eyes widened and he felt his stomach drop.

"Wh—What?" Lulu stammered, the surprise in her voice mirroring his.

"I've already arranged a flight to Venezuela…" Trevor began.

"Venezuela?" Johnny echoed.

"It's not forever, John… just enough time for this whole thing to blow over…" Claudia said, coming to her brother.

"Running just proves that I'm guilty!" Johnny shrieked.

"Do you know what the D.A. has on Johnny?" Lulu asked, turning to Trevor.

"Of course not… but whatever they have must be big because after all of the damage control that we ran, there was no way that they could've found something…" Trevor said.

"How's that possible?" Lulu asked.

"I don't know! All I know is that we need to act quickly and get John out of the country tonight…" Trevor said.

Trevor disappeared into the other room with Claudia following close behind him. Johnny turned towards Lulu and he realized that they were finally alone. Her eyes were wide as she looked at him. Everything seemed to be working against the two of them. First, their stupid reservations about each other kept them at odds and now that they were finally working their way towards each other, he had to leave her. He cursed his stupid choice to act rashly with Dimitri but it was that choice that brought Lulu to him. He looked at her sadly as she began moving towards him.

"I can't believe that this is happening…" she muttered.

"I know…" he said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

Her hand came on top of his and he felt his heart flutter. Her small fingers encased his and she exhaled softly. He fought the urge to take her face in his hands and kiss her until the world stopped spinning.

"I don't want you to go…" she said, looking up into his eyes.

"I don't want to go either, Lulu… but what other choice do I have?" he asked.

"I—I don't know…" she whispered, wiping her eyes.

She shook her head and held his hand tighter. She sniffed and he knew that she was on the verge of tears. He gritted his teeth, trying to bite back the words that were itching to pass over his lips. He loved her. He loved her more than his own life and he wanted to tell her. He needed to tell her but he couldn't find the words.

"Come with me…" he exhaled.

She snapped her head up towards him, her eyes questioning whether she heard him correctly and he couldn't believe it himself. He tended to do a lot of things without thinking them through whenever she was around.

"What?" she breathed.

"You heard me… come with me…" he said, coming closer to her.

"You can't be serious…" she muttered, shaking her head.

"I am, Lulu…" he said, grasping her hand.

She opened her mouth to say something when Claudia and Trevor came back into the room. Claudia's eyes immediately honed on his proximity to Lulu and her slim hands in his and she quickly dropped her hands and backed away.

"Everything alright in here?" Claudia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah…" Lulu muttered, blushing bright red.

"I want Lulu to come with me…" Johnny said, point-blank, and Claudia's eyes widened at his frankness.

"Absolutely not." Trevor said firmly.

"Why not?" Johnny asked.

"Because it's hard enough to get just you out of the country… the police, no doubt, are going to be keeping close tabs on you and we can't afford to jeopardize your safety, John…" Trevor said.

"If Lulu goes with me, this will definitely look like a legitimate marriage if this goes to trial…" Johnny countered.

"The jury isn't going to give a damn about who you ran off to South America with! And besides, you can't be worried about Lulu when you're on the run for your life!" Claudia yelled.

"But—" Johnny started.

"Johnny… they're right… your freedom is the number one priority… if I went with you, I'd be a huge liability…" Lulu said, looking up at him.

All Johnny could do was just sigh in defeat and nod his head. Claudia came over to him and kissed him on the forehead and Trevor immediately got on his cell phone to arrange the car to bring Johnny to the airport. Trevor planned a flight out of a small airport in upstate New York under another name so that the PCPD wouldn't be able to find out how Johnny got out of the country until it was too late. Trevor motioned for Johnny to follow him downstairs to start on his escape but Johnny held his hand up before Trevor could say another word.

"Give Lulu and I a moment, please…" Johnny requested.

Trevor nodded and Claudia followed him out of the room. He could hear Lulu sniffing, trying her best not to cry in front of him and he chuckled as he brushed a lone tear from her cheek.

"Crying for your husband? I'm starting to think that you care…" he said, smiling.

"How can you make jokes right now?" Lulu cried.

"Because I don't look as good as you when I cry…" he said softly.

It was then that Lulu threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down towards her and cried. He shut his eyes and held her as tightly as his arms would allow. He felt like dying on the inside, not knowing when he could hold her like this again.

"Lulu…" he whispered.

"It's not forever, right? It's not forever…" she sobbed.

"No, it's not forever… and I'll be in contact as much as I can… but there's—there's something that I need to say before I go…" he said, running his fingers through her blond hair.

"Yes?" she squeaked.

He let her go gently and looked into her eyes. Her hands were on his chest and she was staring right back up at him… so very beautiful and so very sad. His lips trembled as he tried to utter those eight letters that could change everything. He had the words that he wanted to say visualized in his mind. He just needed to say those three little words.

"I—" he began but he was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door and Trevor's booming voice.

"John! We need to move now!" Trevor barked.

"Tell me…" she whispered, her fingers grasping at his shirt, and his heart began to beat faster.

"I—I—I want you to be safe… ok?" he said, instantly regretting the words as soon as he spoke them. Lulu nodded slowly and looked back up at him.

"I will… and you too… please…" she said.

He kissed her forehead and picked up a small duffle bag next to his feet. He watched her brush more tears from her eyes and he began walking towards the door. His feet felt full of lead, trying to stop him from walking out of that room and away from the woman that he loved. He looked back at Lulu, standing perfectly in her black dress and holding her hands to her chest.

"Goodbye, Lulu…" he said softly.

"Goodbye, Johnny…" she whispered.

* * *

The crisp air brushed against Lulu's shoulders as she sat outside of the MetroCourt. Her head was towards the cloudless night sky with tears freely flowing down her cheeks. Forty-three minutes ago, she watched the man that she loved walk away from her as if it were nothing… but it killed her to say goodbye to Johnny. The metal bench was cold underneath her skin but she didn't care. She wanted to become numb so she wouldn't feel this excruciating pain inside of her. She suddenly felt a pair of warm strong hands on her shoulders and she found herself smiling.

"Johnny…" she exhaled sharply, turning around but it wasn't Johnny standing behind her. It was Logan.

"You're going to catch a cold if you stay out here like this…" Logan said, taking off his own jacket and draping it over her shoulders.

"Thanks…" she muttered, turning back towards the stars.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"No…" she said, her voice breaking into a sob.

"Did Johnny do something to you?" he asked, letting his anger creep into his voice.

"It's—it's nothing… nothing that you'd want to hear…" Lulu said, shaking her head.

"If he did anything to hurt you, I want to know, Lulu… I love—I mean… I care about you…" he said, coming around the bench and sitting next to her.

"Not this… you wouldn't want to know this…" she cried.

"Just tell me and I'll be the judge…" he said.

"I've made a mess of everything… with accepting this deal and hurting you… but I just—I never expected to feel this way about Johnny…" she said.

"You like him… don't you?" Logan asked, trying to mask his hurt.

"I'm in love with him… and I may never get to tell him because he got arrested and he may spend the rest of his life in prison…" Lulu sobbed.

She clutched her stomach and cried uncontrollably. Logan just looked on in confused horror. He had never seen her like this before. Surely, she never got this upset over her feelings about him. He never had that place in her heart like she filled his.

"I'm—I'm sorry, Lulu…" he said quietly.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" she asked in between sniffs.

"I—I was the one who went to the PCPD and tipped them off about Johnny…" he confessed.

Lulu's eyes immediately snapped to his at his admission. Did she just hear him correctly? He was the one who tipped off the cops about Johnny? Lulu couldn't say anything for a moment, trying to comprehend what she just heard.

"You—you're the one who went to the PCPD?" she stammered.

"I—I thought that if I could get Johnny away from you, you'd be safe…" he explained.

She stood up and turned around to walk away from him but he lunged for her arm. The moment that his hand made contact with her, she felt a level of rage that she had never experienced before. As if acting on instinct, she let her hand fly and she struck him across the face. He stumbled backwards and his hand immediately went to the spot on his face where she had slapped him.

"Lulu!" he cried.

"Don't you ever… and I mean ever touch me again, do you understand?" she growled.

"I was worried about you!" he whined.

"You're lying! You just wanted Johnny out of the way so you could have a clear path to me!" Lulu shrieked.

"It was not like that!" Logan backpedaled.

"You disgust me… this is a man's life you're playing with! Because of you and your childish jealousy, Johnny could end up spending the rest of his life in prison!" she screamed.

"He should've thought about that before he committed murder then…" he muttered.

"You don't even know half of the story, Logan!" she yelled.

"Damn it, Lulu! I loved you with everything I had in me and that just wasn't enough, was it?" he cried.

"So is that it? Is this whole thing about punishing me? I didn't love you in the way you loved me so you take the man that I love away from me? Well, it worked! It worked _beautifully_ because now I'm sitting out here… all alone… while my husband is running for his life and I don't know when or if I'll ever be able to see him again! So, congratulations! I'm just as miserable as you are!" she sobbed.

"Lulu…" he began.

She just shook her head and stood up. She took off his jacket and chucked it back at him and started back into the hotel. She managed to swipe the key to Johnny's room before he left and she made her way down the long hallway back into his room. Everything was just the way that it had been when he left but it felt like a million years had passed. She walked over to the unmade bed and she slowly curled up with one of the pillows and she cried.

_It smelled just like him._


	15. This Year's Love Had Better Last

**A/N:** Really long chapter! Yay! This took me so incredibly long to write because I wanted to get it exactly right and I had a bit of an issue with trying to fit one thing (but very crucial) thing into the chapter. I actually wrote the ending before I finished the middle… and I think I got a bit carried away with the ending but I think that you guys will appreciate that I did :) So, anyway… enough with my chatter… happy reading! Don't forget to leave a review! They always make me very very very happy.

**Chapter 15 – This Year's Love Had Better Last**

_Weeks had passed and nothing._

Lulu had left the MetroCourt and its lavish amenities to return to her Grandmother Lesley's house in the quiet suburban outskirts of Port Charles. Her grandmother was out of town and asked her to watch over the house while she was away. Being in the house where she grew up let Lulu forget the craziness that was going on around her… at least for a little while. Claudia had been by a few times in the past few weeks to check up on her and to give her any updates that she acquired from Trevor but it still wasn't enough. Lulu curled up with one of her grandmother's quilts on the couch and sighed heavily. She was going out of her mind with worry. There had been no word from Johnny after three weeks of waiting. For all that she knew, he could've been hurt or worse. She shuddered at the gruesome possibilities. She was staring at the door, almost waiting for Johnny to walk through it, take her in his arms and never let her go. She leapt up as a sharp knock came to the door. Her eyes narrowed on the door. She definitely wasn't expecting anyone and her grandmother told everyone she knew that she was going to be out of town for a week. Lulu stood up, clutching the blanket to her body and walked towards the door.

"Trevor…" she said, surprised at the attorney showing up at her grandmother's house.

"Lulu… may I come in?" he asked.

She nodded and showed him into the house. He was carrying his ever present briefcase and was sporting a rather uncomfortable demeanor.

"Is everything alright? Have you heard from Johnny?" Lulu asked, desperate for any news about her husband.

"That's why I'm here, actually…" he began.

"Yes?" she said anxiously.

"I just want you to know that when it's absolutely safe for John to return, I'll bring him home…" he said.

"How much longer do you think he'll have to hide?" she asked.

"I can't say… which is why he asked me to give this to you…" he said.

He opened his briefcase and took out a slim white envelope. Her eyes widened as they fell to her only link to the man that she loved. It was untouched with no postmark, just with her name on the front written in his neat print.

"How—how did he get this to you?" she stammered and Trevor chuckled.

"An elaborate courier system… the original envelope was addressed to me and was actually postmarked from Mexico… so it wouldn't give Johnny's location away for anyone who might be monitoring the mail… it must be important… I don't think that he would've spent the energy trying to figure out a safe route for a mere postcard." Trevor said, smiling.

"Thank you…" she exhaled.

"You're welcome… and I'll keep you posted…" he said and she nodded.

He excused himself, citing an important meeting with suppliers, and left the house as quickly as he came. As soon as the door closed behind him, she turned her attention back to the envelope in her hand. A part of her wanted to rip it open and take in every word that he had written and imagine his deep voice whispering it in her ear… and a part of her was scared to read the letter, afraid of what he had to say.

Her trembling hands gently ripped open the top of the envelope. She unfolded the sheet of paper and began reading.

"Lulu…"she breathed and she felt her heart clench as if she heard his voice say her name.

"I don't even know where to even begin with this letter." She continued as her own voice began to disappear and Johnny's took over. "There are so many things that I need to say to you… things I wish I had said. I owe you so much, Lulu. I don't know how I could've gotten through that night after my father's memorial service if you hadn't been there to pull me up. All of my life, I've been taught to never lose control of my emotions and you were the only person who just let me feel when I needed to let everything out. Who would've thought that my own wife would be the person who I would end up counting on the most?"

Lulu could imagine him smiling as he wrote that last line and chuckled softly. He never ceased to be entertaining. She bit her bottom lip and continued reading.

"All jokes aside… no words could ever describe how grateful I am to you for being there for me that night and the more I think about it, the more selfish I begin to feel. You have given me so much and sacrificed so much for me and I don't even know where to begin to repay you…" she read.

She laughed to herself and shook her head. There was so much that he had given her and he had no idea. He had shown her that love existed outside of fairytales and outside of her parents' lives. He had shown her that real love could exist for her too. She finally knew what it felt like to love someone so completely. He had given her this amazing gift.

"I apologize for not writing sooner but I wanted to make sure that I had a safe passage for communication with Trevor first before I wrote to you and I'm sorry if I've worried you. I hope that this letter will help you breathe a little bit easier and to assure you that I'm alright. I promise that I'll be home before you know it… all my best, Johnny…" she said, folding the letter up after reading the last line.

* * *

Johnny opened his eyes and groaned as he threw the covers off his bed. The air was warm and sticky as he slid off the mattress and stumbled to the window. The sun was rising slowly over the small houses in his view and the people down below were beginning to filter out of their houses and opening their stores to begin the day. He sighed and leaned his head against the window.

_Another morning alone…_

He turned around and walked through the cramped apartment and back to his unmade bed. It was killing him to be away from home. He missed sleeping in his own bed, he missed hearing Claudia's voice downstairs bickering with Trevor, but most of all he missed Lulu. He wished that Trevor had allowed her to run with him and he wished that he had fought harder to bring her along. He needed something to keep him sane during his hiding out and being around her calmed him down. He pulled a t-shirt out of his duffel bag and slipped it on over his head. If Lulu had come with him, he wouldn't even think about going back to Port Charles.

Suddenly, the cell phone that Trevor had given him before shoving him onto the plane began to ring. He immediately lunged for it and flipped it open.

"Hello?" he asked.

"John?"

"Trevor… did you receive my letter?" Johnny asked, relieved to hear a familiar voice again.

"Yes, I did…" Trevor began.

"And?" Johnny said, impatiently.

"I just came from Lulu's not too long ago… I gave her your letter like you told me to…" Trevor said, trying to be as reassuring as possible.

"Did she read it? What did she say?" Johnny asked.

"She didn't open it when I was there, John…" Trevor said, slightly irritated.

"She didn't want to open it?" Johnny asked.

"John! I'm your attorney… not your courier for your romantic overtures to your wife!" Trevor barked.

"Fine… and about the other matter?" Johnny asked.

"I don't think that'll be necessary, John…" Trevor said.

"Right now, I don't care what you think! I'm asking you if you got it done!" Johnny snapped.

"Yes… I have the documents prepared if you need to use them… but I'd—" Trevor began but Johnny cut him off.

"Is it fair?" Johnny asked.

"It's very agreeable for such a short marriage, John… I don't know anyone who wouldn't want that big of a divorce settlement after a less than three month marriage…" Trevor said.

"Good… when you're done, send the documents over to Lulu's house. She can have her lawyers look over it…" Johnny said.

"John, why are you drawing up these papers if you clearly don't want to divorce this girl?" Trevor asked, point-blank.

"Because it's not about what I want…" Johnny said quietly.

Of course he didn't want to divorce Lulu. This marriage was real to him now. He couldn't look at another woman without finding some superior characteristic that Lulu possessed. He wanted to stay married to her and have a real relationship, whatever that meant but he was willing to walk away from it all. He loved her so much that he was willing to let her go if she didn't want him.

"Will you hold off on serving her with the papers until this entire thing blows over? She's already shaken up about this whole ordeal." Trevor stated.

"No," Johnny said flatly.

"Have you even discussed this with Lulu?" Trevor asked.

"I don't need to…" Johnny muttered.

"Fine… I'll have them sent over when I'm done…" Trevor said.

"Thanks…" Johnny said, snapping the phone shut.

He sat on the couch and thought about his attorney's words. He never heeded Trevor's advice but being in love was like uncharted waters for Johnny. He didn't know which way to go and he needed as much guidance as he could possibly get, even if it was from Trevor. Could there really be a chance that he and Lulu could be together? He thought back to the time he spent in the hospital. Lulu was with him almost every single day and then when the fire broke out at the Zacchara mansion, Lulu was right there. He sighed and buried his head in his hands. How could he forget his father's funeral? The way that she held him when all seemed to be lost and the fact that they almost made love that night. What would've happened if he hadn't gotten shot and he had made it up to her hotel room and asked her how she felt about him? Would she be by his side right at this very minute? He quickly stood up and grabbed his duffle bag. Before he ended this marriage, he had to know if there was any shred of hope that he hadn't fallen in love alone.

* * *

Lulu stood in the lobby of the MetroCourt hotel, looking at her watch. She was meeting Carly for dinner and, of course, Carly was running late. Lulu smiled and shook her head. Juggling a marriage to Jasper Jacks, raising two kids and running a growing hotel empire would've been exhausting to Lulu but Carly always managed to pull it off with ridiculous ease.

"Lulu…"

She turned around but frowned when it wasn't Carly standing behind her. She folded her arms as Logan walked towards her. He had some nerve trying to talk to her after he had been the one who went to the police. She shook her head and turned away from him.

"Lulu, I said I was sorry!" Logan cried.

Lulu ground her teeth and shut her eyes. She wasn't going to talk to him. What he did was unforgivable. He could hate her all he wanted for leading him on for as long as she did but to take it out on someone who had nothing to do with their problems was the last straw.

"Can't you at least just look at me?" he asked quietly. She was so angry with him that his voice was like hearing nails on a chalkboard.

"No," she managed to say.

"Why not, Lulu?" he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders. His touch made her skin crawl.

"You make me sick…" she hissed, shrugging his hands off her.

"Lulu," he began but she cut him off.

"No, Logan… I'm through with your excuses and your explanations. What's done is done and you can't take it back no matter how many times you say that you're sorry… and besides, you're not sorry that you sold Johnny out to the cops… you're just sorry that I hate you for it..." she said.

"Lulu, you don't mean that…" he said quietly.

"I do! I do mean it! I don't want anything else to do with you… so, please… leave me alone…" she said and she turned around to walk away but his hand caught her arm.

"Hey! Let her go!"

Lulu looked up and saw Carly standing there, her eyes narrowed on Logan. He immediately dropped her arm and looked down at the floor like a young boy being scolded.

"If I catch you bothering Lulu ever again, I'll personally see to it that you will never bother **anyone** ever again, do I make myself clear?" Carly growled. Carly certainly knew plenty of dangerous people that any threat that she issued carried a great deal of weight.

"Yeah," Logan mumbled.

"Good, now please leave my hotel before I ask someone from security to have you removed." Carly said.

Logan sulked away and left the hotel. Lulu thanked her cousin for rescuing her and they headed upstairs to the restaurant for dinner. Jax had taken Michael and Morgan into Manhattan to see the Yankees play and Carly had the entire evening to herself and she wanted to catch up with Lulu. Talking to Carly allowed Lulu to gain some clarity in her life. Carly was like that older sister that she desperately wanted growing up: someone who understood her and someone who could give her advice in the way that her own mother, even if she was lucid, couldn't give. Lulu shared the news of receiving Johnny's letter, of course changing around the circumstances. Carly was still unaware that she had only married Johnny to keep him out of prison but it was better that way because with Carly, Lulu was allowed to say that she loved Johnny with all of her heart and soul and was miserable without him and that was something that she had to keep hidden for the most part.

* * *

It was pitch black as Lulu drove back to her grandmother's house after dinner. It was so dark that the stars above her sparkled like glitter in the sky. The air was cool and fresh and threaded through her hair as the wind picked up. The leaves on the tree on the side of the house rustled as Lulu made her way into the empty house.

_An empty house… and an empty life…_

She sighed and tossed her purse and coat onto the couch before heading upstairs to the bathroom. She drew a hot bath and tried to relax. Worrying non-stop for three weeks was starting to take its toll on her. She could barely muster up an appetite and she spent most of the day checking the mail and her cell phone for any word from Johnny. Even after receiving his letter, it still didn't take the edge off. She wanted to see him, hold his face in her hands, and feel his muscular arms underneath her fingertips. Only then, she would know that he was alright. She carefully climbed out of the bathtub and quickly dried off and slipped into something for bed. Sleep didn't come easy to Lulu that night. The wind outside thrashed against the trees and she could hear the leaves that had already fallen sweep across the pavement outside.

Her eyes slowly began to droop when suddenly she heard a soft knocking on her window. She sat up, slightly disoriented, wondering who it was. It had to be from the tree because her bedroom was upstairs and the only possible way to access the window was to climb up the tree on the side of the house. She was just about to lay back down when she heard the knocking again. She squinted her eyes as she stared at the window. She saw a figure shift in the tree and she gasped.

_Someone was there…_

She immediately dropped to the floor, hoping that whoever was staked out in her tree didn't see her. Her heart was racing and she crept along the edge of the room towards the closet. Hopefully she could find something to hold whoever it was if they decided to break into the house. She was just about to reach for the closet door when she heard her name being called from outside.

"Lulu!"

The voice was quiet and was followed by more knocking on the window. Her eyes widened as that voice rung in her ears. Was she dreaming? Maybe she just missed him so much that she was just hearing his voice now. She shook her head and looked up at the window.

"Johnny?" she called.

The moonlight didn't do him justice. He was even more magnificent than she remembered. His eyes dazzled in the light and he was perched in that tree like a sleek predatory animal. He smiled as she ran over to the window and pushed it open.

"Oh my god! How'd—what are you doing here?" she whispered.

"Can I come in? This tree isn't entirely comfortable…" he laughed.

Lulu stepped back and he clambered into the room. He stood up and she immediately threw her arms around him. He even smelled better than she remembered. She sighed and squeezed him tighter. If she was dreaming, she never wanted to wake up. She was completely content to staying in this moment for the rest of her life because Johnny was holding her.

"I can't believe that you're here…" she whispered as she ran her fingertips through his hair.

"I couldn't stay away…" he muttered.

She opened her mouth to say something but she noticed that he had a deep cut above his eyebrow and blood was trickling down the side of his face. He winced as her fingers ran over his wound.

"You're bleeding…" she whispered.

"It's nothing… your tree must not like me very much…" he said, chuckling.

"It's not nothing! Stay here… I'm going to get a washcloth and clean you up…" she said.

She was glad that he didn't protest and when she returned from the bathroom with a damp cloth, he was sitting on the floor of the bedroom, looking up at the ceiling. She knelt beside him and pressed the washcloth to his cut.

"This might sting a little…" she murmured as she doused a cotton ball with some hydrogen peroxide.

"Don't worry… I'm tough…" he laughed but as soon as she dabbed the cotton ball on his open cut, he hissed in pain and she tried to conceal a small smile.

He sat still as she finished cleaning the cut and she gingerly placed a bandage over it. His hands caught hers and he slowly pulled her towards him. Her warm breath hit his face and for the first time in almost a month, he felt alive. He had missed her so much and now sitting inches away from her, he knew that he was home. He felt like he was at home with her. Her hair was slightly damp and in beautiful dark gold curls that hung right above the neckline of her black nightgown. He took the stained washcloth and used cotton balls out of her hand and set them down beside her. He felt his hand slowly reach over and he gently grazed over her collarbone. All of the color seemed to rush to her face as he touched her and he swept her hair from her shoulders, revealing a patch of bare skin right below her neck.

"Why did you come back?" she said, her words were almost incoherent.

His lips were now inches away from her neck and her hands were on his shoulders, somewhere in between pushing him back and pulling him in closer. He pulled back slightly, his eyes narrowed on her face and she saw her turn even redder. He liked this effect that he had on her.

"I came back… to finish what I started…" he whispered.

With that, his lips lunged for her neck. She inhaled sharply and her hand grasped his. He quickly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer, their bodies crashing into each other. He quickly slipped the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders and pushed the garment down to her waist. Her hands, tangled in Johnny's dark brown hair, moved down to the bottom of his shirt and forced him to part with her beautiful skin long enough to remove it. Her fingers roamed over his smooth arms and down through the rough patch of chest hair, reveling in the contrast. He quickly pinned her down underneath him, her back grating against the scratchy carpet, and kissed her slowly. Her heart was pounding against his chest and she managed to wriggle out of her slip. He pulled away from her lips and looked at her, taking her in completely. If he had any doubts about if this was what she truly wanted, they were extinguished in that instant. The need was clear in her eyes as she lay before him, naked and unguarded. He rose and she looked at him, clearly confused about his actions.

"Come here…" he whispered, taking her by the hand.

Her hand slipped softly into his and he brought her to her feet. He walked her over towards her bed and brought her in close. The questions in her eyes faded away and a small smile crept across her lips. Her hands slid up his chest and he ran his thumb over her bottom lip. He swallowed hard and pressed his forehead against hers. He loved her so much and being with her at that moment was almost overwhelming. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted his face upward to look him in the eye and she pressed her lips to his. His hands tightened around her waist and whirled her around and they fell onto the bed.

"Johnny…" she breathed.

Her voice was soft and needy and it was almost enough to drive Johnny absolutely crazy. For just this one night, she was his and no one else's. For one night, he was going to go against every instinct that he possessed and taste this forbidden fruit that was lying beneath him. Tomorrow didn't even exist. All that they had was this night and he was going to spend it serving and worshiping every inch of her body. Their lips met again, this time with more passion mounting. He marveled at the speed that her hands moved at as they freed him from his rather restricting jeans and subsequently his boxers and tossed them to the ground. He then grabbed one of her legs and hitched it around his waist and her lips parted and she moaned, clearly in approval. This had been the closest that they had ever been, physically, mentally and emotionally. Her skin was like silk underneath his. She cupped his face in hers and he wanted to tell her that he loved her. He wanted to finally speak the words that had swore he would never say to a woman but now they were burning in the pit of his stomach, aching to be let out.

"Lulu, I—" he whispered but she shook her head.

"Don't say anything… just make me feel it, Johnny…" she breathed.

His lips crashed down onto hers. When he pulled away, she relaxed back onto the bed as he hovered above her. His eyes locked with hers, desire seeping from her gaze. He slid in slowly and he heard her breath catch in the back of her throat. He held her there for a moment, reveling in their union. He bent over and kissed her neck and chuckled slightly when he felt her hips involuntarily buck against him and a soft cry betrayed her lips. He obliged her body's request and began to move inside of her. Never in his life had he felt such desire for one woman before. He needed her so badly and it would've scared him if he didn't enjoy it so much.

She bit down on her bottom lip to keep herself from screaming. Her hands ran up the smooth plane of his back as he held her close. She was slowly losing herself to this passion that had been building up. His heart pounded against his chest and his breath matched the rhythm in which they were moving together. Her body was crying for more of him… for all of him. She wanted him: mind, body, and soul. Ever since her relationship, if one could call it that, with Dillon, she didn't take sex lightly. It took her months to truly trust Logan with her entire self and he ended up stomping on that later and now with Johnny, she was standing there, with her heart in her hand, praying to god that he would take it and keep it safe and she hoped that he would do the same for her. She didn't know how much longer she could be in a marriage without any emotional connection when she felt so strongly for her husband. He snaked his arm around her waist and rolled them so that he was on his back and she was straddling his waist. His eyes were focused and lustful and his chest was rising and he offered a slightly devious smirk. She bent over and kissed him, silently telling him that she was going to take care of him. His hands clutched her waist and she saw him close his eyes and exhale shakily as she took control. Soon the fire that was building inside of her shot through her entire body and she threw her head back, gasping and grasping his chest, falling over the edge of her own ecstasy. His own body rose to meet hers and he rolled them over again so she was back underneath him. She was now at his mercy, clinging to him, repeating his name over and over with every stroke, each one stronger than the last, until he too went over the edge, gasping her name and holding her close.

They laid there for a while, limbs intertwined, panting against each other's skin, and the moonlight from the window hitting their bodies. He slowly detached himself from her but still holding her in his arms. Lulu was curled up next to Johnny, her hand delicately placed on top of his chest and her golden hair, like liquid silk, was strewn messily atop her head.

"Lulu?" he whispered.

He lifted his head but saw her already asleep in his arms. He smiled and ran his fingers through her hair, sighing contently.

"I love you…" he said and with that he kissed the top of her head and drifted off to sleep.


	16. Tears Across My Broken Dreams

**A/N:** I know that this chapter is a week late… and I'm really sorry for the delay… lots of stuff has been happening on campus and I've hardly had any time to just sit down and write! But voila! Here it is!! As always, happy reading and don't forget to review!!

**Chapter 16 – Tears Across My Broken Dreams**

Johnny's eyes fluttered open as the morning light poured in through the window. His chest was pressed against Lulu's back and her arm held to his as she slept and his face was buried into her thick blond hair. He smiled and closed his eyes again. He hadn't been dreaming. Lulu was really in his arms, sleeping, as he had imagined her so many times. His lips grazed over her freckled shoulder and he inhaled the sweet smell of her skin. This was what he wanted for the rest of his life: to wake up like this every single morning, his arms around Lulu, holding her close and never once thinking of letting go. Her cute button nose twitched slightly and she sneezed, slightly shifting in her sleep and holding onto Johnny's arm tighter. He chuckled and kissed top of her forehead.

"Don't worry… I don't plan on ever letting you go… I just—I need to do something…" he whispered.

He kissed the back of her neck and her grip on his arm seemed to loosen. She sighed contently as he slipped his arm out from under her. He moved slowly, trying not to disturb her. He dressed quickly and turned back around to the bed. The hazy glow of morning seemed to light up Lulu's skin, the cream colored sheets of her bed were rumpled and she slept on peacefully… hopefully dreaming of him, he thought. He smiled and walked over towards her. She looked so beautiful when she slept. He would've loved to watch her sleep forever if he didn't love her even more when he could see her beautiful bright eyes staring right back at him.

"I love you… so much, Lulu…" he muttered.

He was so relieved that he could say those words freely and he couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she could hear him. He kissed her cheek and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. As much as he wanted to crawl back into bed with Lulu and get lost in her for hours but he needed to free himself from this baggage that was weighing him down and there was someone he needed to talk to before he could do that. He kissed her again, slower this time. A part of him wanted her to wake up this time and tell him not to go but she remained deep in sleep. He stood up and sighed. It was better this way. If she had woken up, he wouldn't have had the heart to leave her.

He went out the same window that he came in, mindful of the branches this time. His feet hit the grass and his eyes went back to the window. He had to leave, for now… but he swore that he would be back. His eyes never left the window into Lulu's bedroom but his feet were drawing him to where he needed to be. He was careful to be out of sight since he was probably wanted for fleeing the country after being released on bail. He would deal with the police later. The wind rushed down the street, carrying stray leaves along the road and brushed through his hair. It seemed like he walked for hours along that main road outside of Port Charles but he found himself staring straight at his destination. A cold shiver slid down his spine as he looked ahead. He pushed open the small iron gate and walked in slowly. The leaves beneath his feet crunched with every footstep as he neared to where he needed to be. He stopped in front of a gray marble plaque. He sunk down to his knees and placed his hand on the cool engraved stone. He could feel a large lump in his throat but he quickly swallowed, pushing down all of the anxiety.

"Hi Dad…" he exhaled.

His fingers traced the letters in his father's name. He gritted his teeth, willing himself to be strong even though his father couldn't tell him that he was being weak. He sighed, trying to expel any emotion from his voice.

"You ruined my life." Johnny growled.

Forgetting his self-imposed restraint on his emotions, he let himself feel every single feeling run through his mind. The words were true and he had held back so many things while his father was still alive and to finally be able to let go and tell his father how he really felt was a relief.

"I hate you… for what you did… for everything you did to Claudia… and for the hell that you put me and my mother through… I used to dream about standing over your grave and laughing because I would finally be free from you and your disgusting methods of control… but now… all I can think about was you saving my life… mine and Claudia's… and I can't hate you for that… and I hate how I can't hate you for that!" he cried.

He took a deep breath and clenched his hand into a fist. He struggled to regain control over his emotions. Even in death, his father managed to bring out the worst in him and that was his greatest fear. He was terrified of becoming anything like his father. He sighed heavily and looked up from his father's headstone.

"But that's not why I'm here… I'm here because I need to move forward with my life… I can't carry this anger anymore and I can't live in the past forever. So I—I forgive you, dad… for everything." He choked out.

That had to be the hardest thing he had ever said. He never thought that he could say it. He always thought that he would just hold onto the anger and the resentment until he became as hard and brittle as Anthony had been but Johnny couldn't let that happen. He watched his father and knew how unhappy he had been and he didn't want that to be him in twenty or thirty years.

"You—you have probably given me the most valuable gift, dad… the sacrifice that you made… and I'm not just talking about saving me and Claudia… I—I watched you lose yourself in this business… I've watched how all of the death and the betrayals slowly tore at you until you just became this cold and ruthless person that I couldn't even relate to anymore… and I can't help but to thank you for that… for showing me how dark I can go and making me realize that I don't want that for myself… I won't become you, father…" he said, shaking his head.

He stood up, still looking down at the plaque, and sighed heavily. It was in that moment, he understood what everyone was trying to tell him when he shared his fear of turning into his father. Johnny knew, without a doubt, that he would never become his father. Anthony had no reason to walk away from it all. He lived for the power, the money and the control but Johnny was different. He had another reason to live for. He allowed himself to smile a little bit. She was probably still lying in bed, thinking that he was right beside her.

"I have a real chance to be happy now… with Lulu… and I'm going to take it and I'm going to leave all of this crap behind me. All the money, the power, the connections… I'm done with it. I want to move forward and have a real shot at life with Lulu and I need to get out of the business to do it." He said.

The wind picked up again, lifting the golden brown leaves that had fallen the night before off the grass and into the air. Johnny shivered, knowing what he had to do next. He put his hands in his pockets and turned to walk away but he couldn't bring himself to leave just yet. He felt a lump form in the back of his throat and he tried to push it back down. The tears that were forming in his eyes burned and he was trying to blink them back in. He didn't want to shed any more tears for his father. He slowly turned back to that plot of grass where his father lay.

"I'm—I'm sorry too, dad… for everything…" he whispered.

* * *

Lulu was afraid to open her eyes. She was afraid that Johnny coming back to her had just been a wonderful dream. She didn't want to know if she really did feel his lips on her skin, if she actually felt the weight of his body on top of hers, or if he had really made her body cry for him like no other man had ever done. A cold shiver slid down her spine as her mind recapped every single moment of the previous night. How could she go back to living without that much passion in her life? It was like a drug. Johnny was her drug. She had a taste and now she was addicted. She exhaled and slowly opened her eyes.

"Damn it…" she muttered.

She knew that she had been dreaming. Lulu sat up, gathering up the sheets to her chest and she looked around. The room was bathed warm sunlight and the crisp cool air slipped in through the open window. It was a perfect morning, so perfect that she just wanted to lie in bed and watch the day roll by her window. She looked beside her at the empty spot beside her and groaned because Johnny was not naked and lying beside her as she had hoped. She was in bed, alone. Lulu threw back the covers and noticed her discarded nightgown on the floor.

_Ok, maybe she hadn't been dreaming…_

She let out a sigh of relief, knowing that she was not completely delusional. The realization brought a small smile to her face. Usually one didn't wake up, wishing they had slept with the person that they had gone home with but then again, she and Johnny were unconventional. Speaking of Johnny, where could he have gone? Did she do something wrong last night? She paled at the idea of not being good enough for him. She quickly slipped her nightgown back on and trotted down the hallway, hoping to find Johnny in the upstairs bathroom or maybe even downstairs in the kitchen but the house was completely silent. Lulu walked downstairs and immediately felt something underneath her feet as she passed by the front door. At her feet was an envelope that she knew wasn't there the night before, someone must've come by the house and dropped it off. She picked up the strange parcel and saw that it was addressed to her.

"Weird…" she muttered.

She shrugged, seeing no reason not to open it when it was clearly meant for her, and opened the top flap of the envelope. She pulled out the papers that were in the envelope and immediately dropped them to the floor when she realized what they were: Divorce papers.

"So, that's why he left…" she said, trying hard not to cry.

She could've completely lost it. She was completely alone and surely no one would be able to see her or hear her break down over Johnny Zacchara but she fought back the tears. She knew that this was going to happen. She knew that opening her heart to love was just asking for someone to come in and stomp all over her heart. She was angry with herself more so than with Johnny, for letting herself get attached to him when she knew that she shouldn't have. She picked up the scattered papers off the floor and tried to assemble them in their proper order as she walked over to her grandmother's antique desk. Lulu's hand shook as she reached for a pen. Her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces as she signed the papers.

"Fine… he—he doesn't want me… why—why should I be married to someone who doesn't want me?" she sobbed as she signed in the last indicated spot.

She set the pen down on top of the divorce papers and sunk to her knees. She had been right. Last night had all been a dream. A fantasy in which she was stupidly naïve to believe could possibly come true. There was no way that Johnny could ever love her and that they could have a real shot at being a couple. She left the papers downstairs as she went to shower and hopefully wash Johnny right out of her hair, but it didn't work. She just couldn't stop thinking about him, wondering what he was doing or if he was even still in the country or not. Surely he had the resources for a transcontinental one-night stand. The thought of it made her stomach turn. She put herself together and went back downstairs. The sooner she got those divorce papers to Trevor, the sooner her heart could begin to mend what Johnny had broken. She wasn't even going to fight. She just had to let go.

The construction on the mansion had been delayed because of the volatile weather and therefore Claudia and Trevor were still staying at the MetroCourt. She hoped that she didn't run into Claudia in the hallway because she was afraid that she might spill that Johnny was in fact in Port Charles or if Claudia already knew that Johnny was here, she didn't want Claudia to remind her of the fact that he didn't come back for the reasons that she had hoped for. Lulu stepped into the bustling lobby, darting in between room service deliveries and bellhops as she made her way towards the elevator. She walked down the hallway, towards Trevor's hotel room and saw him exiting his room.

"Oh! Lulu… I didn't expect to see you today…" Trevor said.

"I—I—um—I received these this morning and I wanted to sign them and give them to you as soon as possible…" Lulu said, quickly shoving the envelope into the attorney's hands.

"These are the divorce papers from John, aren't they?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah…" she muttered, folding her arms.

"I don't want to take these until you've had your own attorney look them over…" he said, handing the envelope back to her but she shook her head.

"I don't want to look at them for another second, Trevor. I don't want to know how much I got paid to keep Johnny out of jail… it's irrelevant now…" she said.

"The settlement is very generous, Lulu…" Trevor started.

"I don't give a damn about how big the settlement is! I just—" she shrieked.

She quickly covered her mouth with her hands and exhaled shakily. This hurt so much. She gave herself to him last night, her body and her soul and he didn't want it. He didn't want her and that hurt more than anything else in the entire world.

"I'll talk to John… we'll get this straightened out…" he said, putting a hand on her shoulder but she shook her head.

"No… Johnny has made it very clear that we don't need to be married anymore and who am I to fight him? So, you have the papers and you can start this whole process…" she said.

"Ok… I'll get John to sign these and we'll get the proceedings started after John's trial is over…" Trevor said, putting the envelope into his briefcase.

"Thank you," she muttered.

"Take care, Lulu…" he said before leaving.

"I'll work on it…" she sighed.

* * *

Claudia opened her eyes and stared at the white ceiling of her suite at the MetroCourt hotel. It was useless to sleep now. Worrying about Johnny and his safety kept her up at night. She only allowed herself to sleep for two hours every night. She sighed heavily and turned over to face her alarm clock. Everything seemed to move slower when her brother wasn't around. Suddenly, her phone rang. She sat up quickly and reached over to the nightstand to grab her phone.

"What the hell?" Claudia muttered.

The caller ID read that the call was coming from the Port Charles Police Department. She rolled her eyes and immediately thought that they were calling her to grill her again about her brother's whereabouts. She flipped open her phone and pressed it up to her ear.

"This is Claudia…" she said, clearly irritated.

"Claudia? It's me…"

Claudia's eyes widened and her heart stopped when she heard the sound of her brother's voice.

"John? Oh my god! What—you're—you're at the police station? Why?" she stammered.

"Yeah, I'm at the PCPD… I—I turned myself in for fleeing the country…" Johnny said.

"John! Why didn't you tell me that you were in town or that you were heading to the PCPD?" Claudia cried.

"Because I knew that you would've talked me out of it." He chuckled.

"John, this is no time to be making jokes! This is your life!" she hissed.

"I'm sorry… I just—I had to turn myself in…" he explained.

"Ok… I'm coming down to the station right now with Trevor… we'll be there in ten minutes…" she said, immediately standing up and grabbing her purse.

"Ok… thank you, Claudia…" he said.

"I love you, John…" she said.

"I love you too, Claudia…" he said before hanging up the phone.

She snapped her phone shut and immediately dashed out the door. In her rush to get to get out of the room, she collided with someone right outside of her room.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" Claudia snapped.

"Why don't you watch—oh! Claudia!"

Claudia blinked and saw Lulu standing before her and she instantly felt horrible for blowing up at her sister-in-law. Claudia immediately threw her arms around Lulu and apologized profusely for her attitude.

"Hey, are you ok?" Lulu asked.

"Yeah, I'm—I'm actually on my way to see John…" Claudia said and all of the color seemed to leave Lulu's face.

"You're—you're on your way to see Johnny?" Lulu squeaked.

"Yes… and you need to come with me…" Claudia said, grabbing her hand.

"What? Why?" Lulu asked, attempting to pull her hand away from Claudia's.

"Johnny is at the PCPD…" Claudia said.

"What? What happened?" Lulu cried.

"He turned himself in to the police… I don't—I don't know what he's thinking… but what I do know is that he needs us right now…" Claudia said.


	17. Don't Speak

**A/N:** Alright… so, this chapter is kind of short and it's mostly transitional to set up for the next chapter. After this chapter, there's only three more to go. So, as always… happy reading and don't forget to review!!

**Chapter 17 – Don't Speak**

Johnny sat silently in the interrogation room, waiting for his attorney to arrive to discuss how he was going to get out of this horrible situation. He looked down at his hands, which were handcuffed to the table, and rolled his eyes. He had turned himself in, didn't he? The handcuffs were truly unnecessary. The door opened and Trevor strolled through the door.

"So, I'm assuming that Claudia's told you everything?" Johnny asked.

"Yes… and I might have to get you a psych consult because you really have to be insane to do something like this, John." Trevor said, putting his briefcase on the table, and Johnny chuckled.

"I knew that you were going to say that…" Johnny sighed.

"Alright… as much as I'd love to have more of this male-bonding time… we need to formulate a plan…" Trevor began.

"Is Lulu alright?" Johnny asked.

The question clearly took his attorney off-guard as Trevor's eyes immediately snapped up to meet his. Lulu had been on Johnny's mind since he left her house that morning and he wanted to know what she was doing right now… if she was thinking of him and the night that they had spent together. However, the look on Trevor's face was not one of reassurance. The attorney sighed heavily and shook his head.

"John… we need to focus on building your defense for this trial…" Trevor said, clearly trying to dodge his client's questions.

"Oh, come on, Trevor… don't do that to me… have you heard from Lulu? Does she know that I turned myself in?" Johnny asked.

"Yes… yes she does…" Trevor exhaled.

"Well? Is she coming down to the station?" Johnny asked, hardly being able to contain his anxiety.

"I—um… I honestly don't know, John… I wouldn't count on it…" Trevor said.

That was the part that confused him. If she knew that he had turned himself in, why wouldn't she show up to see him? That wasn't like Lulu at all.

"What do you mean?" Johnny asked.

"What do I mean? John!" Trevor yelled, incredulously.

Johnny was taken aback by Trevor's tone. Trevor immediately proceeded to take out a stack of papers and slam them down on the table in front of him. Johnny's brow furrowed and he reached over and picked up the papers that were sitting in front of him and his heart fell to the bottom of his stomach when he realized what they were.

"Divorce papers…" Johnny muttered.

"Yes, John… divorce papers that you gave to Lulu that I specifically told you not to… they're signed and she wants me to file…" Trevor said, folding her arms.

"What? How'd—how'd…" Johnny stammered.

"How'd she get the papers? You sent them to her house for godsake!" Trevor shouted.

Johnny's heart stopped as he looked at Lulu's signature at the bottom of the page. He remembered that he had sent the papers to her house but seeing them signed and sitting in front of him made it more real. He had never considered himself to be emotional but he felt like he wanted to die at that moment. How could she want to walk away from him after the night that they had spent together? Did it not mean anything to her? He sighed heavily and buried his face in his hands as he realized his greatest fear had come true: he had fallen in love alone. She didn't love him.

"John? Are you ok?" Trevor asked.

Johnny looked up at his attorney, knowing that he couldn't mask his hurt. Trevor sighed and put his hand on Johnny's shoulder. Johnny shook his head and pressed his fingertips to his temples. He had to pull himself together. He was Johnny Zacchara for crying out loud. He had stared down death in the face more times than he cared to admit and he was falling apart at the thought of Lulu not loving him. His father would be turning in his grave if he could see his son right now.

"I'm fine… at least, I will be…" Johnny muttered.

"Ok… I'm going to call Claudia… she should've been here by now…" Trevor said, standing up.

Johnny nodded slowly and put his forehead on the cold table in front of him. His heart was pounding against his chest. This was going to be all for nothing. He had turned himself in to fulfill some misguided noble act to free himself from his toxic family business and to start fresh with the woman that he loved. Except that said woman, didn't want anything to do with him.

_Fate's a bitch._

* * *

Claudia made the most illegal u-turn in order to pull into the parking lot of the Port Charles Police Department. Lulu clutched the side of her seat because she felt like she was literally going to fly straight through the windshield. Claudia grinned sheepishly as she parked the car as Lulu glared at her.

"Sorry… at least there wasn't anyone around…" Claudia chuckled.

"How did you ever pass your driver's test?" Lulu muttered.

"I learned to drive in Italy… much more fun to drive on those narrow streets…" Claudia said, grinning.

"Next time I'm driving…" Lulu said, opening the car door, and Claudia laughed again.

Lulu had made it through security quickly since the guards never thought to check her since her brother was one of the most respected detectives on the force but they checked and double checked Claudia. Lulu started to complain but Claudia just shot her a look, telling her that it was ok and just to be patient.

"Seriously… there was no reason for the search to take that long…" Lulu muttered when Claudia finally finished.

"It's alright, Lulu… they're just doing their job… now let's go see if Trevor is doing his job by getting Johnny out of this mess…" Claudia said, taking Lulu by the arm and walking down the hallway towards the holding cells.

They found Trevor exiting the interrogation room, briefcase in hand. Claudia immediately went towards him and inquired him about her little brother. His eyes fell to Lulu and he seemed genuinely shocked that she was there, most likely because of the last conversation that they had shared about the divorce.

"Lu—Lulu… I didn't—expect to see you… I thought that Claudia was going to come by herself…" Trevor stammered.

"I ran into Lulu right after John called… I—I can't imagine that John wouldn't want his wife here…" Claudia said.

Lulu sighed. The way that Claudia had said 'wife' was almost like if this marriage was still a ruse but it wasn't… at least not to Lulu. Her eyes looked past Trevor and Claudia and went to the small window that looked into the interrogation room. She wanted to go to the window and see him, his perfect boyish grin, his dark chocolate brown hair that was always perfectly sculpted… thinking about him hurt so much because she knew that he didn't feel the same way about her.

"Lulu?"

Lulu snapped out of her musings and looked up. Claudia's hand was on her shoulder and Lulu smiled warmly at her.

"Yeah?" Lulu asked.

"Did you hear what I said?" Claudia asked.

"Um… no… I'm sorry… I must've spaced out for a minute…" Lulu muttered.

"Well, why don't you go in and see John? Trevor said that he's been asking about you…" Claudia said.

"Oh, I couldn't possibly… you go first… he probably doesn't want to see me…" Lulu said, shaking her head.

"He's asked for you, Lulu. Come on… just go in and talk to him…" Trevor said.

She sighed heavily and nodded. She sometimes wondered why the two of them were pushing her towards him all the time. They had already had the entire town convinced of their story that they had been having a secret love affair behind Logan's back and there wasn't any reason to kick the charade into a higher gear. She walked towards the door and put her hand on the metal doorknob and swallowed hard. She had to be strong. She couldn't allow herself to break in front of Johnny. She _wouldn't_ allow herself to break in front of him. She turned the knob and pushed the door open. She opened her eyes and saw Johnny with his head buried in his hands. She closed the door behind her and the sound made Johnny's head snap up. Neither of them said anything for a long time, they both just sat there, in frozen silence, staring at each other. There had been so much passion in his eyes the last time she had locked eyes with him. He had been so close to her and she could've sworn that she saw love in his eyes but now his eyes were black, flat and lifeless.

"Lulu…" he muttered, finally breaking their silence.

"Johnny…" she managed to squeak out.

She walked over to the table and sat in the chair across from him and his eyes immediately went to the table. She bit her lip in order to try to keep herself from crying because he couldn't even look at her anymore.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Claudia ran into me at the MetroCourt right after you called her and she told me what happened… god, Johnny… what the hell were you thinking? Turning yourself in? Are you insane?" she cried and Johnny scoffed at her concern.

"I was _trying_ to do the right thing… not that you would understand or appreciate it…" he said bitterly and Lulu was taken aback by the contempt in his voice. He hadn't spoken to her like that in months.

"So we're back to that, huh? We're back to snarky and rude Johnny? What the hell did I do that was so awful that's making you act this way?" she asked, folding her arms.

"So you ran into Claudia at the MetroCourt? Was that before or after you gave my attorney the divorce papers?" he asked.

"I can't believe that you're going to bring up those freaking divorce papers right now when your freedom is at stake…" she muttered.

"Well, you signed them, didn't you?" he spat.

"I'm not having this argument with you right now… we need to come up with a strategy for this trial…" she said, knowing that fighting about this was sure to unleash a whole vat of emotions that she didn't want Johnny to see.

"Whatever… I don't give a damn about the trial anymore… I might as well confess because you're going to divorce me, testify against me and then send me to jail… isn't that right?" he asked.

"That's not fair!" Lulu cried.

"But it's the truth, isn't it? Tell me… have you been planning to divorce me all of this time right before the trial? Slowly pulling me into a false sense of security and then pulling the rug from underneath me? Wasn't that what last night was all about?" he asked.

"Shut up…" she growled.

She wasn't sure if she was angrier with him for insinuating that she was using him or completely devastated about the contempt that was clear in his voice. Even when they first met, she had never heard him speak to her like this before.

"But isn't that what you're good at, Lulu? Stringing guys along… making them believe whatever you want them to believe and then completely blind sighting them when you're sufficiently amused? Isn't that the real reason why you slept with me?" he asked.

Every single word was like a dagger pressing into her heart. She almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. What could've possibly made him think the worst of her? If anyone should be upset, it was supposed to be her. Johnny was the one who drew up those divorce papers. He was the one who left her this morning all alone. He shouldn't be the one that's angry… it should be her.

"Well then why did you come back, Johnny? If you hate me this much, why the hell did you come back? If I'm just so horrible and manipulative and controlling, why did you come to my bedroom last night? God, you—you're a piece of work, Johnny… you start hurling accusations at me when it was you who had those divorce papers sent to my house… and it was you who left me this morning without saying a word!" Lulu shrieked.

"Why did I come back? Damn it, Lulu… are you blind? I came back for y—" he began but he quickly dodged her gaze. "It—it doesn't matter… we both know that this marriage wasn't real to begin with and it was bound to end sometime…"

Lulu almost didn't realize that she had begun crying until she saw her tears fall to the table. Johnny reached over and wiped a tear from her cheek and she looked up at him. That spark of humanity was back in his eyes… that spark that made her fall in love with him in the first place.

"I'm keeping my end of the deal, Johnny… Trevor will hold off on the divorce proceedings until your trial is over… I won't do anything that could compromise your case. I—I care about you too much to see you go to prison for trying to protect your family." Lulu said.

* * *

Trevor looked in on the young couple and sighed heavily. The screaming match had subsided and now they were talking in quieter voices. It was clear to everyone else to see how much they loved each other. It was a shame that they couldn't see it.

"Have they stopped arguing yet?"

Trevor turned around and saw Claudia standing behind him. Trevor was about to say something when his son, Ric Lansing, the district attorney, rounded the corner. Trevor rolled his eyes as Ric instantly went towards the door of the interrogation room.

"Excuse me… just where do you think you're going?" Claudia asked.

"Oh, I just wanted to do some follow up questions with your client… you're welcome to join us, father." Ric sneered.

"The district attorney is your son?" Claudia asked, incredulously.

"Yes, Richie here is the district attorney… and he never lets me forget it…" Trevor said, clearly irritated.

"I hope that you bring your A-game for this trial because you're going to need it to get John exonerated…" Ric said, smirking.

"And why's that?" Claudia asked, folding her arms.

"Because I've got an eyewitness… and his testimony is going to send your client straight to prison for the rest of his life…" Ric said.

"Really? Who?" Trevor asked.

"Logan Hayes…" Ric said.


	18. Testify

**A/N:** Whew! This chapter was a doozy to write but it's long so I think that you'll enjoy it :) Oh and for those of you that don't know, I'm currently trying to figure out my next story and I've decided to turn it over to you guys. So, on my profile there's a link to my YouTube video poll and there you can vote for which idea that you like best! The winning idea will be my next story! Alright, enough chatter… happy reading and as always, leave a comment!!!

**Chapter 18 – Testify**

Johnny fidgeted in the suit that he was wearing. He didn't really like wearing suits, ever. His father had always told him that he'd have to change the way he dressed if he was going to be a part of the family business and he, in turn, just stuck to his regular clothes as yet another sign of defiance. The suit was freshly laundered, stiffly starched and a bit itchy. He glanced behind him and sighed heavily. Claudia and Lulu were due to arrive at the court at any moment and they couldn't come a moment too soon. He didn't know what he'd do without the two of them by his side. He surely would've cracked under the pressure and he would've confessed to killing Dimitri but Lulu and Claudia were his rock during the entire trial. He suddenly felt a pair of slender hands on his shoulders. He turned around in his chair and saw Claudia standing before him and he sighed.

"How're you doing?" Claudia asked.

"Hanging in there… how are you holding up?" he asked.

"Look at you… you're the one on trial for murder and you're asking me how I'm doing…" she said, running her fingers through his hair.

"Where's Lulu?" he asked, noticing his wife's absence. They usually came to court together.

"Bathroom… you should've seen her in the car… she's a nervous wreck about Logan's testimony today…" Claudia said, sitting down on the table in front of Johnny.

"No kidding," he muttered.

Logan was the defense's star witness. Without him, the district attorney's office had nothing to link Johnny to the crime and that had Ric worried. His entire case was riding on the word of the jilted ex-lover of the now current wife of the defendant. Trevor said that Ric didn't have a prayer to win this case but it still made Johnny uneasy. And then there was the subject of Lulu. Johnny sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair. She still cared for Logan. Even though she assured Johnny that she was on his side and wasn't going to do anything that would compromise his case, he still had a sickening feel in his stomach that as soon as his trial was over and their divorce was final, she would go back to Logan and pick up on the life that they were supposed to have before Johnny even appeared in her life. As if on cue, the doors opened and Lulu, dressed in a simple black dress paired with a white cardigan, walked into the courtroom. She dressed the part of the model upstate New York wife perfectly and flawlessly. He couldn't help but to smile as their eyes met.

"Is Trevor here yet?" Lulu asked and Claudia shook her head.

"Not yet… he should be here soon…" Johnny said.

"Maybe I should call him… or maybe I can do something else?" Lulu said, frantically searching her purse for her cell phone but Johnny caught her hand in his.

"Lulu… calm down… Trevor is going to be here and everything is going to be ok…" Johnny said, trying to reassure her.

"How can you say that? Logan is going to testify today and he's going to tell the entire court what he knows about our agreement!" Lulu hissed.

"Let Trevor worry about Logan's testimony…" Claudia said.

"I know… I know… I just wish there was more that I could do…" Lulu sighed, sitting next to Claudia.

"Hey… you're doing great…" Johnny said, squeezing her hand.

She looked up at him and smiled. He felt a warmness flood his heart when she smiled at him. If only she knew how much she meant to him, he thought. If only she knew how he couldn't have done this without her.

* * *

"The prosecution would like to call Logan Hayes to the stand…"

Lulu turned her head as the door opened and an unrecognizable man walked through. Logan's eyes met hers and she folded her arms across her chest. Gone was the light and all that was left was bitterness and malice. He crossed the room and went to the witness stand. The bailiff held a bible up to Logan and asked him to put his hand on the book.

"Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?" the bailiff asked.

"I do…" Logan said, his eyes immediately narrowing on Johnny and Lulu gritted her teeth.

"Careful…" Claudia whispered.

"I can't help it… he's doing this out of spite…" Lulu hissed as Logan sat.

"Mr. Hayes… can you please describe your relationship with the defendant, John Zacchara?" Ric asked.

"I don't know Mr. Zacchara personally… just what I know from newspapers and the like…" Logan said.

"Is it true that you were involved with the current Mrs. Zacchara?" Ric asked.

"Objection, your honor… the personal life of my client is not on trial and has no significant weight to this case…" Trevor said, setting down his pen.

"Overruled… answer the question, Mr. Hayes…" the judge stated and Ric shot his father a smug look.

"Yes, I was involved with Lulu Spencer… I mean, Mrs. Zacchara… for almost a year…" Logan said. Johnny only took comfort in the obvious disdain in his voice when he called her Mrs. Zacchara.

"So, it's safe to say that you and Mrs. Zacchara were very serious at one point…" Ric stated.

"Yes…" Logan said flatly.

"Can you tell the court about the day of August 14th?" Ric asked.

"Sure… I received a call from Lulu's cousin, Carly Jacks, saying that Lulu hadn't shown up for work and naturally I was worried since I had seen her leave the apartment that morning… we were living together then… so I went home to look for her and I found her on the couch, completely shaken up…" Logan began.

"How so?" Ric asked.

"She was pale and shaking all over… she was completely terrified." Logan said.

Lulu's stomach dropped. This was a nightmare. There was no way that Trevor, despite how brilliant he was, could get Johnny out of this. She felt Claudia's hand tighten around hers.

"Please continue…" Ric said.

"I managed to calm her down so that she could tell me what happened." Logan said.

"And what did Lulu tell you?" Ric said, his voice salivating at the prospect of putting Johnny away for the rest of his life.

"She told me that she was on her way to work and she had heard yelling coming from an alleyway… she went to go see what it was and she said that it was two men arguing… one was holding a gun and the other looked like he had been beaten up very badly and the man with the gun suddenly fired it, killing the other man…" Logan said.

"Did Lulu identify the man with the gun as John Zacchara?" Ric asked.

"Not at first… she didn't know his name… but that was when Trevor came to our apartment…" Logan said.

"And what did Trevor Lansing have to say?" Ric asked, smirking at his own father.

"We're so screwed…" Lulu whispered to Claudia but Claudia just shook her head.

"Trevor offered the two of us a deal in exchange for our silence… he wanted Lulu to marry Johnny to save him from being sent to prison because of what she saw and in return, he'd pay us three million dollars…" Logan said.

The courtroom immediately erupted into a collection of side chatter over the latest development in this case. The judge repeatedly tapped her gavel on her desk, trying to call order. Lulu buried her face in her hands. She couldn't believe that this was happening. After everything that she and Johnny had gone through, it was all going to hell. Logan was going to win and tear Johnny away from her. He was going to make sure that she was just as miserable and brokenhearted as he was.

"And obviously if Lulu married John, she wouldn't be forced to testify against him if he were ever tried for the murder of Dimitri Karpov, correct?" Ric asked.

"Yes…" Logan said.

"No further questions… the prosecution rests…" Ric said, returning back to his chair.

Lulu's eyes fell to Trevor, watching him stand and approach Logan. Lulu smirked and Claudia chuckled softly as Logan shifted uneasily in his chair.

"Why don't you elaborate for the court the nature of your relationship with Mrs. Lulu Spencer-Zacchara?" Trevor asked.

"I was very much in love with Lulu…" Logan stated.

"So, when Lulu left you to marry John, you were hurt, right?" Trevor asked.

"She didn't leave me to marry John… we still saw each other even after she married him…" Logan said, his sneering was plainly directed at Johnny and Lulu wanted to scream.

"In what context did you 'see' Lulu?" Trevor asked.

"We would meet every weekend or every other weekend or so after she visited her mother at Shadybrook…" Logan said.

"Did you ever sleep with Lulu while she was married to John Zacchara?" Trevor asked bluntly.

Lulu felt her entire face turn red and Johnny's gaze snapped to his attorney. She wondered what Logan was going to say: if he was going to go far enough and lie and tell the jury that they'd had sex while she was married to Johnny or if he was going to continue on his self-righteous truth path and say no.

"Objection, your honor… relevance?" Ric cried.

"Your honor, I'm just trying to establish the relationship between the witness and the wife of the defendant, I believe that you already got to do that, Richard… can't I get the same courtesy?" Trevor asked and Claudia snickered beside Lulu.

"Overruled but get to the point, counselor…" the judge said.

"Thank you, your honor… Mr. Hayes, can you please answer the question?" Ric said, turning back to Logan.

"No… Lulu and I hadn't been intimate for a month prior to her marriage to Johnny Zacchara…" Logan sighed and Claudia nudged Lulu and smiled at her.

"What about your relationship with her prior to her marriage to John Zacchara? Had you been drifting apart recently?" Trevor asked.

"She had been becoming distant… and I had asked her to marry me but she said that she couldn't give me an answer…" Logan stated.

"Can you tell me about the night of September 17th, when you showed up to the Zacchara mansion?" Trevor asked and Logan's face went white.

"I—I—um… I went over to the Zacchara mansion to talk to Lulu and she was with Johnny at the piano... and I walked in right as they were about to kiss…" Logan said.

"And then what happened?" Trevor asked.

"Lulu and I got into an argument about how close she and Johnny were getting…" Logan said.

"So, let me see if I understand this… you went over to John Zacchara's house, saw him in an intimate moment with his own wife and then got jealous argument with her?" Trevor asked.

"Objection!" Ric cried.

"Counselor… I'm warning you… stay on track…" the judge growled.

"Were you jealous when you saw John and Lulu together?" Trevor asked.

"Of course I was!" Logan roared.

"Did Lulu ever break off your relationship?" Trevor asked.

"Yes but—" Logan began.

"Are you still in love with Lulu Spencer-Zacchara?" Trevor asked.

"Yes…" Logan growled.

"And you would do anything to get her back, correct?" Trevor asked.

"Objection!" Ric yelled, rising to his feet.

"Even lie in a court of law to send her husband to prison for the rest of his life?" Trevor asked.

"Objection, your honor!" Ric repeated.

"That's alright… no further questions…" Trevor said, returning to his seat.

Logan stood up and immediately left the courtroom, trying to hide his embarrassment from everyone. The judge called for a recess and the jury filed out of the room and Lulu stood up and walked over to Trevor.

"Can I speak to you outside for a minute?" Lulu asked.

"Sure…" Trevor said and he motioned to Claudia to tend to Johnny while he spoke to Lulu.

She was surprised how well Trevor handled Logan but she couldn't leave it like this. He had managed to discredit Logan somewhat but it wasn't enough for Lulu. She wanted to make sure that Johnny was going to walk out of this courtroom a free man when the jury came back with their verdict. Trevor escorted Lulu out into the hall.

"I think that it went well…" Trevor said.

"It's not enough…." Lulu said, pacing.

"Lulu… you're working yourself up over nothing… I managed to put doubt in the jury's mind about Logan and Logan was really all that the prosecution had to firmly tie Johnny to the crime… anyone could've purchased the Italian made gun and bullets… so, we have a really good case…" he said, trying to stop her from erupting into a panic.

"I don't want Johnny to have a 'really good' case… I want him to have an ironclad case… he can't go to prison, Trevor… he just can't… I don't know what I'll do if he's convicted!" she cried.

She covered her mouth with her hands and tried to regroup herself. She hated herself for being vulnerable to be rattled by Logan and she hated herself for not being able to be strong for Johnny.

"Lulu… calm down… John is going to get acquitted… we've worked too hard for him not to get acquitted, right?" he said, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"There has to be something else…" she began and then an idea struck her.

"What?" he asked, clearly noticing her moment of enlightenment.

"Put me on the stand..." she breathed.

* * *

After the longest recess of his life, the trial resumed. The jury filed back in and Claudia returned to her seat. Johnny stared at his hands, running through Logan's testimony. He had taken Trevor's advice and had tried to keep a poker face during Logan's testimony because any other emotion could be misconstrued by the jury but inside he was shaken to his core. He searched the courtroom and saw that Lulu hadn't returned. She looked upset through Logan's testimony and maybe decided to go back to the MetroCourt. Or maybe she was with Logan. He swallowed hard and tried to not think about his wife with that piece of garbage.

"We will now resume… the prosecution has rested so Mr. Lansing, if you would like to call any additional witnesses before I excuse the jury to render a decision, please do so now…" the judge said, addressing Trevor.

"Yes, your honor… the defense would like to call Lulu Spencer-Zacchara to the stand…" Trevor said.

Johnny's heart stopped as Lulu walked through the door and made her way to the stand. He didn't even notice Ric's expression of sheer horror. Lulu put her hand on the bible and swore to tell the truth. He couldn't take his eyes off her as she sat serenely in her chair. Trevor approached her and she smiled warmly at him.

"Mrs. Zacchara… can you please tell the court about the first time you met John Zacchara?" Trevor asked and she managed to chuckle.

"I didn't like him at first… I was at work… on my break actually… and I went to the roof because the MetroCourt roof has one of the most beautiful views of the city and I like to take my coffee and just look at the entire city… and when I got to the roof, I saw Johnny… standing on the edge of the roof… he looked like he was going to jump and I told him not to… Johnny doesn't like being told what to do so we fought and I walked away…" she said, locking eyes with Johnny.

"But your feelings for him changed, right?" Trevor asked.

Johnny's brow furrowed. Where was Trevor going with this round of questioning? Clearly this had been Lulu's idea because Trevor had explained his entire strategy for this trial with Johnny before they even stepped foot into the courtroom and having Lulu testify was not a part of the plan.

"Objection! Relevance?" Ric cried.

"Your honor, the prosecution based their case on the fact that my client's wife married him only to keep him from jail and I'm simply trying to set the record straight for my client's benefit." Trevor stated.

"I'll allow it… Mrs. Zacchara, please answer the question…" the judge said.

"Yes… my feelings for him did change… and it even surprised me…" Lulu said.

"Were you in a relationship with Logan Hayes when you met John Zacchara?" Trevor asked.

"Yes… Logan and I had been together for almost a year when I met Johnny…" Lulu said.

"And were you happy with Logan?" Trevor asked.

"I was in the beginning… but at the time that I met Johnny, no I wasn't happy…" she said.

"So, you began a relationship with John when you were involved with Logan?" Trevor asked.

"Yes…" Lulu said.

"How did Logan take the news that you were in love with John Zacchara?" Trevor asked and Johnny noticed that Lulu swallowed hard before speaking.

"Not well… we had a huge argument…" she said softly as she shifted in her seat.

"What kind of things would you argue about?" Trevor asked.

"Logan was very jealous because I married Johnny and not him… but Johnny was the last thing that I ever expected… I didn't think that I would ever feel this way about anyone…" she said.

Johnny looked up at her and she was looking right at him. So beautiful, he thought. She almost made him believe that she was telling the truth. He felt the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile as he watched her and Trevor work their magic for the jury.

"Just two more questions, Mrs. Zacchara…" Trevor said.

"Alright…" she breathed.

"Did you receive any money from anyone in the Zacchara family or staff for marrying John?" Trevor asked.

"Absolutely not… the only relevant thing to money in my marriage is the prenuptial agreement that I signed if, god forbid, Johnny and I were to split up… it's nothing out of the ordinary when one marries a man with substantial wealth…" Lulu said.

"And are you married to John Zacchara just to keep him out of prison for murdering Dimitri Karpov as the prosecution has implied?" Trevor asked.

"No… I'm married to Johnny because—because I—" she began but her voice trailed off.

Cold fear grew in Johnny's stomach. This was surely the hardest lie for Lulu to swallow and he was praying that she could pull this off. She wiped her eyes and exhaled shakily. Trevor was nervous as well but he managed to hide his fear from the jury. She finally looked up, tears in her eyes and shook her head.

"I'm married to Johnny because I love him… I love him with all of my heart and all of my soul… he means more to me than anything else in the entire world… more than I ever could've imagined… and please…" she said, turning to the jury, "please don't take him away from me…"

Her voice broke his heart. He had to summon every ounce of willpower that he had in order to stop himself from going to her. He knew that she was lying as a part of the agreement that they had but she was just so believable… like she had been when he came back and they made love for the first time. He saw the emotion and the need in her eyes and he could feel his chest swell with love for her.

"Thank you, Mrs. Zacchara… no further questions, your honor… the defense rests…" Trevor said.

* * *

"Has the jury reached a verdict?"

Johnny and Trevor rose to their feet. He was shaking all over. Trevor said that that jury deliberation didn't take that long and that could be either good or bad for him. He looked behind him and saw Claudia and Lulu standing behind him, holding each other's hands, waiting for the judge to speak.

"We have your honor…" the jury representative stated.

"What say you?" the judge asked.

"We, the jury, find the defendant, John Anthony Zacchara… not guilty…" the foreperson said.

Johnny felt the breath leave his body and his knees give out. He immediately heard Claudia begin to cry behind him. Trevor put his hand on his shoulder as he was cleared of all charges. Not guilty… he was not guilty. The sense of relief finally rushed over him, allowing him to restart his breathing. When the feeling came back to his legs, he turned around and immediately threw his arms around Lulu, who was now sobbing. Claudia embraced the two of them, kissing her brother's hair repeatedly.

"It's over… it's finally over…" Lulu cried, clinging to him.

"All thanks to you… if you hadn't testified, there's no way that I could've gotten off…" Johnny whispered, pulling away from her.

He smoothed over her face with his hands, wiping the tears from her cheek. Her eyes were bright, watery and beautiful. He could lose himself in them all day. She cupped his face in her slender fingertips and more than anything, he wanted to kiss her. It definitely went along with the charade that they had just put on for the jury but now that the trial was over, they would start the divorce proceedings and she would be out of his life for good. Lulu wouldn't be his wife anymore and the thought almost made him sick to his stomach. He felt her suddenly withdraw from him and Claudia proceeded to fling herself onto him, showering him with kisses.

"Thank god, Johnny!" Claudia sobbed.

"I—I should go… you and Claudia deserve your time together…" Lulu said softly but both Claudia and Johnny shook their heads.

"Of course not! You don't have to go, Lulu…" Claudia insisted but Lulu motioned behind Claudia.

They both turned around and saw Andre Karpov standing before them. Johnny instinctively pulled both Claudia and Lulu towards him, ready to launch into an attack if he so much as looked at his family the wrong way.

"Mr. Zacchara… I believe congratulations are in order for the outcome of your trial for the murder of my nephew…" Andre said coldly.

"Dimitri was a sick bastard that tried to—" Claudia growled.

"Claudia, calm down…" Lulu began and Claudia ground her teeth.

"Trevor… would you mind escorting my wife to the car? Claudia and I would like to speak to Mr. Karpov alone… and make sure that Lulu isn't harassed by any press… I think we can all agree that it's been quite a day…" Johnny said calmly.

"Sure… Lulu?" Trevor asked, extending his arm to her.

Lulu looked up at Johnny and nodded. She took the attorney's arm and Johnny watched Trevor lead her out of the now deserted courtroom. Claudia folded her arms and narrowed her eyes on the mobster before her. For good reason, she was wary of Karpov and his intentions.

"I would first like to apologize… Dimitri was impulsive and dangerous… just like his father and I never particularly cared for either of them…" Andre began.

"Which makes it ok for you to attack me and my family?" Johnny spat.

"I'm extending the olive branch, Mr. Zacchara… I would like to negotiate a truce between our two families that would stop all hostilities…" Andre said.

Johnny looked at the Russian mobster, trying to gather any sense of an impending betrayal, but he didn't find any. Karpov agreed to a meeting with the two of them sometime next week and made a hasty exit, telling the Zacchara siblings that his attorney would be in touch to hammer out any details. Claudia turned to Johnny and hugged him for what seemed like the millionth time.

"I'm just so glad that you're ok… not even scum like Karpov can take that away from me…" she said, running her fingers through his hair.

"I almost lost it when Logan was on the stand but Trevor really pulled through for me…" he said.

"And don't forget about Lulu… I didn't even know that she was going to testify on your behalf!" she said, smiling.

"I think it was her idea and she sprung it on Trevor at the last minute but she was fantastic… very convincing…" Johnny said, sitting on top of the table. Claudia's eyes narrowed on her brother and she folded her arms across her chest.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"What do you mean by 'she was very convincing'?" she asked.

"That entire thing about meaning the world to her… I knew that she was going to have to lie a little bit on the stand but I didn't think she'd go that far…" he said.

"You thought that she was lying when she said that she loved you?" she asked, incredulously.

"Well… yeah, I did." Johnny said and she shook her head.

"For someone so smart, you can be completely dense sometimes, John…" she laughed.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Claudia chuckled again and kissed his forehead. It reminded him of when they were little and she would say something that he was too young to understand. She would just shake her head, smile at him and tell him that he would understand someday. She began towards the door but Johnny caught her wrist. He wasn't a little boy anymore and where Lulu was concerned, he was going to make himself understand what she meant.

"Tell me…" Johnny said and Claudia sighed.

"When Lulu was on the stand and she told the courtroom that she was in love with you… _I don't think she was lying, John_…" she said.


	19. There You'll Be

**A/N:** Well, after this chapter there's only one more! It's surreal every single time I finish a story because when I look back on all of the chapters, it amazes me that I actually managed to get it done! :) The next chapter is mostly fluff and ties up some loose ends… it probably won't be that long but I always like to end my stories with some good JoLu fluff… I think it's only fair that I do that after driving you all crazy with the angst for 20+ chapters! :D Alright, onwards! Happy reading and don't forget to leave a review!

**Chapter 19 – There You'll Be**

Johnny sat uncomfortably in Trevor's office. Trevor was sitting beside him in the spacious and well lit conference room, calmly taking notes. This was the day that Johnny had been dreading for weeks: D-Day, or as it was actually called: Divorce day. He knew that this day had to come and they had put it off as long as they could but they were beginning to run out of excuses and they both agreed to have Trevor start the proceedings.

"Stop fidgeting, John…" Trevor hissed.

"Sorry… I can't help it…" Johnny apologized.

"Relax… this shouldn't be too difficult… the prenup is ironclad and Lulu's getting a considerable amount more than she was originally going to get in the prenup because of this edited divorce settlement so I don't think she or her attorney will do much arguing." Trevor said, returning to his note taking.

Johnny sighed heavily and buried his head in his hands. How could he relax? The only woman that he had ever loved… and would probably ever love was going to end this marriage that he had grown to depend on. He wanted to stop this divorce but what could he do? Their marriage had served its purpose. He was a free man and they needed to let go and find their own ways in the world.

"That's not what I was worried about…" Johnny lamented.

"You don't even need to do any talking… just let me handle everything…" Trevor said.

"Then why did you have me come here in the first place?" Johnny asked and Trevor rolled his eyes.

"John, just be quiet…" Trevor said.

Johnny was just about to fire back a retort when he saw Lulu turn the corner, flawless as always, and flanked by who Johnny guessed to be her attorney. Lulu was wearing a crisp white button up blouse with a black skirt that was long enough to be considered to be modest but hugged the gentle curves of her hips and black patent leather pumps that made her legs seem to go on for miles. Her face was immaculately put together with just the right amount of makeup and her lips were shellacked with pink gloss.

_Well, he definitely knew what he was about to lose…_

Johnny shook himself out of his awestruck gaze as Lulu and her attorney entered the conference room. Trevor shook Lulu's attorney's hand but Johnny just watched Lulu glide across the room to her seat across the table from him.

"Johnny…" she said, looking straight at him.

"Lulu…" he exhaled.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Alright, I guess… and you?" he asked.

"Same… how's Claudia? I haven't spoken to her in a few days…" she said.

"She's fine… she misses you though…" he said.

"And what about you?" she asked, looking down at her hands.

"What about me?" he asked.

She looked up at him and for a split second, he could've sworn that he saw tears in her eyes. She laughed uneasily as he leaned in closer to her across the table. She curled a stray sleek lock of blond hair around her ear.

"Do you miss me?" she whispered.

He swallowed hard as his heart raced. That was the last thing that he had expected to hear her say. He should've lied. He should've said no. He should've told her no he didn't miss her in order to make things easier for him when she would ultimately walk out of his life. But sitting three feet away from him, her voice was low and her eyes were bright and wild with emotion and knowing how much he had lied about his feelings for her since the moment he really looked at her and noticed that she was the most beautiful woman that he had ever laid eyes on, he couldn't lie to her anymore.

"I miss you every… single… day…" he exhaled.

* * *

Lulu didn't do a lot of talking during the negotiations. All she could do was to keep her eyes on the man sitting across from her. Her husband… well her soon to be ex-husband. How did it come to this? How could she just sit there and do nothing as these lawyers began to dismantle her marriage? Her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces as the thought of seeing Johnny walk out of those double doors and out of her life for good. She didn't know what she was going to do without having him in her life every single day.

"So, if you'd like to take a look at this newly revised divorce settlement… it's more than what was offered in the prenuptial agreement and it's very generous…" Trevor said, sliding the papers across the table to her lawyer, Alexis Davis.

"I don't want any of the money…" Lulu said and Alexis immediately looked up at Lulu as if she had grown an extra three heads in that moment.

"Lulu… this settlement is very generous…" Alexis echoed.

"It's just money…" Lulu said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Lulu, come on… be reasonable… take the money…" Johnny said but Lulu shook her head.

"I don't want it…" Lulu said.

"Lulu, I want you to not have to worry about money… so just please take the settlement…" Johnny said.

"I don't need you to take care of me, Johnny… you're not going to be my husband as soon as these papers are filed so you don't have to start worrying about me now…" Lulu said.

All of the money in the world couldn't buy her what she really wanted. She would trade almost anything to be loved by the man that was sitting across from her and no amount of money could take the sting out of the fact that he didn't want her.

"Can I have a moment alone with my wife? Please?" Johnny asked, turning towards the two attorneys.

Alexis shot Lulu a look but Lulu nodded and Alexis and Trevor stood up and stepped out of the conference room. As soon as they were out of earshot, Johnny turned back to Lulu and his smile was now gone.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Johnny hissed.

"You can't force me to take the money, Johnny…" she said, standing up.

"You are unbelievable…" he muttered.

"Look… just bring the attorneys back in so we can sign the papers and get this over with, ok? The less time I have to spend trying to fight with you about how much money I don't want, the better… god! I didn't even want this freaking divorce in the first place!" she cried.

Johnny's eyes widened and Lulu quickly gasped as she realized what she just admitted to. He stood up slowly and she watched him walk around the table towards her. His eyes never left her face and she felt like her heart would jump out of her chest if he took one step closer. She wanted to look away but his gaze kept her looking at him.

"You were the one who gave the papers to Trevor… I—I thought this divorce was what you wanted…" he whispered.

"What was I supposed to do? I woke up that morning after—after the night that we spent together and you were gone… and those papers were at my front door… I thought—I thought that this was what you wanted…" she said.

The tears were rushing to her eyes and this time she did nothing to stop them. She felt them spill over her eyelids and roll down her cheeks, probably taking some of her mascara with them. He quickly brushed the tears away from her eyes. His hands were soft and warm against her skin and she clutched his hand in hers.

"This was the last thing that I wanted to happen, Lulu…" he said.

"What is it that you want, Johnny?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I want the truth…" he said softly.

"The truth?" she squeaked.

"Yes…" he exhaled.

"O—Ok…" she stammered.

"The night that I got shot… you came to my room, right?" Johnny asked. She closed her eyes and exhaled shakily.

"Yes…" she whispered.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Why are you doing this?" she sobbed.

"Because I need to know, Lulu!" he cried.

"Why does it matter now what I said then? We're divorcing…" she said.

"I need know if I'm alone in this! I need to know if you love me or not, Lulu!" he shouted.

Lulu blinked slowly, taking everything in. Did she hear him correctly? Did he just ask her if she loved him or not? His hands were now on her shoulders, holding her close to him and his eyes bore into her, like they could see right into her soul and see how much she loved him.

"I can't—I can't do this right now, Johnny…" she cried, pushing herself away from him.

"So all of that on the witness stand… was a lie?" he asked.

She looked up at him and the hurt was written clear all over his face. His voice had been low and had emitted such sadness that she thought that she would just burst into tears.

"Johnny…" she exhaled.

"Just tell me the truth." Johnny said.

"What do you want from me?" she asked.

As the last syllable rolled off her tongue, he came to her and in one swift move, plowed his lips down onto hers. She felt her knees give out but he held her firmly close to him. She had never been kissed like this in her life. Kissing Johnny made her never want to come up for air and she could've sworn that she saw stars. Her hands slid up his shirt and around his neck as he kissed her with no abandon. His lips parted with hers, quietly gasping for air, but his eyes remained focused on her.

"Now you know what I want… what do you want, Lulu?" he asked, letting her go.

She could barely keep her balance after being kissed like that. He was standing a foot away from her, waiting for her answer. She backed away from him and walked back towards the table. She could feel his eyes following her and she picked up the divorce papers that were lying on top. Her hands shook as she held those documents in her hands.

"Johnny…" she began, looking up at him.

"You don't have to say another word, Lulu… I'll go get Trevor and Alexis…" he said, turning towards the door.

"Stop!" she cried and he immediately stopped, his hand on the doorknob.

She couldn't do this anymore. She was tired of hiding her feelings from him and the world. He had just put his heart out there and she wasn't going to wait a second longer to claim the life and the love that she deserved. She held the papers up and ripped them in half and she saw Johnny's eyes widen.

"I know what I've wanted for a long time and so have you… I said it the night that you were shot and I said it on the witness stand… I love you, Johnny… I love you so much…" she said.

She barely was able to get the words out before Johnny came to her and kissed her again. She felt her feet rise off the ground as he gently picked her up and sat her on the edge of the table. Her hands quickly pushed his black blazer off him and tossed it across the room as he took one of her legs in his hands and hitched it around his waist, closing the gap between them. His other free hand weaved through her hair as she tugged at his shirt, the very core of her stomach burning with need that only he could satisfy.

"I love you, Lulu… more than anything that I've ever known…" he whispered against her neck.

She brought his face up to hers again and kissed him sweetly on the lips. She was loved. She was loved by this man in her arms. She never thought that she would or could ever fall in love with Johnny Zacchara but there she was, ripping up the divorce papers and declaring her undying love for him. She never thought that marrying him would be the first step in falling in love with him.

"I love you too… and I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it…" she said.

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her again when they heard the sound of a throat clearing. They looked up and saw Trevor and Alexis standing in the doorway, both trying to retain some sort of professionalism and not laughing.

"Well, if you won't be needing us anymore… we'll just get going…" Trevor said, pointing to the ripped up divorce papers.

"And Lulu, I'll send the invoice for my services as soon as possible…" Alexis added and Lulu raised an eyebrow.

"I believe that I'll be covering my wife's legal expenses from now on…" Johnny said, curling a piece of hair around Lulu's ear.

"I'll take care of it… Ms. Davis, let me show you out…" Trevor said, putting his hand on Alexis' back and showing her to the elevator.

As soon as the two attorneys were out of sight, Lulu buried her face in Johnny's chest and began laughing. He wrapped his arms around her and laughed too.

"Come on… let me take you home…" he said, helping her off the table, and she slipped her arm around his and snuggled against him.

"Just take me wherever you're going…" she whispered.

* * *

Claudia walked through the main hall of the newly reconstructed Zacchara mansion. She had been overseeing the movers with the new furniture and they were working in the living room. She walked upstairs and towards her bedroom to take a nap. Today had been nothing short of exhausting and knew that Johnny was finalizing his divorce today and she needed all of her energy to pull an all-nighter trying to console her little brother. Suddenly, she heard the front door open and laughter echo throughout the main hall.

"You didn't tell me that the mansion was finished…"

"I didn't think it was going to matter because up until an hour and a half ago, I thought that you were divorcing me..."

"I'll race you upstairs…"

Claudia immediately ducked into her room as she heard footsteps charging up the stairs. She poked her head out of the door and she saw Lulu running up the stairs and Johnny close behind her. He quickly caught up to her and took her by the waist.

"Gotcha!" he laughed, pinning her against the wall.

"Ok! Alright! You win!" she laughed.

"What's my prize?" he asked.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Say it again…" he whispered.

Claudia saw Lulu smile as she wrapped her arms around Johnny's neck and pulled him in close. His forehead gently rested on hers as he held her.

"I love you, Johnny Zacchara… and I always will…" Lulu whispered.

Johnny bent over and kissed her sweetly on the lips and Claudia couldn't help but to feel a warmness flood her heart. She loved to see her brother so happy and Lulu couldn't be more perfect for him if she had picked her out of a catalogue herself. Johnny pulled away and reached over and opened the door to his own bedroom and he pulled her inside, kicking the door shut behind him with his foot. Claudia chuckled and shook her head.

_Well, it was about time…_


	20. Just Like Heaven

**A/N:** Wow! Here's the last chapter of Just Like Heaven! It's always weird to finish a story… and thinking that maybe I should've ended it like this or like that but it's done! Yay!!! As usual, it's longer than I intended it to be… but I guess that's good for all of you! More fluff is always good! I'd just like to thank all of you guys for taking the time out to read my little project and those of you who review regularly (and you know who you are), thank you so much! Nothing makes me happier to check my email and to see that I have a new review from one of you guys! Alright, as always, leave a review and look out for more stuff from me!

**Chapter 20 – Just Like Heaven**

"Are you going to come back to bed?"

Lulu turned around back towards the bed and she smiled at the sight of her husband, his sleepy eyes focused on her and with that irresistible smirk that she loved so much on his face. His hair was deliciously messy from rolling around in bed the previous night but he wore it so well that she couldn't help but to smile like a giddy teenager when he looked at her like that.

"Just a minute…" Lulu said, turning back to the mirror.

One hand was holding up her hair while the other gently fingered a dazzling necklace that Johnny had given her the night before. Carly and Jax were hosting a charity gala at the MetroCourt this evening and Johnny had surprised her with the necklace. A smile curved across her face. With her dress, this necklace and her gorgeous husband on her arm, she was sure to be the envy of every woman in that ballroom tonight. Suddenly, she felt a warm pair of hands slide up her shoulders and a pair of soft lips press to the back of her neck. Lighting shot through her spine and she exhaled sharply. Johnny's fingers traced her collarbone and then ran down the thin bed sheet that covered her.

"Got lonely?" she purred and he chuckled before sneaking a kiss behind her ear.

"Something like that…" he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Poor baby…" she teased turning around to face him.

He rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. He was holding her so close that she could feel his heartbeat and feel his warm breath on her face. She had never felt so safe and so loved in her entire life. Marrying Johnny Zacchara had been the best thing she had ever done because she had never fallen in love like this before.

"Waking up alone reminds me of when I didn't have you…" he said and she shook her head.

"You have me now… and that's all that matters." Lulu whispered, caressing his face with her hands. He closed his eyes and exhaled at her touch before kissing the inside of her palm.

Despite how trite it was, she felt like she could just melt. There was no greater feeling in the world than to look at Johnny and to see in his eyes how much he loved her. Juliet had her Romeo, Elizabeth had Darcy, and now Lulu had Johnny. She had found her own slice of heaven in his arms. Johnny's hand enveloped hers and he smiled.

"I never thought that I could be this happy…" he said, tracing her lips with his index finger.

"Me neither… a part of me just expects to open my eyes and realize that all of this has just been a dream…" she said.

"I never want to be without you, Lulu…" he said, curling a piece of hair around her ear.

"And you never will… I'm yours forever, Johnny…" she said.

He bent over and kissed her softly. His kisses always made her tremble with need. Her arms laced around his neck as her body came together with his. His hands slid up her waist to where her sheet was wrapped and quickly unloosened it. She gasped as he pressed his lips to her hot skin, trying not to explode in that moment. He buried his face in her neck as he continued to unwrap the sheet that was draped around her. She heard something that sounded like her name escape from his lips as wrapped his arms around her body after the sheet hit the floor. Johnny quickly scooped her up into his arms and carried her back to the bed.

To say that they were made for each other would've been the greatest understatement. They were two halves of the same whole. He could anticipate her reaction to every touch or every kiss that he placed on her delicate skin and she knew where to place her hands and how to hold him. Their appetite for each other was insatiable and not just physically. They could just sit up for hours talking about their pasts, their dreams, and each other, or they didn't even have to say anything at all. They could just sit there, lying in each other's arms without saying a word and the moment would be just as meaningful. She couldn't imagine being without him and he didn't want to share her with anyone. Neither of them could've anticipated how deeply they felt for each other.

* * *

"Lulu? Are you awake?" he asked softly.

She was facing him, her dark eyelashes resting gently on her cheek and she was snuggled against his chest. He kissed the top of her forehead when he pulled away, her eyes were open and looking up at him and he smiled.

"Now aren't you glad you came back to bed?" he asked.

"Very…" she giggled before kissing him again.

"So, I've been thinking…" he began.

"Uh-oh… that's not a good sign…" Lulu joked.

"Now that this marriage is real… do you want to have an actual ceremony?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You know… with the flowers and you in a white dress and with your family there… I mean, isn't that what most girls dream about?" he asked, tucking a stray curl behind her ear and she laughed and put her hand on his chest.

"I'm not most girls, Johnny…" she whispered against his neck and he felt his insides melt at the sound of her sultry voice. She was unbelievable.

"So very true… so you don't want to do it?" he asked.

She immediately sat up, swinging one leg over his body so she was sitting astride him. She laughed as his eyes widened in surprise. He didn't know what he did in a past life to deserve this girl but it must've been pretty damn good. She slowly bent over and kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"Of course I want to… but I don't think now is the right time…" she said, drawing little circles on his chest with her fingertips.

"Why?" he asked.

"Well, Johnny… because it just doesn't seem like us…" she said, a wicked glint flickering in her eye.

"Oh really? So, what sounds like us?" he asked as his hands slid up her thighs.

"Hmm… how about a few weeks in Capri? Or maybe at your family's villa in Milan?" she whispered in his ear.

His mind immediately imagined her on a beach in Capri, in a pristine white bikini and an orange hibiscus in her hand. The salty breeze whipped through her long blond curls as she threw her head back, laughing as a wave crashed on the shore, rushing over her toes. She tucked the flower behind her ear and turned towards him, beckoning him to come to her with her eyes.

His grip on her legs tightened.

He was _definitely_ taking her to Capri…

"A vacation?" he asked.

"Not just a vacation, Johnny… a honeymoon… you know, that thing that you're supposed to do after you get married? Sun, sand, surf and lots of hot, steamy and wild sex… definitely your type of vacation, don't you think?" she laughed and he couldn't help but to laugh too.

"You want to go on a honeymoon before we have an actual wedding?" he asked.

"Well, technically… we already had an actual wedding… so we'd just be a few months late with the honeymoon…" she laughed, kissing him gently on the nose.

"Ok, let me correct myself… you want to go on a honeymoon to celebrate a wedding that we had when we didn't even like each other before we have a ceremony that will be the real deal? That's a bit backwards, don't you think?" he laughed.

"Well, I've never pegged you for being traditional… and I hope you didn't think I was either… and besides, we're a backwards couple anyway… we got married first and fell in love second… why would I ruin such a good thing by doing things 'right'?" she asked.

Johnny opened his mouth to say something when the door flew open. Lulu immediately removed herself from her provocative position astride Johnny's waist and dove under the covers and Johnny began laughing. Claudia walked through the door and immediately took notice of her brother and his wife's position and tried to not laugh.

"You guys are so in love that it's nauseating…" Claudia chuckled as she folded her arms across her chest.

"You could knock, you know…" Johnny said.

"I thought that you guys would be dressed by now… it's almost noon…" Claudia said.

"We were tired…" Lulu said, faking a yawn.

"Yeah… you guys were up all night… I could hear you…" Claudia snickered and Johnny felt his entire face turn red.

"Claudia, I'm serious… if it's starting to feel crowded in this house, Johnny and I can find our own place… it's not a big deal…" Lulu said but Claudia shook her head.

"Of course I don't want you two to move out! This is John's house just as much as it's mine so you guys can live here as long as you want… we're family, right? And besides, you could have thirty people in this house and it wouldn't be crowded." Claudia insisted.

"So, Claudia… what are you doing in here anyway?" Johnny asked, putting his arm around Lulu and trying to hint that he and his wife were not done with each other this morning.

"Oh! That's right… I was just about to go into town to go pick up my dress for the benefit tonight and wanted to know if Lulu wanted to come with me… I'm sure that you don't want to come, John… I know how you're allergic to shopping…" Claudia said.

"Yeah, I'll definitely pass…" Johnny muttered.

"Do you mind if I go?" Lulu asked, turning to her husband.

"Who am I to get in the way of a woman with a credit card on her way to the mall?" Johnny laughed and Claudia scoffed.

"Ugh… like I would ever be caught dead in a mall… we're going to the boutique at the MetroCourt… they got a selection of one of a kind dresses specifically for this benefit tonight…" Claudia laughed.

"A dress is a dress…" Johnny said and both Claudia and Lulu shook their heads.

"Men…" they both said in unison. Johnny laughed and Lulu slipped out of his arms and into her robe and headed into the bathroom. As soon as Lulu closed the door, he turned to his sister.

"Claudia… I need you to do me a favor…" he said.

* * *

The charity benefit brought the majority of Port Charles together. The Jacks spared no expense with decorating the entire MetroCourt hotel for the occasion. All of the men were dressed sharply in their tuxedos and the women were dressed in beautiful and elaborate gowns.

"Well, I've never seen you this happy, Lu…" Carly whispered as she passed Lulu at the bar.

"Because I've never been this happy, Carly…" Lulu said, smiling, and Carly laughed.

"Must be a relief to know that your husband isn't going to prison…" Carly said.

"Yeah… that's also a relief…" Lulu said before taking a sip of champagne.

"Care to elaborate?" Carly asked.

"It's a long story and I'd hate to drag you into a play-by-play recap of my relationship with Johnny tonight… but I will tell you everything… don't I always?" Lulu asked.

"Yeah, even when I don't want to hear it…" Carly laughed.

They clinked their champagne flutes together, toasting to this occasion, and before she could take another sip, Lulu felt a hand on her back. She turned around and was immediately met with Johnny's lips to hers. When he pulled away, Lulu found herself gasping for air.

"Missed me?" he asked.

"Can't you tell?" she whispered and he chuckled.

"Always nice to see you, Mrs. Jacks…" Johnny said, acknowledging Carly's presence beside his wife.

"Likewise… and congratulations on the acquittal… I was just taking notice of how happy Lulu was…" Carly said.

"Well, I hope that I had something to do with that…" Johnny said, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"You really did…" Lulu said.

"Well, I hope you don't mind me stealing your cousin away for a moment… I've got a little surprise for my wife…" Johnny said and the two women laughed.

"Not at all… I've got to go find Jax anyway… Lulu, I'll see you later…" Carly said before walking in the direction of the hallway and Johnny took her by the hand and led her to the elevator.

"Another present?" Lulu asked.

"Well, you're the one who suggested it… and who am I to deny a beautiful woman anything?" Johnny asked.

Color rushed to her cheeks. These past three weeks together since their almost-divorce had been nothing short of amazing. Never in her life had she felt this kind of love. The elevator doors closed and he immediately pressed her against the wall, kissing her fiercely. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she prayed that no one would try to get on the elevator with them. The elevator slowed as it reached the lobby and the doors opened and Lulu heard laughter coming from the direction of the lobby.

"Seriously… don't you two ever get sick of each other?"

Johnny turned around and saw Claudia standing in front of the elevator and the two of them laughed as they walked out.

"Is the car here?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's waiting for you guys out in the valet area…" Claudia said.

"We're leaving?" Lulu asked.

"Yes, we are." Johnny said.

"Why?" Lulu asked.

"Do you not want to go to Capri?" Claudia asked, laughed, and Lulu's eyes widened.

"We're going to Capri?" Lulu asked, immediately turning to Johnny and still in disbelief.

"On a private plane…" Claudia added and Lulu immediately threw her arms around Johnny and began laughing.

"That was your surprise?" Lulu asked.

"Well, you said you wanted a honeymoon… and as your husband, I intend to spoil you rotten…" he said and Lulu cupped his face in her hands and kissed him.

"Alright, I don't want to ruin your moment… so I'm going back upstairs… I'll see you in a few weeks… and I might be able to get some sleep…" Claudia joked as she entered the elevator.

Before the doors even closed, Lulu grabbed Johnny by the arm and ran towards the valet. The driver already had the door open to the town car that was going to take them to the airport but before Lulu could climb into the car, Johnny pulled her towards him.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing… I just—I just want to tell you how lucky I am to have you, Lulu… you—you opened my eyes to how beautiful and wonderful the world could be. I didn't know it then, but the day that you found me on the roof of this building was the day you saved my life… if I didn't have you… I don't know where I would be right now…" he said.

His words sent a warmness through her entire chest. His fingers intertwined with hers and he bent over slowly to meet hers in a slow and loving kiss that made her body tremble. She never thought that she could matter so much to someone. That someone could need her so profoundly and she didn't know that she could feel the same way. She was always afraid to fall in love because what if he didn't catch her? But the way that Johnny looked at her, held her, kissed her and even made love to her always told her the same thing: _I've got you_.

She pulled away from him and put her hands on his chest, right over his heart. It soothed her to feel his heartbeat, like they were connected in some deep way that went beyond any physical or emotional way.

"Johnny, I'm—I wasn't the type of person who believed in true love and destiny and all of that fairy tale stuff… I thought that finding that type of love was a one in a million… I just assumed that I would find someone who was suitable and I figured that I was just going to settle for that… and then I met you and my entire life changed. I never… ever… thought that I could say this but you're—you're the love of my life, Johnny… you're my one in a million and I—" she said but Johnny immediately cut her off by capturing her mouth in a kiss.

She didn't even notice that she had started to cry until he pulled away and wipe the tears from her cheek. It should've been a sin to be this deliriously happy. Things like this didn't happen to her. She never expected to love this deeply but she did and he loved her with the same intensity. It almost made her laugh to think how she had once thought otherwise. He kissed the top of her forehead and smiled down at her.

"I love you so much…" he said.

"I love you too…" she said, squeezing his hand.

"Alright, if you don't get in the car right now, we're going to run out of things to say when we get married for real…" he chuckled as he showed her to the car door.

Lulu laughed and slid into the town car and Johnny followed right behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and she nuzzled into his chest, taking in the sweet smell of his cologne. She closed her eyes and placed her hand on his chest while he drew circles on her back.

"I'm glad I married you…" she whispered.

"I'm glad I married you too…" he said, smiling.

His fingers laced with hers and he kissed the top of her hand softly. The ignition of the car started soon after and they pulled out of the valet of the hotel. The last thing that Lulu could remember before drifting off to sleep in his arms, like she had done every night for the past three weeks, was listening to Johnny's soft voice telling her about his dreams for their future together. As he spoke, she saw it materialize before her eyes and it was absolutely beautiful to behold.

_You  
Soft and only  
You  
Lost and lonely  
You  
Just like heaven…_

"Just Like Heaven" – The Cure

**THE END**


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